Oh teddy bear, just look at that stare
you sit on my bed with not a care
never complain when I squeeze to tight
don't steal the covers at all in the night
you're covered in lots of my salty tears
from heartbreak and pain throughout the years
you're not as soft as you were at the start
but I'm glad my mom put you in her shopping cart
thanks for your service but now that I'm 30
you're still a good bear but you're just a bit *****

I cannot decide
though many times I've tried
is it more frustrating
this stupid one way hungering
to love a specific man
to have had him in your hand
and now he's gone away
and you wait for the day
when he will return
and you forget about the burn
or is it worse
does it feel more like a curse
to hunt and hunt and see
each new face could it be he
each time you're given eyes
is he the one to end your tries
no I cannot decide
though many times I've tried
if more strength is required
or which makes you more tired
to wait and wait and hope and hope
to try to believe and cling to that rope
or to search and look and try out the new
and hope that you'll find your one love true?
waiting and hoping
or searching and groping
looking for love is a frustrating thing
it's best to just stop, and see what God brings

Bitter feelings tears are falling
But you have to listen to that calling
When you leave the one you love
because you felt lead from above
sometimes He will take and hide you
when you don't know just what to do
the easy life is not the one
a heavy heart can weigh a ton
God will always make a way
if you will just get down and pray
when you find that all you're chasing
with the time that you've been wasting
didn't turn out how you hoped for
and left you always wanting more
you were looking in wrong places
putting hope in pretty faces
security isn't money in the bank
and you forget it's God to thank
when you feel safe because you're married
and you don't realize you've been carried
the perfect house with the big yard
you forget again to thank the Lord
Emptiness is always haunting
every day starts to seem daunting
Fix your eyes on what's ahead
that Jesus rose up from the dead
if you will just put hope in him
and let go of all the dragging sin
impossible becomes obsolete
then life starts to be really sweet

Blessing abound in my poetry found
there's beautiful flowers all over the ground
the spring time is here and there goes the fear
the sun has come out to dry all our tears
God is so great and not full of hate
you can turn to Him now, it's never too late
spring is for birth and filling with mirth
as baby animals roam around all the earth
so go out and breath in or go for a swim
now is the time to let go of your sin
joy will find you in the vast ocean blue
and you can be free of what hold you back too
so let go of the sting of rejection that clings
go out and have courage and try that new thing
you can be free if you just want to be
limitless is how He created you and me

twisting and turning all muddled about
my brain.. there's no ending I can't find the route
there's no path to follow that leads to the next
like trying to make sense of a foreigner's text
things are all tangled and covered in sauce
its difficult to figure out who is the boss
hard to look good when it's all on your face
like trying to demand you belong in your place
respect is something that is earned and not taken
a good leader can always admit he's mistaken
fear, regret, resentment, anger and hate
its hard to respect when that's all on your plate
respect goes both ways and you get what you give
it all starts with you if you want peace to live
if both of you hold on to all of the bad
then you will both end up very sad
fill your heart with forgiveness and love
pray and ask for some help from above
then you may end up cooking spaghetti together
a step towards something that can stand any weather

Heaven is a place where there is no time
Where you're never late and there's always wine
Heaven is a place where the jobs don't ****
Where you never have to stick your hands in guck
Heaven is a place where babies don't cry
Where husbands and wives never cheat and lie
Heaven is a place with no disease
Where nobody gets stung by bees
Heaven is place with lots of food
Where it's also ok if you like to be ****
Heaven is a place where we don't get tired
Where we don't have bosses and we won't get fired
Heaven is a place where there is no dust
Where allergy pills are not a must
Heaven is a place where there is no cleaning
Where nothing we do is ever demeaning
Heaven is a place where we don't have to worry
Where there's no loved ones we have to bury
Heaven is a place where animals can talk
Where lions and lambs will together walk
Heaven is a place where we're never cold
Where our human bodies won't grow old
Heaven is a place where there is no trash
Where we won't have to sell junk to make more cash
Heaven is a place where we're never weak
Where no one is ever afraid to speak
Heaven is a place where hearts don't break
Where we don't have to feel that consuming ache
Heaven is a place where we're never alone
Where everyone here has found a home
Heaven is a place where there is no fear
Where you're truly alive, 'cause He's always near

