Oh, how we became
from the solace seeking dead of winter
when there was warmth in numbers and maybe comfort hid there too.
I could burn down the densest of cities with the lingering you abandoned
inside me, there is a gift tied tight
I’ve known you more
than the underside of your tongue
wet, reckless, and longing
I recite your anger with sure lips
before yours even part.
We memorized each other bare-******,
we don’t touch anymore.
The silence just bleeds
Staining the empty sofa
No longer our worn place of comfort.
We are asking for one another with greedy jaws
loosened with halfhearted declarations
and it is not enough.
You wonder how fairytales
could lead you so astray
you hurt yourself on the jagged softness
of bloodied knuckles against your cheek.
Turn the page on the brightest star
as it implodes unheard, without consequence
I built you up in my mind
far too close to heaven
wrapped tightly in the flammable
We didn’t burn together.
Sometimes we love people more in theory than practice.
The choir concludes the service
We are eyes closed, air drawn to hands raised.
They sing because they happy
back in church
always with bodies
Someone is screaming, tongue defying hymn
And yes, how far away we are
I miss him too.
His voice always singing familiar
haunts trumpet blaring
Dark eyes and skin, wide smile, no teeth.
Fearless at 5 singing gospels with no concept of holding tight to strength in the lyrics. My ancestors and their ancestors. Am I listening?
I lose myself in years. I am not
Singing anymore. These chords have twisted themselves into the back of songs, I am
Writing, not singing or speaking.
Cottonmouth. I am sitting staunch against pews, leaning into worn piano keys. Foundation stains, and eyes watching, chestnut brown like mine. G in the key that breaks into silence. I hear a hymn being hummed, bacon cooked and waiting.
Memory tells me it is time to open my mouth
I sing 'cause I’m free.
My speakers miss the slow cracking rasp of your voice
and I know I’m not supposed to talk about the tears
or what happens to our hearts once we break them ourselves.
It comes to be a question of belonging
there is a space within you
perfectly build for me to sink inside,
where I hear your voice wistfully say my name
a space that you’ve guarded not emptied.
Now we are the detriment,
in the question of belonging.
There is a space between the soft flesh of my chest,
beyond the cracking of my ribs.
Inside of me, there is a space built for you
sometimes I keep myself there too.
it was early on
I found your kindness laying between my thighs
your love was barren and no
I couldn’t fill
a sideways heart spilled out
contents burning every inch of
your intimacy touched
giving the pieces of myself I never
cared to part with
left me empty and you
Most days are filled with unearthing
The feeling of
I am enough.
And then there are days, never-ending
days, and days,
I am breathing and that is enough.