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2.0k · Jul 2019
Am I really fine
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
I’m fine I’m fine
Im fine I’m fine

Jk am I really fine,
No, but no one seem to notice,
So all I say is “I’m fine”
By six again :/ :(
1.2k · Nov 2019
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
A word and a name.
We all meet her one day.
A girl named Destiny,
her majesty.
Our fate is her crown.

She’ll end you all,
begin you all.
She’ll make you sorry in the end.
Cuz she’s your Destiny,
her majesty.
Just by looking at her, knees bend.

But we fall.
We all fall.
And Destiny’s no exception.
With her life on the line,
it’s her life or mine.
An ultimate ultimatum.

Falling faster!
Can’t live without her!
This girl named Destiny,
it’s clear to see,
she only wants to help me.

means so much more to me!
Not some false hope
or a pure mistake.
She’s my Destiny,
her majesty.

Perhaps if I believe,
believe in what I see,
I’ll be alright.
No instincts such as fight or flight...
If I believe in Destiny,
I’ll be alright.

With her, I’ll be alright.
Together, we’ll be alright.
I trust in her.
Believe in her.
Because Destiny owes me a favor
and I plan to collect.
alright who drugged my juice
532 · Nov 2019
cheat sheet
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
i'm a cheat sheet
a cheap sheet
look to me for answers
learn nothing yourself
maybe you tried before coming to me
or maybe you just forgot
i'll help,
i'll help,
no cost at all.
i have the answers
and you'll use me.
then discard me
and forget me.
just a last resort anyway.
507 · Sep 2019
so fast
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
like the snap of a finger,
the flick of a wrist.
a good day
can change
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Here’s the story

of five kids.

Two girls

and one boy.

And the only one

who will speak the truth.

We’ll start with the newest.

A tall Christian girl.

She wears glasses, likes books,

and likes to draw.

She seems happy enough,

no matter how quiet she seems.

But she’s never happy,

never been alright.

Too much pressure.

Too many people.

She tries to make others happy

for the price of her own.

She felt forgotten by her family.

Forgotten by her friends.

Forgotten by her classmates.

Forgotten by the world.

I wish I could guarantee

that she’s not.

She knows I’m always there.

Always active.

Always awake.

And I'm glad that she does.

But then she breaks

like a clay piggy bank.

I’ve only known her a year

but I’d trust her with my life.

She’s like a mom to me.



But in a good way.

I call her Mum

and her girlfriend Papa.

I love them.

They love me.

At least...

I hope they do.

I will protect this girl with everything I have.

I will better myself for her.

I will help her through this.

I will listen to her problems.

I will prove I love her.

I will not let anyone else fall because of me.
Hej! First poem on here, hah. Hope it's good! It's part of a series too, I have it all written down! :D
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Thin fingers gracefully traced the neck,
Creating beautiful sounds in elegant patterns.
He speeds up,
Swiftly going from piano to fortissimo.

A pig interrupted from behind,
No, that was just a girl.
A girl squealing like a pig.
Couldn’t she just shut up?

The jejune girl known as Juliet was jumping up and down,
Her pink, floral dress bouncing up and down in non-existent wind.
She said something about her regional orchestra,
He grumbled a half-hearted congratulations.

He gently set the hairs of his bow back on his A-string,
but pressed down and pulled in frustration as two more voices interrupted him.
He knew who interrupted, and took a deep breath.

A thin, androgynous boy was smiling at the camera,
No doubt at Juliet.
Another boy was smirking,
A smirk that didn’t care.

Achilles laughed and asked what Roderich was working on.
On one hand, the Austrian was thrilled he asked.
On the other, he didn’t want him to ask.
So, he looked at his screen with a look of happiness, confusion and anger.

Hanna answered for him,
“Golden Statues and Fallen Castles.
It sounds pretty good, but it’d sound better on harp.”
Roderich looked offended, as if someone took an ugly picture of him.

He tried to retort, but it fell on deaf ears.
The Faroese girl gasped and slammed her hands down.
Something fell. She cursed in Danish.
“One second!” She sounded far away.

“Probably knocked her mic down,”
Roderich thought, rolling his eyes.
Achilles wanted nothing more
Than to punch his forever disgusted face.