I made up this thing after I read the first
and thought I would add my own little verse
10 ways a husband can add value to his life
and make sure he takes good care of his wife
the first is respect, yes it goes both ways
if you respect her, you'll have much happier days
the second is listen to her when she speaks
even when it seems like she'll go on for weeks
if you listened the very first time around
maybe you could avoid having to hear the sound
of her rambling on about it again and again
driving you to want to commit some bad sin
create a safe place so she won't feel judged
or you may start hearing a "truth" that is fudged
be honest with her in all that you do
because women can sniff out any clue
if you think you have pulled the wool over her eyes
sorry, but trust me, you haven't, guys
the fifth one is lead, and do it with care
don't be a tyrant or cruel or unfair
our first boss is God, and if you're not in line
you can see our obedience start to decline
so lead by example and lead from love
and you will have God's help with us from above
Serve is for both a husband and wife
this will create a happier, love-filled life
both of you share in the cooking and cleaning
always be helpful and never demeaning
husbands are called to be joyful too
nobody can handle someone always blue
it drains on your soul and drags you both down
then your married to a face that's stuck in a frown
pray for her, she needs God's help too
after all, she is married to you!
surely I jest, but all jokes aside
ask God to help your beautiful bride
Nine is one I don't need to tell men
but just to utter it once again
having *** with your wife isn't just for you
make sure she gets something out of it too
*** is a love sacrifice and not just a gift
and it's great for repairing a marriage rift
affirm the good things that you see in your wife
it's true what they say, happy wife happy life
positivity is important for all
and all those things add up, big or small
trying to do this on our little strength
will only cause stress and worry at length
now that you know how God wants you to love
ask for help with all this from above

Well, I rode into town with a stiff wooden knee
on my ship that was falling apart on the sea
an eye patch of black and beard to my knees
I laid down and stared up at the green palm trees

my crew was all mad and the food was all gone
but what can I say? I'm no Captain Ron
they chased me on deck until we ran aground
then I lied and said there was treasure to be found

I'm selfish and soiled, a pirate I be
I'm smarter and hotter than old Mr. Smee
now my crew's all drunk and they're eating some fish
staring up at the stars I am making a wish

I scratch at my eye patch and pull out my pen
trying to ignore the farting stinking men
they don't know I'm a girl and for me that works great
because if they knew then I would fear my fate

but I have a plan and they'll all fall in line
or they will be stranded 'cause that ship is mine
I'm meaner than them and I'm great with a sword
it's why they all hang on my every word

when tomorrow starts up a hangover morning
I will get their attention and give them a warning
If they chase me around the deck ever again
they will lose their reason to call themselves men!

But I realize I'm angry and that's just not fair
'cause when push comes to shove, well they all do their share
when there's towns to be pillaged and ships to attack
well these dog ***** scoundrels they all have my back

the creak of the ship and the waves on the sand
I really don't like it when I'm stuck on land
I'm Captain Fearless, and now that we've met
I know it is something you'll never forget.

You are ******* up, but I am too
everybody tells me not to love you
I see myself reflected in your blue eyes
I hear myself speaking in all of your lies
I feel myself connected to your heart
even when we're on oceans far apart
I see the anger and hurt in your soul
girls want to change you that is their goal
to fix you because you're so broken inside
then to run off and be somebody else's bride
You are not a damaged project to me
you're just the guy that I love, can't you see?
I feel like we are so much the same
so it baffles me why we're still playing this game
with me I know you can be totally free
and with you I just want to also be me

