Always tried to live by "don't let your worries ruin your days"
Becomes quite the task when your worries are your days
And you're stuck in between conversation in a hungover afternoon haze
Can't ever get anything out with your constant interruptions
You couldn't ever know what I want
Because all you want to do is talk about you, flaunt, flaunt

Constant conversation, you mys as well mark that down in your monolog
The only one I can talk to is myself
Makes for some interesting morning jogs

Sorry about the hate mail but it's the only way I could get a message across to you

Miss my dorm room for once, everything before I met you
It's better to think about how lovely love is than to fall in it

Guess last night got a little intense
All part of your orchestrated pretense
Hence the midnight foreplay, or was everything you said just hearsay
Were we ******* in your room or were those just rumors
Maybe I was just high
That's why I had such a hard time seeing through your lies
Getting caught up in between your thighs
Guess I missed all the morse code hidden in your sighs
Best friends? Goodbye.

You call me cold
But I'll let you be the one checking for a pulse
I guess we're not getting back together, things aren't just on hold
That'll be the last night I **** your loneliness away
After this I hope your investment pays
Off
Because I hope he's everything I'm not cough
I'm not the only one at a loss

Maybe he'll have fun trying to repair every little part of you I ****** up, and maybe he'll give you his friends, and let you climb inside of his life, and maybe he'll regret it all. I hope you find me in him.

I just want to know why you can't make your own friends and get your own life
Why do you have to stick around
Like you're the only ******* blip in town

What I don't get is why he'd try to include me in it
Try and hold my hand while he's holding yours? What a ******* strategy you sad *******
Maybe you can be the one to **** her loneliness away
Leaves me wondering why I put up with this every ******* day

I don't regret much, but I wish I never met you

Have you ever stared at the wall so long it started to swell
Thought so long you put yourself into a circle of hell
Sitting there on the front porch in your underwear with a cigarette hanging out the corner of your mouth
Breeze flowing through your hair casting your gaze at  splotchy clouds and roughed suburban shingles that line your crooked vision
Haven't shaved or showered for three days
You don't even smoke but for some reason you like that taste of nostalgia
Grades are in the trash, and you don't even have your chess pieces aligned to start playing
Thinking through ever girl you've used, and every other bar you've been to
Now you're stuck
Sitting ***** with a **** eating grin on your mug
There's never been a more lonely sound then the muffled wall sound of two people who are not
Helps you picture the perfect playground for your imagination to take off
Something that speaks in a language you can't decipher with your own clever English
Put down that pencil, to get out of this you're going to need more than a writing utensil
Where are we going to now, you ask?
Dunno, somewhere new, that sounds pretty good.

Getting sick of my best friends
Just want to meet some people on the surface
Everyone's a little ugly on the inside
Or maybe I'm just blind, haven't been able to look past it, it just resides

But I don't need to be picked apart by you, and I don't want to pick you apart
Because maybe we're the problem
Maybe I should stop trying and study hard and go to work
Get caught up in this dishroom small talk
Talk to her till I don't have to think anymore and
Get caught up in what could have been

Death is the absence of life
Dying gives meaning to life

I guess you've heard it all
All the sweet cliche romaticize
When they tell you you're the most beautiful
You just roll your eyes and sigh,
It's they who ruin it for the other guys

How am I to convince you that in such a short period of time
You had taken a mime and brought out someone much more sublime
You taught a man with so much inside sounds he never knew he could make
And when there was nothing left to hide
All of his dark emotions had subsided his heart quakes
And his heart filled with something, that for once was one sided
He knew he loved you, at what was something practically first-sighted


There are no tears, his eyes are dry
But maybe that's because he never got to say his goodbyes
Instead he's stuck with a pain inside that was greater than before he met your evil side

But did you lie to him, because you led him on
You confided in him
When tears ran down your face and you told him that he was genuine
Or was that just something cliche of the feminine
Have you ruined it for the rest of them?
He's lost and confused, and often thinks of you
I bet you with feelings as strong as his, he'd make his way back to you
Some how, some way, how will he ever convince you?

Terra plated eyes, green of intention
Your pupils like pangea, the only homage for mine
Your satellite strengthens every time I feel some sign
Humble freckles spot your soft skin, but you're not quiet, nor shy
The definition of your face dances neon in the night, as we dampen the grass beneath us with our feet
Every smooth curve that forms you is a pleasure to my sight
My somber summer softened by your heartbeat
Such a common sound to hear, but for some reason I have a feeling I'll never forget yours
The first time I knew love was real, but to say that would have left my heart sore
We made that tent our canvas as we sharpened our shadows in the middle of that night
It could have turned any feeling of remorse or regret into right
You are nameless to all but me, and you don't understand that just yet
But I hope that one day you'll wake up when you think of me as the sun sets.