“You all know Apollo, some Greek god?”
Everyone nodded in various degrees of enthusiasm.
From an uninterested hum to a scream of excitement,
They gave her a signal to continue.

The Greek boy began to rant, cutting off Hanna.
“Oh my God,
A folk story said the ‘Harp of Apollo’ fell from Olympus.
That’s my all time favorite story, I think it’s very informative and interesting and i-“

“The Harp of Apollo”
Roderich scoffed, interrupting him.
“fell from Olympus?
Who found it and got it’s magic powers?”

The two Italians chuckled lightly,
but Hanna didn’t think it was funny.
“That’s actually what I was gonna say.”
Everyone shushed at her serious tone. Why was it so serious?

“I have a challenge for you,
Find the Harp and get it back to Apollo.
Nobody has classes, right?”
She said the last word in a mock Austrian accent.

Unsurprisingly, Roderich rolled his eyes.
“Why? It’s not like it’s real.”
She shrugged and said it might be “fun”.
Who’s ever heard of fun?

An uncomfortable silence gave everyone time to think.
Achilles said goodnight.
He’d play.

Romano screamed something in Spanish,
away from the camera, thankfully.
He slammed his hand into the mouse
and logged off.

Juliet waved the two goodbye,
blowing them each a kiss.
Roderich flipped her off,
and she logged off.

Hanna sighed
and said nothing.
The two made brief eye contact,
and then logged off.
Leaving the Austrian alone with his viola.
i just got progressively less and less creative as i wrote lol, but it’s based off a story i wrote in sixth grade so :/
rereading this, the first stanza sounds like *** ****
403 · Aug 2019
i’m telling the truth
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
if you keep lying to yourself it’ll come true.
you’re not hurting yourself.
you’re not cutting.
you’re eating enough.
you’re not suicidal.
you’re not depressed.
you’re getting enough sleep.
you’re good enough.
you’re a good person.
you’re happy.
you’re okay.
you’re a good singer.
you’re a good artist.
you’re a good writer.
you’re understanding.
you’re a good friend.
you’re not manipulative.
you’re not sensitive.
you’re a good listener.
you’re able to vent.
you’re valid.
you’re listened to.
you’re not being manipulated.
you’re not lying to yourself.
you’re telling the truth.
you’re always there for others.
you’re patient.
you’re trying hard enough.
you’re not annoyed easily.
you’re a good cellist.
you’re a good student.
you’re a good child.
you’re funny.
you’re confident.
you’re not at all shy.
you’re creative.
you’re able to achieve your dreams.
you’re loved.
380 · Jan 2020
Box of Brownies
Lizzie Matthias Jan 2020
Valentine’s day
I had an idea
What if we made them
Boxes of brownies?
It’s a step up from chocolates,
They like my baking, too
We’ll make some for everyone else, too
hahahahaha they better watch out
312 · Jul 2019
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Two more days of freedom
Then you're locked back up
In isolation

Why does this have to happen?
Why couldn't I stay home?
I just wanted to help...

Cancer this,
Radiation that.
Can't you just be healthy?

Please don't leave me,
I'm not ready.
I love you
No she's not going to prison, she has to go though radiation therapy again for cancer. :/
300 · Aug 2019
Moose and a Milkshake
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
What’s the difference?
They can both make you happy
Or give you severe diarrhea.
One way or another, it affects your life,
wether it be good or bad.
But, to be fair,
So does ******.
someone stop me from writing poems while drunk
282 · Jul 2019
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
oh right, capitalism
267 · Oct 2019
i love you <3
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
By God, you’re pretty

No matter what you say.

You can’t change my mind.

You’re better this way.

Your laugh is gentle.

It makes me smile...

Do you wanna

Stay for a while?

Can’t help me loving you.

You make me feel.

My love for you

Makes me unbeatable!

I’m never silenced.

Never thought down on.

I want you to know

That I’m rooting for ya~

I’ll believe you

You don’t believe me...

But please,

When I say...

Believe me when I say



You. <3
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Here’s the story
of five kids.
Two girls
and one boy.
And the only one
who will speak the truth.

Sadly, this is about me.
The one who speaks the truth.
A short-haired, short-figured girl
who has nothing to lose.
Maybe this should’ve been last,
but that’s where the best is.