roaring engines with wind in my hair
so happy that I'm sitting next to you there
driving the boat just as fast as you can
tattooed arms, you're such a **** man
grin on my face that matches my heart
you couldn't even tell that we are apart
giant barracudas in the glittering sea
first time we've done something fun, you and me
the sea plants were waving as we passed them by
you swim so fast it's like you can fly
we scouted and searched through fishes galore
because what we're looking for was something more
we finally came up to that peaceful place
a statue of Jesus with his upturned face
He lifts up his hands from the watery deep
Praying to the Father, our hearts to keep
My hope is in Him because it's not in you
you did flirt with me today, though, that is true
but if I were to leave our love in your future plan
then all would be lost because you're just a man
He may have been sunk at the bottom of the sea
and you've been on a pedestal that was put there by me
but He is the one that gave us this day
this day that was filled with fun, hope, and play
so I'm taking you down from that stand that you're on
I think you'll be happier beside me, now that it's gone.

I'm so angry I cut off an ear!
I'm so sad in denial and fear
I'm so happy and cocky and free
everyone should all be looking at me
walking on water, my faith is so strong
but it never seems to last me too long
ups and downs and ins and outs
smiles and laughter, then tears and pouts
why am I such an emotional mess
do you know who I am? I'll give you one guess.
I'm Peter, the disciple that followed the Lord
Who loved Jesus, right down to my core
hot tempered and passionate, all over the place
but Jesus was patient, love shown from His face
He took an emotional, and hot-blooded dude
spouting off at a slight, and who may have been rude
He saw the potential, strong man I could be
and never once did He ever give up on me
He built his whole church on this foundation
showing us anybody can enjoy His salvation
If your ups are real high and your downs are so low
and you can't seem to be happy wherever you go
if you're out of control and don't know what to do
Just ask Jesus, and He can help your moods too

Valentines for some may mean candy, flowers, rings
attention, love, and laughter, and lots of shiny things
Valentines for others may be a day to dread
the desperate and the lonely, who only want to wed
Valentines for some is a piece of Roman history
but much like real life love, it's a bit of a mystery
Valentines for others holds no joy at all
frantic restaurant workers or a nurse that is on call
Valentines in the end is really just a day
another one the Lord has made, whatever comes my way

Coming down in torrents wild
screaming raging like a child
stormy winds they whip outside
matching storms within I cried
a broken heart when does it end
all that I want is for it to mend
nothing prepared me for this pain
so I sit here and listen to the rain
it's running down my window case
just like it's streaming down my face
heart is wrenched completely shattered
all the pieces wind blown scattered
whipped on breezes left behind
I watch them like I do not mind
the numbness starts to settle in
but then it all begins again
it's like a storm that never stops
I just miss the mountain tops
to peak above the gloom I feel
and see the hope and know it's real
I know that this will pass someday
so I will always stop and pray
for all who ask they will receive
a broken heart mends if you believe.

Pitter patter little snow
how I love the way you go
so unique in my delight
floating down and taking flight
I haven't seen your little dance
since I've been in the State of no pants
all I saw was shorts and flops
and little skirts and tiny tops
there's just no snow in some places
except what goes up some faces
that is not the snow for me
but laying silent beneath the tree
this blanket cold and crystalline
boards jumping like a trampoline
hollers hoots and happy guys
crisp and perfect clear blue skies
pine tree smells and rushing air
snowboarding without a care
breath of freshest oxygen
this day it was a perfect 10

He heals the broken hearted and sets the captive free
I know this to be true, because He's done so much for me
I cried I giant puddle, till I had no more tears
some are broken for a month, I was broken down for years
to shut out the whole world, I hardened up my heart
and then I let one in, and he shattered it apart
but Jesus picked me up from the broken place inside
where I had run away, to isolate and hide
He showed me how to grow, and fill the holes with Him
and let go of my past, and turn away from sin
He showed me how to live, and what I had to gain
He took away my hurt and fear and washed away my pain
He put loving people in my life to bolster up my hope
and He showed me happy is a choice, now I don't want to mope
we think that when we win, we'll be happy and be free
but actually, victory comes, because you chose happy
so next time you make the choice to curse God and complain
instead ask Him to help you make something good from pain