My heads like a magazine
Skimming through all the pages like "What's all the fuss."
And making up the rest of it
I guess that's part of the buzz
Like a silly love song about something that never was
That's what my mind does
But it's never ambitious enough to fall on love

Art is not made for you
Art is not made for thyself
Art is made within itself
That's real passion

I wish that I was art.

Should just leave you alone
All I'll ever be is a change in tone
I think I could love again
But the doubts already been reflected in my lens

People are probably more right about me than I've never been
I thought my past was supposed to tell me what I want for my future
But that accident was more than a fender bend

I try to take all the bad with the good
I figure if things happen, that's how they should
But when everything's going okay
Where's the success in that without having to pay
Everything that was ever great becomes transparent
And you lose sight of something that was so opaque

And with the lack of imagery
How will we find symmetry
Your side is perfectly alined
And mine is all white washed from the pine
Don't tell me you're fine
Without me your personality subsides
A man is nothing but his confidence
But you're too caught up in your pompous dance

You're running around with your head cut off
And your circus personality
Your face is ****** and sad, with those dark rings around your eyes, and all the years you've seen have made you plain curmudgeony
Your silt pockets run dry to the earth, their face is laced with ******* and dirt
Your mace head is running wiry with hair, and you wouldn't be surprised if you found a rats nest in there
You've been casted a role, that you forgot how to play, from all the years of half-assed hearsay
You said you'd give me your word, and chilled with guilt, you fiddled and farted away

What is light? If I turn it on, you will see
If I turn it off how am I sure if I cease to be?
It's within this arc that time bleeds
The only time that we can be in two places at once, at vastly different times
Where the resonance of stars still chime

You said time travel was impossible
And I told you, "Maybe not for you, no."

If science is what works
Then why do you trust those casino clerks
With their robotic arms and all of their clockwork
How elusive a round clock that makes you think you can start over
In a time where people feed you their linear lies, but you forget when you're sober
Yes the clock sounds in circles, but darling you're getting older

If science is what works then why do you try and paint with water
You've got a beautiful canvas, but you're as unstable as a teeter-totter
The shower head will spin and spin and as amphibious as you feel you may never grow fins
Where you will find yourself on the bathroom floor, made a mess of wine and gin.
If science is what works, then why do you binge?

If science is what works then where do you find yourself in between my pen and my paper
When I struggle to smith words out of granite and slavework
Where imagination paints pictures in more colors then my lead
When I don't know if you're the one guiding my hand or if it's all in my head
Maybe you're a projection, and maybe in my writing I have found a self objection
But if science is what works, then why could you never decipher my sincere affection?
Why do you get along better with those robotic clerks
You and I must be more complex than clockwork
You and I must be more intricate than my own art work

I walked away from that blurry night
With my back wrapped nakedly in soft silk, tossing and turning in a fight
Your brother in so much pain and your mother in a scurry to find her words
You tell me it's alright, and that there's nothing to fear
But anybody who knows you knows the lies you mend are sincere

I wanted to leave your family there in the fog of that old apartment building and resume myself to the lone cars sifting through the highway by 407
But I knew that I wanted you to follow me to share that peace I've found in the the hours past eleven
And as I walked away on a familiar stranger road
I turned around to expect your goofy smile, a smile that read you would come back with me to see my life
I called out to you, and let my words fight the silent in the night
And as I turned around, all I found was you and your mother far off in the corner of my sight
With a *** and a garden trowel, and you said to me that you'd bring it light
Although your father was never there, and most of your life you'd spent scared, you planted a sunflower in the mourning of his leaving glare
And like northern lights, did the sun rise that morn, when you told me that you wish, like this sunflower, that you could be borned
That although hurt and never to let go, you'd make the best of it, to give light to your scorn

If only I could learn from this, to make the best of everything as you do
But maybe I'm just still waiting for you to come back with me so that we can start new
So that you and I can watch the sunset, and I can find light too

I want to have kids, beautiful, beautiful children with someone I love one day.

I'm a wave length
And you pluck me like a guitar string
And the sounds I make you'll never hear anywhere else
But expect every up to have a frown
Expect every noun I say, to be turned down
Put me in a bath, give me my crown
My mother never told me to look both ways before I crossed the street
She can't stop me now while I cross the road and let myself bleed
I told you I couldn't tell you everything
And my loyalty to you has surpassed the loyalty I owe to me
But at least I left you my seed
I'm sorry, but I'm taking my greed with me

Love at first sight
Was never meant to be taken literal
I don't even know what you've been through
But there's something under your skin
And I want to be there

Never wanted to know someone more
Never wanted to feel what rejection could be like
But I wanna take a risk with you
I would rather try and let you walk right through me
Cause sometimes the weight of not knowing is worse
Than not knowing at all

And there's something under your skin
And I'm sick of being scared
My time's growing thin
And I would have, I would have rather cared
Then had left it all behind