Friends say I need to eat.
Friends say I need a hug.
Friends say I need to stop.
Friends say I’m too loud.
Maybe they’re right.
Maybe I do need to stop.

I try to think that people care.
I try to make them believe that I care.
But when you hurt yourself,
doubt yourself,
or starve yourself,
It just makes me want to stop.

Everybody knows that I’m here for them.
The fifth,
the fourth,
the third,
the first.
But who’s there when I need to cry?

I try my best,
I really do.
But the only things you say are either
“Lizzie no”
“Lizzie stop”

My only sense of help
Is the Internet and myself.
I promise I’ll be fine, my friends!
I love me, okay?
Why do you think I’m always up?
Why do you think I never have anything to say?

I swear I will eat.
I swear I will get a hug.
I swear I will stop.
I swear I will be quieter.
I swear I will stop hitting myself.
I swear I will respect myself more.
I swear I will protect you with everything I have.
I swear I will better myself for you.
I swear I will help you through this.
I swear I will listen to your problems.
I swear I will prove to you, once and for all, that I love you.
I swear I will not let anyone else fall because of me.

Are these promises to my friends...

or to myself?
Whoopsie doodles! That was kinda sad, but I swear I’ll be fine!
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Here’s the story
of five kids.
Three girls
and one boy.
And a lonely child
who’s heart I broke.

Finally, we get to the fifth.
An FTM kid.
They draw and write.
But they’re on here, too.
I don’t want them to find out.

I’ve said so much to hurt them.
All of us have said so much,
whether we meant it or not.
So, they closed themself
off from everyone.
Everyone in real life.

can’t say anymore.
But, babe, if you see this…
I’m so sorry.

I swore I’d protect you and I hurt you.
I swore I’d get better and I couldn’t.
I swore I’d help you and I made things worse.
I swore I’d listen and I couldn’t take it.
I swore I loved you and I do.
I swore I wouldn’t let you fall and I pushed you off the cliff.
Jeg elsker dig <3 Ich liebe dich <3 I love you <3
243 · Jul 2019
It's 3 AM and I'm t i r e d
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
How'd you feel if I set my room on fire
How would I feel if I set my room on fire
wait a second-
227 · Oct 2019
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
A chemical imbalance.
      That's it.
          That's all it is to me.
               It's hardwired that way
                   To give us no gain.
                      Only a single little
                          Fleeting feeling
                              That no one can know.
214 · Feb 2020
Lizzie Matthias Feb 2020
i’m feeling fine
a bit bulimic, but that’s alright
you write to me,
i write right back
and that’s all we’ll ever need
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Here’s the story
of five kids.
Two girls
and one boy.
And the only one
who will speak the truth.

Here’s the third.
An Italian boy.
He plays the cello, writes poems,
Watches anime and brags too much.
He seems rather confident,
But on the inside, he is not.

Much like the fourth,
he's depressed.
And much like the fifth,
he's insecure.
He doesn’t try to hide it, though.
E v e r y b o d y k n o w s.

He’s getting help.
He has been for years.
But it’s just been getting worse
and everyone can tell.
I wish I could guarantee
that he is not alone.

He knows I'm always there.
A shoulder to cry on.
A pillow to hug.
But he doesn’t say anything.
Not unless the first talks first.

He used to make me uncomfortable
because he was weird.
Now he just makes me uncomfortable
because of his touches.
But aside from that, he’s amazing.
And he thinks I am, too.

He calls me Dad
and the first Mom.
I don’t love him like a daughter though.
More like a brother.
We look like twins, anyway.
It was just a Fourth Grade joke.

I will protect this boy with everything I have.
I will better myself for him.
I will help him through this.
I will listen to him problems.
I will prove I love him.
I will not let anyone else fall because of me.
Hehe he’s on here too but who says it’s a guy ;)
Also he’s not molesting me! He just does this weird thing with my knee and his hand where he spreads it out and God I hate him for that.
206 · Nov 2019
my dear
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
oh, my lovely, little, loveless lovis
with your heart so full of pain
keep yourself in check, my dear
or i’ll need to have you restrained
206 · Nov 2019
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
I hate my birthday.
No point in celebrating
a day of pain
and almost death.
The day an accident
took it's first breath.
204 · Sep 2019
Feeling Better
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
The world is brighter,
the colors seem happier!
i don’t have to hide away
behind my fake little mask.

