Shimmer bright
Little light
Unbeknownst to themselves

Shining in solitude
Silent orbit
Alone together
Unbeknownst to themselves

Then they collide
Explode into a million colours
Cosmic beauty
Kaleidoscope

Everyone said
Transform
Your Pain into Art
Pluck it
From your throbbing heart
Delicately
Run your ring finger
Across pure white canvas
Create picture-perfect potraits.

But not I
For my pain
Spills from somewhere dark within
My agony
Overflows like a dam burst
Dark crimson stains
On plain white canvas
Morbid decor
Crimson lashings
Intertwine
Like thorny vines to a
Blood red rose.

The distance between us
On some days
Was nose to nose--
So close
I could hardly breathe,
Terrified of shattering
This miraculous moment.
On some nights
Galaxies away.

I thought
Chasing after you
I could close the gap
Between us
But some nights
Like tonight
You
Are a bright speck
Glowing in the night sky
Millions of miles from
Me.

Reminded myself
Not to immerse
In love
That sweet nectar
That poisonous trap.

Knew I had
To love myself
First,
Repeated it like a mantra
But you
Come in waves
Of affection and care
Envelop me
In joy
Like a bed of flowers.

Alas,
You
Are a scarlet rose
With thorns
Akin to my passionate love
And I,
A fool,
Am addicted to
Your lingering fragrance.

You
And I,
Prideful white daffodils,
Keep our blooming feelings
Hidden in a box with a lock
Waiting
For the other
To confess.

Stepping into 2019
Purposefully,
I recall the tumultuous
Year of 2018.

2018
Joy and despair intertwined
A sadistic rollercoaster
Up then down
My heart
Breaking then healing.
How I longed
To scrub my imperfections clean
Raw, painful
How I begged
To start afresh
Free of regrets.

2019
I prayed
Will be brighter
A second chance.
To the parts of me I hated
A gentle kiss
I will gift.
To the broken little girl
I let down
I hereby vow
To never
Shove her behind anyone else.

As the golden gates
To 2019 opens,
Into the warm light
I leap.

You march on
steadily ahead
As I silently
Follow,
Your guardian angel
Your Nobody.

How powerless
"I love you" is
Just words,
My feelings
So passionate,
E v  a   p     o     r      a        t         e
Before they reach
You.

Love is
A four-letter word,
They say,
Filled with the sweetest honey
Pretty as a pearl
Two people fitting
Like perfect puzzle pieces.

But truly,
Love is
Undefinable:
How I adore your teeth
Crooked from a fall at six
The way your gaze softens
As flecks of gold embrace my hair
In the sunlight.

I want
To caress your soul
Slide my fingers beneath your skin
Soft like velvet.
I want
To be the cloud that hides you
Selfishly depriving the world of
Your sunlight.

Love is
Not a four-letter word
But a starburst
Of emotions and affection
Of wordless concern and care
And that glass of water
That night in June
As my tears silently fell.