The smile on your face makes me selfless
What's that feeling, mind eraser
I hope I dream about you tonight
I hope I meet you tomorrow

Wish I had somebody to kick it with
Said I wanted to be alone, but it already felt like she wasn't there
I guess she was everything just to be fair
Had somebody who loved my writing but wouldn't read my poetry
Liked that she knew where to find it but never looked
But it felt like she didn't care, it left me crooked, --no entry--
Just sitting here in my room weeping like a bent tree
Feel like a ******* baby cause she took my nook
She had it in her hand but she never read my book

Now I'm actually alone, don't know how I like it though
Thought it would give me room to prosper and grow
Now I find myself walking the streets just to clear my mind --to and fro--
Miss your letters, when my phone would light up --new messages--
I'd put it back in my pocket, hiding behind these electronic hedges
Summer's not for lovers, summer's easy, I need that cold to help me struggle
Make me hide in my room, I need saving, get me out of my bubble
I'm too far away, space telescope, hubble trouble

You said you cried everyday since
Not one tear has left my eyes, they're empty
Couldn't tell you why, I'm just waiting cause time's tempting
Told you I loved you, couldn't tell you if it meant a thing
Couldn't tune you like a guitar, the string snaps every time
Tried to care about you, but you only cared about you too
Thought I cared about you, till I distilled the glue
That kept us together, I'm sick of this old ****, try something new

Had to get out, have to numb until I find myself out
I saw her out, and I saw her out, and I saw her out
And I've seen to many her's, in between all the meaningless musical blurs
And all the lies I'm telling her in my bed while I listen to Handsome Furs
Music's quite amazing when it can make you feel something you do not
Thought I was king of my mind, then I find something else to think about and my brain's back to the grind, just trying to figure it out
Now everything that's behind me is something I've fought
I sound like some *** who's like "It's more complicated than that"
It always is, everybody's calloused, like all the tattoos you got
Keep it all in, let your personality rot

Wish the what if's would stop bluffing me too
Need to start counting cards to win
I'm too distracted to let you under my skin
I don't even know how to play the game
But hey I'll play 52 pick up with you

Clean off your slate, that messy desk is just a ruin of all your memories
Dust every corner of your room, make room for contemporary
Throw all your old toys in the garbage, they're just personality accessories
Destroy yourself if all means point to necessary

Talk to the conch before you throw it back into the sea
Or into that lake broken of glass bottles that gave you ****** feet
Dress yourself up, make yourself look neat
Only return to that lake if you want to see where your heart still beats
Strip your bed, clean your sheets
Forget those games in the corner they distract you from the elite

Travel into an empty cave, forget the friends you once knew
Trade out your old sneakers for some nice shoes
Forget the swing sets, and the bicycles, they're way past due
Forget the silly pop music, it's time you outgrew
Cast away that personality, trade it for a tie and a monochrome hue

Try on your high heels and your perfume
Lose some weight and your hostility too
Skewer you, skewer you into a new geometrical suit
You jump now, you're a frog now, not a newt
Learn how to love, learn how to reproduce
Learn about narcissism, try to pursue
Learn about love, try not to lose
Learn about depth, try to precept
Learn about religion, try faith too
Learn about yourself, try to hold on to that, it's more important than you ever knew
Become one of the many, one of the many of the few
Take everything out of that trash can, begin anew

I try not to let my worries ruin my days
All my thoughts are appealing but I don't know what to feel in my bones
My flesh melts away every day I live in this town
Every blank face and every dim light street light frown I see around

I want you to make me struggle
Everything's so easy, I'm seeing double
But now I'm neutral here, floating in this bubble
Let the narcissism ensue, let me peak, and then I'll be back, I'll be troubled
Thinking about the hundreds of things you never said out loud, but mumbled

You freckle your face year after year until your age is near
Till the clarity of your face is crowded with fear

All your memories are scars of brown
Your face is like a galaxy
I look into it and see things that happened years before, and I could never know what you're thinking now
I could never get to know every little thing about you
I could never know you, I could never be what you want completely
Because that's a question not even you could answer
And it plagues me like brain cancer

Everybody's got a different definition of love
Everybody thinks you can only love once
But everybody's so different, how can you not see the possibility for love
How can you not see that one is not enough

You saved me on your desktop
A cyber purgatory every night
I see all your bits and all of your bytes
I'm tacked onto your back drop
Listening to all your lies and all your hiphop
Going through all your pictures, like the tinted frame of your sandy beach flipflops
And the guy you met at that party last night, the one that really hit it off

What am I to you?
Was I ever your addiction
Or was I just the drug that caused this confliction
Or was every word you spoke fiction