Boats and more boats around this marina
thank goodness none of us got caught in Katrina
big boats and small boats, they're really yachts
the giant, fun toys of people with lots
gambling, eating and sitting by pools
lifeguards yell at kids to follow the rules
turquoise the waters of sparkling seas
it's so pretty here with it's cheerful palm trees
the waves lap up gently on crystal white sand
there's dolphins out playing in sight of land
a manatee swam right up to the dock
and nobody here is checking their clock
a turtle was swimming slow and relaxed
a bikini model lay out all freshly waxed
massages and facials, yoga and gyms
healthy and happy fulfilling their whims
a jet ski flies by and they holler in fun
everybody out getting their dose of the sun
by evening and rambunctious music parade
if you vaycay here then your life's really made

Hills of emeralds strewn about
the end of hell's torturous drought
calm and peaceful starry sky
storm clouds struggling slowly die
coyotes sound their distant calls
the deepest rumbling waterfalls
waves lap up on flattened sand
the tempest stilled at His command
earth shaking instability
peace and soft tranquility
raging fire hot and starving
flashing floods are canyon carving
mist rising from a morning pond
breeze blowing through a palm tree frond
peace and chaos intertwined
woven deep within our mind

Reflecting shimmering as I look at you
you're me I see, but somehow there are two
one of them's wild, and reckless, and free
one thinks too much, can't just let things be
the first one travels and jumps off of stuff
the second works hard so there is enough
there must be a balance but I don't know where
so torn between you I'm pulling out my hair
I want nice things and a beautiful home
but I don't want to be stuck and not free to roam
I want a good job that I love and is "me"
like writing a book in a house in a tree
but the other me wants to make some money
and actually be taken somewhat seriously
decisions decisions as I try to "grow up"
but I'm Peter Pan and I'm totally stuck
If I give up my fun side and go for the money
I might be trapped where it never gets sunny
but if I give up the cash and chase after the sun
might have to work till I'm 90, and that isn't fun
one of you's brains and one of you's heart
which one is right? I don't know where to start
my heart has lead me to adventures untold
but my brain wants to know what else can unfold
i've followed my heart and she's struggled so long
my brain wants to taunt her and say she was wrong
as they stare at each other like strange cats in a path
the heart full of love and the brain full of wrath
the heart's always won, should the brain get a turn?
if I do that i'm scared we will watch the world burn
but if its the heart that I follow this time
am I just doomed to repeat this dumb rhyme?
insanity's the same thing again and again
expecting that maybe this time I will win
so maybe it's time to change up this story
and go for the "****" and the guts and the glory
one day I know that the two will entwine
then I won't have to choose 'tween my heart and my mind

He opens His mouth and what you hear
is words that calm your heart of fear
His face his gentle, bright blue eyes
He never tells you pretty lies
He listens when you have something to say
Never gets tired of hearing 'bout your day
He comforts you when you are super sad
and calms you down when you're raging mad
When you're all alone and start to cry
He comes around 'cause He's your guy
When you just can't win and all is lost
Just remember He died on the cross
sometimes a victory's disguised as defeat
But then He rose up again, isn't that neat?
So, if miracles are what you're waiting for
then just be patient and see what's in store
For all those who pray and ask and believe
It's been promised to them, that they will receive
He's not just concerned with our afterlife
He loves and He helps us with all of our strife
So cast all your cares on His big broad back
Especially when your life is all out of whack
Because that is the time when you need Him most
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost

Happy hopeful little words
like twitterpated little birds
skipping like a flattened stone
dripping like an ice cream cone
bubbles floating on the breeze
sparkling like the deep blue seas
fluffy soft with wagging tail
silent green of wooded trail
through the clouds in rays of sun
unsteady legs of life begun
windswept snowy mountain tops
spit of sand with palm tree copse
rushing river with rocky sides
holding tight on sand dune rides
soaring high on feathered wing
angels voices start to sing
beauty in things great and small
relief when I surrender all

White. Solid white nothing else in sight
the glasses the little house wore awakening from night
the promise of a sun as the white grew very bright
stretching from a long nap the green giant finally reveals himself
laughing rumble of tumbling rocks as he wears the white a temporary mustache
a big yawn from lady lake sends the white upward with her morning breath
Bursting out in gloriousness the sun glares the sulking fog into submission
he slinks downward thinking to find solace near the gentle water reflecting his image back to himself
lady lake has other plans as she stares up at her true love high in the sky and chooses his image to reflect, warming her loving gaze with the heat of his as he stares down at her.
Their love finally warms to the point that Foggy Mcdougal can take it no longer and shrinks away with his nefarious plans for the next evenings delight

I went on a dark and bitter road
carrying with me a giant load
of anger, fear, and huge regret
and things I wanted to forget
relationship dissolved in fights
so I had to book some flights
to escape my mistake
when I had finally come awake
to see that there was no love here
filled me up with giant fear
I spread that fear all around
by air and sea and on the ground
drowning in puddles of my tears
Jesus reached down through my fears
He took my chin and raised my eyes
but I latched onto unhealthy guys
I prayed and prayed and pushed my way
But God said no, so I couldn't stay
this brought me to a choice, you see
do I trust Him or be angry?
I didn't get the thing I wanted
which could have left me lifelong haunted
Instead I chose to have some faith
not to try to play it safe
All the things I've ever tried
and all the stupid tears I've cried
have lead me to this place I see
where Jesus just wants to love me
When He said no, it was for my good
and now I'm in a much happier mood!
He brought me to battles I couldn't face
took me on runs I couldn't race
He put walls up I couldn't climb
and ran down clocks till out of time
so He could guide me along the way
to a beautiful, and happy day
because His plans for us are great
and with Him, it's never too late!
You won't be happy when you win
so you can go right back to sin
you win when you are already happy
I know it sounds a little bit sappy
So praise the Lord with all your heart
that is the first place to start
praise Him when you've got no reason
and soon you will, in it's due season
Thank Him when it makes no sense
especially when feeling tense
He will give you peace inside
so you don't have to run and hide
He fights our battles when we trust
and does whatever that He must
to show His love and abundance too
He wants you to know, that He loves you!

Hope is something you do when all is going wrong
if everything was going right, there would be no reason
hope is a word written in many a song
it comes and goes, it's as changing as the seasons

some days are happy and you just think it will stay
other days are sad and you wonder how it will ever work
on those days, get on your knees and pray
then you'll laugh at the devil with a nice little smirk

you have to take care of a glimmer of hope
if there is just one smoldering piece of it left
don't sit around and let yourself mope
or it will disappear as unexpectedly as theft

hold that hope in the palm of your hand
offer it to God to see what He can do with it
even if you can't see a way, that's ok, He can
so be patient and wait and quietly sit

we all want to do something and don't want to wait
but that might be exactly what is called for
so while you wait get rid of things like fear and hate
so the answers can come, because you're ready for more

God wants to bless you and answer all your prayers
but you have to believe and you have to let Him be
upon Him you can cast all of those cares
He will help you, and only He can set you free

Exactly as He promised is how everything will go
if you don't understand love, then you really should try
that is what He wants and what He's trying to show
He doesn't like it when you're sad He doesn't want to see you cry

He wants you to be joyful, and free and full of HOPE!
everything you wish that you were getting from that lover
attention, affection, respect, trying to find support to cope
He can give you all of these things better than any other

but I just want a boyfriend or a girl to cuddle up to
and I just want a place to live, to pay my bills, and have a home
well He can give you all of that too because He really knows you
and you won't have to search and wander always on the roam

so settled down and trust and wait and you are going to see
that everything your heart desires if you love and trust the Lord
will come to you in ways "impossible" for you and me
and not only those you thought but even so much more!