My friends who read this,
the bracelets aren’t because i’m hurting myself,
I just think they’re pretty!
Just like me!

I’m eating more,
or trying to!
Food is good...
Food tastes good.

I’m getting better,
Much, much better.
Secrets aren’t nice.
Secrets and lying don’t make me feel good.
179 · Nov 2019
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
As the streetlights flicker,
my face is wet with tears.
As the storm grows thicker,
I try to hide from my fears.

It’s not working.
Thunder isn’t thunder anymore.
It sounds like shouting.
People screaming themselves sore.

I’ll try to hide.
Cower in my bed.
But it sounds like a crashing tide,
and it won’t ******* END.

Stop, I whimpered.
Please, no, I cry.
But I can’t speak louder than a whisper,
no matter how hard I try.
I was in a big one recently and... ****, I was scared shitless...
176 · Aug 2019
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
you don't wanna know what

so many choices,
so many voices.
you don't wanna know what

happy in the sun,
disappointed in the dark,
where are your friends?
did your family leave you?


i wanna leave,
get away,
get away,
i plead.
get away,
they never listen,
so i'm forced to stay.

attention *****
lazy *****
ungrateful brat
don't call me that, please
it brings up bad memories.

they whisper.
beg like a dog,
they laugh.
no, no, i don't want to...
i just want it to stop.

don't make me,
don't make me,
please, please,
no, no, no, n-

never twice.
my life.
i'll finally be gone,
i got away.

do you wanna know what
169 · Sep 2019
feeling blue
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i’m feeling blue,
what about you?
i wanna know the truth,
i’ll speak the truth.
i trust you’ll tell me.
i’m confident you’ll tell me.
163 · Jul 2019
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I'm sympathetic,
And overall,
155 · Jul 2019
Happy In The Dark
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I look in the corner
There's a man in a chair
He stares at me, smiling weirdly
I smile back, waving happily
hehe that’s satan :3
153 · Dec 2019
Have a Nice Day
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
No longer a bother
And nothing to ponder
I'll be hitting the hay
Think about all this another day
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
falling out a tree,
spraining my right wrist.
running ‘round the woods,
trying to find my friends,
they look at me, confused
“what’s with all the rush?”
I scream, “we gotta go dudes!
The monster wants our heads!”

Oh, let us run!
Away from the gun!
They’ll pull our insides out!
We fall back down into a ditch,
With no way to get out!
Oh, let us climb!
I can’t climb,
My wrist hurts way too much!
I say, “Just leave me here to die,
Find your own way out!”
145 · Nov 2019
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
It's normal
Been repeated
I've since been undefeated
But now
With her
I'll be standing lost and alone
And my stomach's all in shambles
My hearts been rearranged
My brain is overcrowded
Have I really been replaced?
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Here’s the story
of five kids.
Two girls
and one boy.
And the only one
who will speak the truth.

Next is the fourth.
A caramel haired girl.
She draws, she writes,
she reads and plays violin.
She’s rather two-faced,
but I know who she really is.

She's suicidal.
She's depressed.
Her family is Christian
and against her loving girlfriend.
All that leads up to
“the classic slicey-dicey!”

She thinks that no one cares.
She knows her parents don't.
She pours out her heart to me,
her wall, and her knife.
I wish I could help guarantee,
it'll all be okay.

She knows I'm always there.
Ready to listen.
Ready to care.
I’m upset she always thinks she’ll hurt me.
But in her defense,
she makes me worry.

I used to be jealous of her.
She used to be afraid of me.
But now she’s the dad I never had.
Doesn’t make me cry.
Well, not in a bad way.

I call her Papa
And her girlfriend Mum.
I love them.
They love me.
At least...
I hope they do.