Why do I sing about you, you don't exist
You were just a figment of my imagination
Something I wrote, maybe it wasn't your novel at all
You were just someone I met, I never knew You were just part of the crowd
You were just one voice, I heard you, loud
They say you can only actually love a person once
Leaves my mind trailing through breakfast and lunch
With no decision by dinner, maybe a hunch
You were just someone I saw at night, you were my alcohol, you were my blood thinner

I'll never actually know you
You were my moonshine, and you were still
You didn't say anything, I spoke for you
I am god, I created you
You are the end of every line I write
You're the only one I see at night

Iron shackles never felt so good baby
Nothing ever felt sweeter than the fleet of your breeze
Chain me up, slash my knees
Come on baby, you be the bird ill be the bee      
You can hold my hand as we traverse the sea trying to escape this vanity
I've got the heart, you've got the key
Believe
  
And when my eyes become heavier than my heart
You can be the one to hang me up for heresy
You can keep me in the corner of your closeted heart
Your beak will run wild and mock me with parody
While I buzz through my life, with the weight of all my yesterday's
Maybe all the greed will open my eyes to see
Maybe this is the key, maybe I can finally be free

An hour of sleep per day, that's 3
I'm not asking for help, but please
I'm starting to see shadows and I can't tell if it's you
Can't tell if I'm even capable of seeing your hue
Somewhere on a scale of TV gray and simple blue
Gonna need more than shapes, going to need more than a clue

Heavy eyes drag me down
The only thing getting me through are the sounds
They were yours isn't that funny
The lack of Sun today is surprising
Meets my mood in a world where my mind is always running

Heavy eyes drag me down
But ******* trees will set me free
Nothing like the caffeine I get when I look at your face
Nothing like the feeling in my stomach after I finish that case
Momma always told me slow and steady, learn to pace
Sorry ma, her words were laced
And when she kissed me I fell **** faced

Where's the evidence
Help me find the fire
Erase my temper
Exhale the liar

Silence this highway
My ears are bleeding
Can't get anywhere on foot when everybody's driving a car
I'll never get anywhere, all this relativity is way too far

It was better when you never wrote me letters
God's sitting on clouds and chuckling under his breath
Saying isn't it funny how you need her now and she's the one you had to let go, you had to let go because you weren't any better

I'm on my knees, I'm not asking for help, but please
Where's the evidence
Help me find the fire
Erase my temper
Exhale the liar

My beards gettin' long, just been snoozin' it
Friends tellin' me you ain't been out, you losin' it
and they probably right, but I'm just cruisin' it
But all this grief is selling

Where's my mental, it's leaving, but I'm shaking like shingles, all my boys got me, but they ain't even know the half of it, and they couldn't, errybody so shallow all I see when I look at 'em is 8-bit, but **** nobody cares, they just trippin, but at least I got the ladies strippin, what a personality I've acquired, isn't that fitting

I'm ready to throw
Trying not to swerve but she ain't driving to steady
It's falling apart, but she's on the horizon
She looks so **** fine from head to heart
It's easy to lose your head when you're at stop a light
And you gotta start all over, rip it all apart, and put it back together, fallin' apart
Stop the car, I gotta walk through all this (from the start)

Silence is feeling when she gone (Where you been?)
Can't get out, I'm paler then a ******* goblin (Around)
All I think is bullets when I got my head next to this pistol (You haven't been out in three weeks man, what happened to that girl you were talking to)
Can't seem to drop it all, but I guess we'll see when my wrist folds (I don't know man, she seeing somebody else)
Where's she at all I want to do is hold her ******* (You're a ghost man, you gotta forget about that *****)
Gets a little violent in here, hold my beer hot mess (Yeah I know man, I'll catch you around)
Going through all the hypotheticals, but that **** ain't alphabetical (****)
How am I supposed to know how to get over you when all you do is make me ******* sick confess

**** I guess I'll just **** the pain away, but it only kills it while I'm in her, but when I finish it stays here
I'm cold, *****, you were the only thing that warmed me
But I guess you were just the mold cause you formed me
I'm a salesman now, let me know where the pretty ******* at
I could sell you something, leaving you alone in the morning with fingers ready to point blame - blame it on my ben folds, fat stacks and fame
******* ain't even play the game, I just leave em in shame
You just a fake, and you linger, all the same, all the same
But you're sticking with me so I guess it's just something in my head

Call me pathological, I dare you you ******* dame
But all I know is your sticking, I can here it echo, I hear it, it's your name
Paradox, like a ***** wearin' crocks (that's what we call a **** block)
Maybe I'm the one who's the same, but you had to erase me just to find my true colors, ******* were a fighter
In between all the arguments and ***, and silent netflix, you were something more, but I was too busy being me to find that out, you were my cigarette, I was the lighter, I lit you up for a while, but in the end I just smoked you out
Look at your pencil, It's dull and calloused like you were when I left you, all I was to you was a blank piece of paper and you were the writer