I thought i'd drown in sufferings
but you lifted me up and gave me wings
when I was broke, you gave me work
when I thought I needed a man
you gave me a ****
so I would know to rely fully on you
that nothing else would certainly do
you fill up your life with a good job and more
you've got it together, controlled to the core
then off like a hurricane everything's gone
you're left to wonder why it all went wrong
you had the house, the man, the career
you had the respect of all of your peers
now you're alone, afraid, and flat broke
all that you had just went up in smoke
it says right there on that green paper
"In God We Trust" 'cause it can vanish like vapor
when you come kneel at the foot of the throne
that's the moment when you know you have won
the battle you've been in was not for the money
stashing cash for rainy days while it's sunny
you've been at war for your very soul
having it all together was never the goal
now nothing is left that you thought that you need
but all of that was only driven by greed
now you have everything and so much more
and you can feel it right down to your very core
and once you have given it all up for God
then He gives it all back to you, isn't that odd?
He knows the plans that He has for you
plans to prosper not harm, to His word He'll be true.

There is war going on that we cannot see
where angels of brilliance are flying above
a raging battle is fought to save you and me
in brilliant armor they clash, bright wings like a dove
Each time you say something kind or you give
every prayer that you offer when you'd rather fight
lends ammo to Heaven so that more may live
tips the scales in favor on darkest of night
you think you don't matter that life just goes on
that all things are determined so do what you want
if there's even a chance that you might be wrong
that when it is the weak and the helpless you taunt
or maybe you think if you're just good or polite
and you'll go to Heaven and that will be all
but He said to make Him you're heart's delight
or you could be left here when He comes to call
Or maybe you think that Heaven is clouds
and all you do there is sit with a harp
when death comes for you in burial shrouds
you think Hell is more suited for the smart and sharp
if you are striving and battling all your life long
to have mansions and money and all that you can
then you are going about it all wrong
God said just believe and that's His gift to man
He promised mansions, and treasures, and pleasures unknown
so what is it here that we want more than that?
all we have to do is plant good and reap what is sown
but we get drunk and diseased and eat till we're fat
so if you have warriors blood and a desire to win
and be tough and awesome, loved and not beat
then why fight with the losing, lending ammo with sin
switch sides to the winning, who's victory's concrete
every choice that you make is helping one side
there's no Switzerland in this battle that's going
so you're making a stand, none along for the ride
pay attention to life and the things that God's showing

creeping crawling something burning
everything is somehow yearning
thoughts of deep and twisted sighings
sometimes you just know they're lying
fun it stops and round it goes
and comes again so touch your nose
its still there its not that cold
but check your hair it's getting old
rambling down the ramp of summer
lake boat fills us back with wonder
you thought I was saying i'm rambling
better writing than sit and gambling
what comes next I do not know
but I keep writing even though
I'll stop when I run out of words
oh look there goes some pretty birds
oh wait their fish but they are flying
big fat tuna down there dying
sitting sweet on dinner plates
oh shut up this fish is great
ok I think I'm stopping now
right after I just take this bow

swipey swipey left or righty
I could do this all freakin nighty
I'll never call you, never text
I know you're all just after ***
boys are silly girls are too
they want true love but a ****** will do
easy peasy lemon squeezy
nobody thinks this stuff is sleezy?

