Contemplation of what is my reality ,
fascination within these four walls.
A mess ,mockery ,creation, desperation.
written across the four walls of my psyche ,
Push, Heave, Shove,
try all you like you wont get in.
Pressed against the wall
with all my capacity trying to create a door,
So someone, anyone can come in
i don't need saving
i need someone to publicize whats locked
all amongst these four walls.

Often to quickly we make decisions
This might be the case ,
We are only human
The decision to find yourself alone,
The realization
You cannot find yourself
Alone
You need your other half
You need support
You need the fall back
You need your love.

swindling the air of its delight
using Cannabis pipes,
i have never written high
i finally understand why,
pen to paper
all i can write "cigarette break",
cannabinoid receptors
putting my mind on brink,
My feet get heavy as i start to float
my stress anchors me down,
like a twinkling eye of a magpie
drawn to the red sparks of the spliff,
Grilled,
Baked,
chasing the magic dragon.

A-L-C-O-H-O-L-I-C
strange world we live in,
Two letters
separate the poison
from the poisoned.
I-C
i suppose we all try see
yet we fail to believe it ,
we work every moment for them
until the alcohol becomes
the **A-L-C-O-H-O-L-I-C.

Oh if you knew what it meant to me
the fall of faith and not religion
the human race has lost all,
Faith is that of dreams
it fills my night terrors.

We are a broken species
mercy is seen as weakness
it is treated like terrible diseases.
I just want to be seen,
Seen for me
Not my prescription

Only the departed whisper...
Oh if you knew what it meant to me.
Gone is me
stainless, sharp and metallic,
Breaks my taught flesh
leaving a red drip.

It spirals amongst the water encasing me,
Hoping no one will find me
**Praying someone knew what it meant to me.