Calling it quits was easier than it should have seemed
But the nights were long when the river gleemed
And I invited her over and we made shadows taller than the characters on the tv screen

And her bones were sweet as they clashed into mine
There was no dinner, we didn't dine
Her fingers grasped me like the scent of pine
Her perfume was so sweet I couldn't draw the line

Eyes of hazel dancing in circles of brown and green
There was more behind that I wanted to see
But the night ended early and I didn't want to feel
Can't deny myself, can't lie to myself
You're the one who's helping me heal

I want to scale your body
But all you make me want to do is find out what you're thinking

What's going on behind those seizuring eyes
Did you swallow the pill, I can't find you inside my head
Watch your face change shape under the influence
Under rapid eyes that dart behind blinding seas of white

Shadows contour through colors I've never seen before
It's my world and I can't even find you
Your face is hidden behind a mask you wear in this 4th dimension
Where shapes convex your face into hexagon sugarlaced cinematics

I'm tripping right through the fractions of my life, my destination is infinity
I'm nil and nil, trying to find the love you saved for me in the games we play
My bicycles got 7 wheels and I'm only getting more lost in myself
Till I found seven men in seven trees and listened to the most romantic thing I've ever seen
And my ears saw the things I had forgotten and my heart found you for me
I was looking for you in my mind I never figured I could find you in my heart

I'm traveling the whole world
And I've seemed to miss South Caroline
Wish I could go, but that's nothing but a dream
You're in a sleepy state, but I guess I want to make up for the lost time we made
Then trying to hide the lights and fame beneath the shade of your frame
You'll make me a man, all the same, all the same
You'll have me calling your name South Caroline, South Caroline..
You'll have me at the point of a blame
I might look back into the night, but I'll never be ashamed
You'll make me another man, all the same, all the same
We're all hammered, who's even paying attention to the game?

I can't do nothing for too long, not with your body singing me songs
When every contour of your figure is embossing my wrongs
I've been looking to the stars for advice but your ambient shine pollutes the sky
I want to see the way, but the streets I follow are too **** unaligned
Grab me here, grab me there
Please don't leave me to my thoughts South Caroline
I'm half passed cloud nine

I've been grabbing your hair and your eyes are giving me a stare
Like when you're alone you'd rather be here
Like the city around you doesn't allow you to feel any fear
You're giving me highway signs, I'm on my way to South Caroline

Imagine a place
Suspended in time
Everyday's the same
But we're spending it differently

Let's toy with the stars
Get stuck in infinity with me
Kiss the ground
And live forever

I can feel the mass of your heart
As it pulls me in
I can feel the passing of the cars
As you grasp my arm

Can't see a thing
But I feel your hot breath
And the stars begin to scream
Your eyes are planets
They are beams
They're pouring into me

"Everything before us has put us here," I say
"How I met you here in a sea of people, it's like I've had faith, it feels like something I could only pray."
I say, "If there's any falter in the skies, any mishaps on this earth, that have caused our existences to clash, I'm happy for them and everything that caused them."
"When I look at you I learn more about myself, and when you talk it strikes a match inside of me. It's the warmest feeling I've ever felt."
"The wars, the massacres, the deaths, the scars, the endless drinks at every bar, they've led to this darling."
"I hope one day you can see the things that I see."
"I hope one day you believe in you and me."

I know that death is a part of life
But why does it seem like a shadow with every strife
Where is the end, why are we living
Are we ready to be adults yet

It's hard to live and let live when you
Love and can't let go
It's hard to grow when you know you're getting closer
To and fro the end is a mystery

You can't make rights nor wrongs
You can only make history
What works for me
Doesn't work for you
But why do we care if we never make it through

I want to love you and let go
Never want to grow up
Never want to be left alone
If history's all we can make
Then I want to be known

Skidding across green waters
Feet like projectiles
Mind seas of the west Nile
Delta ideas pouring through sands as they falter

Yes, I'm a bit troubled
The belief is there is no beliefs to be had
But only ideas passed and doubled
Lock it away in your brainsafe, lad
Can't do it when I'm the only one with the code
Lost in the winter and the cold huddled
It's the only pain killer I have

Everybody's picked apart in here
Not prejudice but constantly pre judging
I'd like to think it's a weapon for self defense
Break it down till everyone's predictable
Condense, haven't had a break from these thoughts since
I forced all those sheep over the fence
Hence all I can do is dream, attempts

Dilute me and drink me up, everything I do  is to cover up
Muffle your voice with brain noises, passive aggressive shut the **** up
I wanna know you, but first I need to know me
It's your turn, tell me how guilty you are
Tell me about who you are under all of your scars

I'm on autopilot
So I can talk to myself
Stop trying to hack into me
I need the space
Maybe I'll never come out
But if you break the circuit
Between me and my robot
You're not going to like what you see