Here I sit upon the sand
Holding my heart in my hand
Reaching it out to the sea
An offering to what beckons me
My wild heart has found a home
One that leaves me free to roam
Allowed to laugh and be myself
Not sitting on some proper shelf
To fly and fall and sometimes break
And often making my heart ache
But even with the pain I feel
When my passion stirs so real
To let it have me heart and soul
But sweet surrender costs a toll
A life full of adventuring
Does not come without suffering
The ocean took my heart like theft
Sometimes I wonder what is left
But now my heart is not my own
It melted from it's former stone
Awakened from a fitful sleep
By stirrings under the great deep
The beatings in my chest subside
As I become the sea's corpse bride
Pulled so deep I cannot breathe
But not having the strength to leave
I'm lost and found the sea owns me
I'll love it when it's killing me

I love it when you rock side to side
like a weeble wobble dance
when you're cooking in the kitchen
making recipes from France

you're silly goofy laugh
and the way you always mock
I can't tell if you are being mean
or if that's just how you talk

you splash me with the water
when you're using the hose
and I hope that you are flirting
that's not hard to suppose

when I lay awake at night
and you are snoring in your bed
I have silly little thoughts
that I am running through your head

Makes me do the things I hate to teach me what I need to know
Of all my friends in the world, she's always there when I am low
Thankfully she tells me how it is and what I need to hear
However life is tossing me, and when things aren't really clear
Everything she does for me is because of all of her great love
Remember to thank her for who she is, and thank the Lord above

Feminism is not really what you think
in the 20's girls wanted to vote and drink
and have the right to ***** like men
go after what we wanted again and again
It was having the choice to go after a career
and suing every guy who looks at our rear
Feminism was a cry for equality
for attention that was high quality
not to be traded like cows or goats
not seen as fragile ladies in castles with moats
we wanted to be known for our brains and smarts
and in so doing, did we give up our hearts?
Now all we want is a man who is real
honest and brave, not afraid to feel
they are too scared now because we are tough
now men never feel like they are enough
We used to rule men with our gentle love
they used to rule us with God's gifts from above
Equality we had, but we just didn't know
wherever we went, they would follow
by the power of female, we made them men
now they just want to feel that again
Love can help us not fight anymore
show them their worth, put a stop to this war

Dear God I'm so alone, why have you left me so
I feel so confused, so much that I don't know
I'm guilty for my past, love I don't deserve
all of your Commandments I'm trying to observe
if I can just be good, then will you hear my cry
when I'm crying out, will you answer why?
why have you deserted me to be all alone
is there nothing I can do, so I can atone?
please hear me when I pray, I can't get out of bed
I'm so tangled up, with the thoughts inside my head

Dear child you're not alone, I'm always by your side
I'm trying to be close to you, it's you that ran to hide
I don't tell you everything because I want you to trust
that everything you go through is something that you must
there's not enough that you can do to be good enough
I love you no matter what, regardless of that stuff
I told you to do things, because they're good for you
not because I just wanted to tell you what to do
my sacrifice has saved you, not all of your work
so stop thinking you are God, or you'll feel like a ****
get up off that bed, and with others share my love
and I promise I will bless you, with good things from above

You're in my head and telling me
that I am not enough
You tell me that I'm ugly
and that I just don't have the stuff

I'm afraid to start a business
because I know that I will fail
all my fears come crushing
my dreams are coming stale

I'm not smart and i'm not good
nobody wants to be with me
I'm all alone forever
because of my past history

My brain it doesn't work right
it just spins out of control
I never finish anything
and that is your dark goal

I cry in bed and curl right up
and think that I can't move
I never want to go outside
and I don't believe in love

But then there is a whisper
telling me to raise my head
He speaks and I want to listen
He raises me from the dead

He gives me tools and insight
and shows me magic things
and now I can see clearly
with the confidence of kings

I don this mighty armor
and nothing works to pierce
for I'm a warrior of God
and now I'm something fierce

so the devil best start running
because I know he's done
I fight a winning battle
for God's already won.