I will protect this girl with everything I have.
I will better myself for her.
I will help her through this.
I will listen to her problems.
I will prove I love her.
I will not let anyone else fall because of me.
Hehe part two with 4! She’s amazing, but she doesn’t think so... meh, whatever :/
141 · Dec 2019
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Will myself to sleep.
Will I go to sleep?
Too many thoughts.
Tired eyes,
Active mind.
I live my life wrapped up in lies.
It's quiet a bind.
138 · Aug 2019
137 · Aug 2019
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
you don't wanna know what
I thought this was from a song?? It might be?? If anyone knows what song it's from, please tell me but I've just had this stuck in my head for a few months now.
131 · Aug 2019
shut up.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
there’s a time and place for everything
and i don’t know
when to keep my mouth
115 · Sep 2019
white abyss
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i'm falling,
it's pulling me in.
or, i think i am.
the only thing i see
is a white abyss
of terrifying possibilities.
114 · Sep 2019
black void
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
a sense of nothing.
i want to sleep,
to end it all.
or at least just make
their screaming stop.
113 · Jan 2020
Lizzie Matthias Jan 2020
With all these lies I tell,
how long until I’m the boy who cried wolf?
112 · Nov 2019
Falling Action
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
What did I

What did I

What did I do?

You’ve forgotten me.

I could stay right here for days

And nobody’d notice me.

I’d fall from action,

Fall from passion,

Fight my back to the top.

But time and time and time again,

I’ll be thought the same.

Think of me then,

Think of me now,

Compare me now and again.

Did I get better?

Did I get worse?

Either way you’ll be wrong.

Take me,

Fake me,

Desecrate me,

Everything feels the same.

But in my falling hours...

Will I ever feel the same?
112 · Oct 2019
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
i don't say that enough,
not ever enough.
maybe if i said it more
everything would be alright.

please don't go,
please don't stay silent,
please don't stop being you,
please don't...

i'm sorry for what i said
i'm sorry for what i did wrong
i'm sorry for being a bad friend
i'm sorry, i'm sorry

i'm sorry i'ms rory i'm storry i'mst oryr r im sorry im sorru im' soryr i'm sorryr i im soryr im sory pleas e lplease lea s eplease pl as e dont go i'm soryr im osryrr ims srour
im so sorry..
111 · Dec 2019
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Be a better friend
All memories end
Fall into a puddle
Of never-ending sorrow
Maybe if you stay alive,
Some new help will arrive?
Or perhaps ask for it,
Combat it,
Find a will to survive.
110 · Aug 2019
Fit In
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Everyone’s doing it
They’re going through so much more than me...
So that’s why.

I didn’t mean for you to find out.
I was just lashing out,
I don’t know where it came from.

It’s not your fault,
I was foolish for thinking I should do it.
I heard everything about it, and still, I did it.

It wasn’t a panic attack, okay?
It felt more like a sensory overload, actually.
Don’t worry about me.

I’m fine.
Just ruined my friend’s birthday party :D
110 · Aug 2019
room tour
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
messy room = cluttered brain
empty room = empty heart
104 · Jul 2019
Lost in Moscow Joke Haiku
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Evan what the hell
Matt and I have been waiting
Where the **** are you
Respond to your **** texts kid
103 · Oct 2019
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
i can’t help,
but i try.
this might be the worse you’ve ever felt.
i’ll let you cry.

i wish i could promise it’ll be fine.
i wish i could promise it’ll be alright...
but all you can do is pine,
pine over your lost direction in life.

at least you said something,
at least you didn’t shut up.
don’t shut your mouth and say nothing,
don’t hesitate to interrupt.

don’t say it won’t last.
don’t say
103 · Sep 2019
purple vomit
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
"peculiar," i think.
i ***** more,
tears streaking
my pretty little mask.
my throat is sore from
the weird medicine
and i wipe my mouth
on my royal, purple dress.
102 · Oct 2019
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
See one,
See two.
B 1.
B 17!
102 · Dec 2019
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Is she still my friend
If she lied?
Is she still my friend
If she's made me cry?
I want to think she is,
Want to think our relationship was real.
But after everything was revealed,
She ended up with lips sealed.
102 · Sep 2019
my dream
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
happiness is a dream
a dream i want to keep
i'll keep it so dear to me
it'll never fade away

but just like all dreams,
or most dreams, anyway,
i'll end up forgetting it
losing it
and it'll go away
101 · Aug 2019
Harp in the Woods
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Golden and

It sits next to a waterfall,
Near Dyjandi,
Vestfirdir, Iceland.
Perched on a rock.

Untouched for years,
It belongs to a girl.
A girl who has been looking,
Searching for years.
100 · Sep 2019
let’s see them aliens
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