There's a connection buzzing in the back of my earpiece
I can hear static voices trying to reach through to me
But I don't know how to tune the connection
I'm not even looking for the dial

So I threw your voice against the wall
It's always been hard when you're in a hole
I'm trying to guide this plane, but I'm just descending
Never thought I'd need a co-pilot
Never thought I'd hear again

Till I heard your voice speaking from the corner of my room, "I love you"
When I'm naked on the ground, confused
You taught me how to walk again, you gave me shoes
This is seven-twenty-seven three to ground control, I think I'm going to be okay

I met you in a sea of people
Makes me feel like it's real
I can't really tell now
Guess I just gotta take some time to heal

Anywhere in between the throwaway poems
And the melancholy music
Where my bed becomes my home
I'm losing it
Just when I thought I had you

The mornings become long when
Your tongues running dry
And you're not thirsty
For anything other than a numb
And I'm, I'm trying to pick up the crumbs
But the floor boards grow farther apart everyday

We're getting older faster
And history is last year
I fear I'm losing time darling
I can't even tell if a future of you and I is near

It's an odd feeling to not know if you're willing to wait for the future
Or have it taken away in your sleep
A freak accident, an existential leap
I want those chemicals to tell me I'm going somewhere more
Then here
What a high it would be, all that DMT
In you brain, just slipping through the seams

And here I fiddle my thumbs
Indulging myself in nostalgic songs
Where do I find the time
To redo all my rights and wrongs
Think it's bout time I get out of bed
Before the only thing I have left is my head

What's going on with me
What's this body
What's this head
Old personality's dead
Got stuck up in being you
And now were through
What's going on with you
What is this anyways

There's reflections of coffins
In your eyes
The medallion you wear reminds me
of the wolf in your heart
Grizzly with passion
Will push anything aside
That beautiful anger you've bred

I breathe you in
But you're an airborne pathogen
I take you in under my skin
It's the only way I could let you in
You may be no good for me
But that's something I don't talk about
It belongs to a list of things I don't want to see

You're an Idol to me
You make me bend at the knees
The most beautiful of chemistries

Light a blue incense cause that's just the way I'm feelin'
Think I should hang something on my walls
Maybe It'll help me forget

The way your eyes held mine
They remind me of the grass
Helps me forget all the hassle

Your hearts wearing armor, I can here it when
You climb on top of me
Just trying to learn to love and let free
It's just not that easy
With the way you're looking at me

And now you're gone like the impossible
Like what I think about when we die
If we were to be separated by space-time
And you're your own universe
And I haven't found a wormhole

My temples are turning into ruins
My brain is churning into fluid
Can't comprehend your post modern physics
Feels like I'm being bombarded by playback ballistics

I'm a broken record but I wish you'd still spin me

Mom, dad, you were really good at pretending you were
I thought that we were cookie cutter family before I knew what I know about you now
I never really thought I had any kind of issues with you
Never really thought I'd ever have any kind of issues to conceal under this house
I feel like I can see your true colors now, but sometimes I think they're colors I could never comprehend, it all just makes me want to leave town

I know you've done a lot for me dad, you care, you really do, but you're losing control of your own emotions
I can't even talk to you, and I wish all the phone calls weren't awkward, and I know I'll have to call you today too, and act like everything isn't already eroding
How can I keep my cool after all the bad news
It's hard to follow in your steps, when you don't even have shoes
I'd like to say the things you said would just leave a bruise
But they left a scar, and no matter what you do you're still going to lose

If you ever go back you'll see things aren't the same, and everything that happens is just chemical, so no matter what happens it's meant to be, but you never even tried to make the best of it here, you never accepted that destiny before your feet
You can say you had your life ripped away from you, but you think it was easy for me?
When we got here I was abused, for the first couple years I didn't have any real friends, and was socially abused
I'm kind of glad that happened though, because I'm happy with who I am, and I think that all that ******* was worth something too
You have to take everything that happens and make it the best you can, if you don't try that Dad, then what's your plan
Please, I'd like to know, what cards have you got in your hand?
You're not even playing the game, I suppose 'you're not a fan'

You can blame anybody you want to for your life, but you make your own decisions in the end
And even though you might have made the right one, it wasn't the best one for you and your end's
All it was, was making end's meet, never enjoying life, all you ever did was take a seat
Watch all my year's fly by with a breeze
You can't make up for that, and I'm going to make sure I don't make the same mistake
If I died trying to be happy, then so be it, it was meant to be
I will never make the same mistake, the biggest lesson you ever taught me was unintentional
Everything just taught me how to see things you could never see

I love you, but I hate not being independent
I feel stuck with you when you're gone
And free when you're here
But you'll be back baby, the school years almost here
There's nothing to fear darling, we're in this together dear