He loves me, he loves me not
he don't love me, though he ought
but I don't believe that I deserve
and so I know i've lost the nerve
when you don't think that you are right
you've already lost that fight
though love, it really isn't war
we treat it as such, more and more
love exists in mind, not heart
and that is why we're still apart
If I could make my mind believe
then your love, I would receive

Pit of snakes, where does one start the other end
smiling and nodding it's all pretend
not what they think when they see my vacant stare
not stupid, my mind is just everywhere
door slams on one tiny thought
had it right in my hand, but now it's not
staring at the judgmental snowy page
it's like a zoo animal locked in a cage
waiting to wander about and set free
unfortunately that poor thing is waiting on me
flutters around like pretty butterflies
taunting you with lots of enticing lies
zeroed back in like a tiger that's tracking
ignoring the concentration you're lacking
oh look! Something shiny its right under there!
oh really? what is it? It went under where?
out of my seat like a running gazelle
man I hate homework. It must be from hell.
but I have to try harder, I really do care
and don't forget I made you say underwear. :-P

It glitters falling ever faster
source is full and spilling over
clouds of eyes that have no master
wishing on a 4-leaf clover
twinkling down upon the leaves
it's sticking to the spikey clouds
watering down as though it grieves
and fallen tresses round it shrouds
source of water pouring out
heart of all it pulses rain
full and drenching now in pout
the earth is drenched in angel pain

Earning the respect of others is easy
first, don't act ****** or do anything ******
respect yourself and how you wish to be seen
don't go around acting like everyone's queen

have kindness and love and an unselfish heart
so gossip and slander won't tear you apart
present good things for others to say about you
and to all of your promises always stay true

don't talk all the time or be braggy and boast
this is what annoys some people the most
others can't love and respect you and care
if you are just filled up with your own hot air

be trustworthy, generous, thoughtful, and kind
and then you will be so surprised when you find
that others will speak out with honorable mention
and you didn't have to do a single thing for attention

I lay on the hard tiles of my rooftop balcony
The city lights make the night sky like a dark day
billowy clouds roll by as only the strongest stars shine
wistfully, I pretend to wish upon the dim little lights
The lyrics to that old Disney song echoing childhood
my wishes take stronger form, as I beseech the Heavens
I don't care for the hopelessness and the doubts I feel
I fight them with every ounce of my willpower
but it is not enough, Divine help is the only hope
It always comes when I least expect it, but it always comes
The love that I feel, and the fear, the endless restlessness
a mind consumed by the misfiring synapses of ADHD
I want to stay, but I'm afraid that I will run away
Even though I love you, and I'm afraid you fear this too
If only your love would glue me to the ground
While God's love would heal our tattered minds
Then our hearts would be free of this fear at last
And we could share a spot while we stare at the stars

Victory is the word of the brand new year
Where I have sworn no more crying, no tears
things will happen, I've seen when you pray
when you let God mold you like you are His clay
I tried slutty and drunken and crying all night
I tried sober, and hard work, and thinking just right
I tried forcing my mind to think the right thoughts
because if you think just right, it will bring you lots
I tried reading every piece of hope I could find
I obsessed and analyzed everything in my mind
Then finally I sat down, and I just let it go
There is no possible way that we can just know
What will happen to us in this life full of pain
Only God can turn it into a life full of gain
I looked up to the Heavens and asked Him to speak
I told Him I couldn't, that I am too weak
He calmed and brought such peace into my heart
He lead me to read His word, just this one part
He faithfully answers our prayers with awesome deeds
it was right there, so plain, He knows all my needs
He told me again and again to believe
and that if I could do that, then I would surely receive
so this is the year that my victory's sure
no more sitting and slouching and acting demure
there is a time for meek and patience and calm
and there's a time to believe and to act very strong
when there's faith in your heart it just comes right out
gives strength to body, lifts your head, ends your pout
last year was painful, I couldn't do it again
God put me through fire to save me from my sin
I don't know what my word of the year was last year
but I know now I like better what I see in the mirror
This year I know, I just feel it deep inside
that victory will come but not because I tried
It will come because God has told me it's so
and He's always faithful to His promises, this I do know.
So He prompted me to tell you all this little story
to inspire you all to your own year of victory