I'm trying to sing my heart out, but the notes sound a bit confused
It sounds like my past, because my heart's been a bit bruised
Good thing about those bruises is they faded, I'll never forget though, that's how we learn darling, though
Sometimes this summer can feel a little jaded
When I'm trying to act like I'm fine, I could tell you I'm becoming a bit chraraded
Taking who I am, taking it, and grenading it

It's all part of falling, your adrenalines up here, and the winds blowing through your hair, just hold on, don't ever hit the ground
Even when you're feeling a bit confounded
All the memories around you are surrounding, ghosts around you shrouding
Just take them to the grave, you're brave dear, don't let it be crowding near

We'll be alright at the end of this summertime drought
So don't you pout, cause the clouds may look a bit dark now but the new season will bring rain and reason
The way you feel, don't deem it as treason, it's easy to drift, just lift your chin up, girl, endure the season, with me.

There's a hole in my stomach
Everything I swallow gets stuck inside of me
All the cheap drinks and the whispers that escape your fragile smile
All the lies inbetween the kitchen tiles

A ghost from my past is playing with fire like an iconoclast
And I'm trying on a new identity, yeah I'm looking through my wardrobe for a different one everyday

Seems like the only thing the music critics see is new adjectives to leave
You're the prettiest puppet I've ever seen
But somebody else is pulling the strings
They're the one making all your words sing

My pockets been spent, but I forgot my wallet was in it
I lost all my power, now I'm mute every time you throw a fit
You're angry because your mind has become a cinema of hypothetical skits
Because you're thinking about it at night, and in morning with your oatmeal and grits
Trying to knit together a torn pocket, you're sitting where you sit, the only thing you've ever done about it is gotten lit
It just keeps tearing apart, you're tearing apart, you're getting sick of it

Yeah you're stuck in the stars
Somewhere in between betelgeuse and mars
All the aliens look up, and they see images of themselves being pulled apart
Branding themselves with vowels and constantly reminding themselves of the meaning they found in the stars

It's a constellation nation
Attributing stars to martians
That's who you are
Blue summer, I can see you from afar
All the thoughts you thought in your space car
In your fantastic flying saucer

I can hear your voice inside static static
Bouncing in between my ears like melted plastic plastic
The thoughts I have are becoming masochistic
Scraping my brain like physics of your friction
You're a space cherub, you're my mystic

Come on Virgo, dance with the stars
I know you love Jesus, but just wait till you take a ride in my space car
Listen to my alien tunes as we rip space time apart
We can go anywhere, but all I know is were going far

I think you think to much without doing
And when you're on the brink of it, it's enduring

It comes to you in a different light, but you're on auto pilot and that's the flight
Till you land and if you lost your sight, you can't let yourself think anything but that you're the one who's always right

Let's believe that you're okay, that's the impression you give off when you pretend to pray
There's something you know you want, but all the delegates vote praise nay
So fragile flower won't you let love and lay
Stop thinking so much, just give praise to every day

It's funny my phone started dying after I read that, like it knew how I felt
Like all the things unsaid were now said, but were still unsatisfactory
And I wanted you to say more and more was always too much for you
And it'd be too much for me if I had a filter anyways

Tell me I'm going too far because I can't
Tell me I'm everything you want, because part of me wants to become something you shant
Because it's perfect for you, but I know you've got pockets full of sand
You try to grab on but everything sifts through your hands

Sleep on sleep on, so I can pretend you live alongside while I dream on, dream on your bedside
Tease me until we're unsatis factories

Plead on naysayer
Like the pride of a mouth breather
Calloused like the fringe of a broken guard rail
You're sharp, and your halfwit isn't enough to keep a light lit
But you're clever and you're under my skin with your blood *****
Have you gotten close enough to check my pulse yet?
Tell me what it says, I'm sure it's morse code for something
Because It's been speaking to me in languages I've never heard of, but based on the hurt I've taken bets
Risky guesses better then what the wind lets
If I let go it'd take me back to limbo
Where the rats and the people scurry all the same, it'd take me somewhere, I don't know
I've let you pull me apart to climb inside to take a tour of my heart
To let you punch me so hard, something on the other side would come out as a show of art
Like a line of blow to the nose, the rows of the pews awe align
To make a sound so hurtful, not even your father would turn to give an eye
Embarrassed I let you tear me apart, just because I wanted to know what was inside
I can't say a word, but two, and all they are is good bye

I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow I say
Leave me, leave me in bed, motionless to lay
There's too much going on in my head
It's turning every black and every white into gray

Chaos cripples my feet like the dead of the night
Everything that was once in my grasp is out of my sight
They tell me it's self humiliation
But I'd like to disagree, I'd like to say it's self retaliation

The parting of the seas between a mind so split already only creates a slightly different replica of me
And then I'm one layer deeper
I can't find the way out, and the more I think about it, and the more I try to separate myself from the things that make me, I get farther away, now I can't even see the sea

So if you ever see that sea, plunge into it for me.

Save me.

I never knew myself till I met you
Because I noticed how much of me has become a part of you
I loved connecting with a person so different
Until I realized the difference became the same
And the frame became askewed
And I saw that you weren't you, but a part of me was inside of you
And that's why I wandered away so long ago, with out a clue

It's the way he touched you
You hated him but loved it
It's all the things we can't talk about
Breathing behind the blinds of your closet, and in the darkest parts of your head  

Mangled in your memories
Caught in the middle of your dark fantasies
You love him but it feels so **** good to feel different
Hiding in another man's bathroom on your knees  
What he won't know won't hurt him, but it'll hurt his insecurities              
  
You won't say a word but the media and the magazine's are yelling at him
He's pouring his scotch just to find a friend, and it's a lot like his mind when it's alone, it's pouring over the brim  
Cascading into mountains flying over top his head

You're a desperate little doll just stuck in your thoughts
Cowarding in the corner of your room hiding behind all the things you bought, to make you feel better
His income is incoming but his do's are doubts and shame
Everything's warmer near the fire, but the warmth will drive you crazy when you catch aflame

You're stuck inside a telephone booth and the copper wire's split
It's everything you want to say, it's all the things hidden underneath your beard that's turning it gray
Sometimes it's better to blow the flame out, but you'd rather stay lit

How have I been concious this whole time
I've been driving but I don't remember it, caffeinated eyes, too much on my mind
It was better when my thoughts were more closely knit
When I wouldn't lose myself and I could just throw a fit

Those were the days before the days of death and decay, maybe even back when I would pray
But I don't believe in Jesus or his dad
See he's been dead for a while now, "my bad"
Otherwise he would have intervened, unless he got mad
His omnipotent chi, is turning into an omnipotency, if a consciousness can create everything then why can't I if I can see
I am god, can't you see the light I give off when I allow you to breathe?

Must not be, because my whole life's been a fight
I guess I better pull over and wrong all my rights
Maybe it would have changed my course in life, wouldn't that have been a sight?

If God needs them up there, then I must not need them in my life
Sorry Gary, I'm so selfish for wanting you here
I know you were in pain, and you were in fear
Just miss the talks we used to have over a couple of beers (queer)

I remeber the call like it was yesterday
Your daughter, my bestfriend since my freshman year, called me with tears on her mind, calm and uncollected with shock running through her like her heart monitor couldn't find the rhyme

I said what's wrong and she told me to sit down, she told me you took your life and I couldn't even wrap my head around the idea, you, gone, how did he do it, did he drown?! You wouldn't, you never, you didn't. I replied you're kidding me right, and she didn't respond, and you were.. you weren't there, I know you had gang green man, but you just quit the fight? How do I explain that feeling man, I can't even vent if I can't decode my own speechless rant.

It left your wife heaving, I listened to it every night. Your son will never forget the morning he walked in on your body and couldn't even fathom your death when he never saw you leaving

And Brittany, she loved you, there's  nothing more in life she wanted then to see you when she graduated from basic

I'll never forget the night I helped your son Andrew carry that chair down the stairs with his hands trembling from the thought of it, he'd seen so much blood he'd rather see in gray, and I played it cool because I loved them just like I love you, and the saddest part is for some sick reason I forgive you.

Life is fragile, they tell you about that when you're little, but you never really realize that till it's found you
Like the world shattered into something more real, and it's coming to find and drown you

All the old folks
Spricking and spracking
Over there coffee, so thick and bold
Talking about all the small business' roles
Disbanded their diner, for that cheap coffee over at 'ol McDonald's home

Contoured, oblique, I'm a freak
What is it you seek, secret terrorist, anymore than the least?
You know all my skeletons, you know my ******
Don't play doppelganger on my checkered personality
Finding me under the smoke Inbetween cheap cigars
Prowling in between all the bottles, all those empty clanking sounds
Smoking out till my lungs expand and breath in some new air
Crowded in the foundation of how I think, that's when you were supposed to come along
But if I asked for it, the originality would melt away in the fragile density of a throng
          
I told you Red, the songs are not enough
You need another love in life
An S.O.S. - a significant others song to make your melody complete

And I told you Black, you've got great advice, but when are you going to intervene?
I said I'm ready for you Black,
Why are you always hiding in the dark?

I said, I said Red you'll never stop bleeding, I can't help you with that
You'll always be crass, it's part of you, Red
You're the brass chassis and I'm what holds true within, you're always gonna rust, but you'll never change the way you care, love, and trust

We're blood, Red, reputation precedes our feet
Everything's already happened
Why do we care
Here Zac, just take a seat

Why do you do this to me?

To feel this sad means you must have at once felt so happy.

Isn't that comforting?