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As I lay there on you shoulder,
listening to your heart beating.
I here it, slow and steady.
Like the sound of a distant war drum.

With every beat, my eyes are drifting to the melody.
Until I find myself in a dark abyss, drifting to sleep.
I open my eyes one last time to reassure myself I am with you.
And I pass out, without any warning.

Without a sound, or scream.
I pass out, in a sleep coma.
In your arms, I feel as if this is how it's suppose to be.

I don't sleep much at all if you haven't noticed.
So when I do get tired
I will find myself longing for the melody
the melody that only plays for me.

But when it's not there,
I won't sleep.
My body won't let me,
my body and mind;
needs you to be there.

To comfort and protect me,
to hold me when nightmares awaken me at night.
To let me know you are there.
So I will search for the heart beat song.
Not just anyone's, only yours.
My ex and me are talking again
It hurts. All of it still hurts.
IDK how I can do this.
IDK how I'm going to be strong when every part of my world is crumbling.
I hate not knowing what to do,
I still feel as if someone seeped in through the cracks of my shields (the shields that guard my heart)
and tore some of it out. without warning or hesitation.
Then afterward most of it died when my best friend did.
Now, all that's left, is trying to feel something, anything.
other than pain.
The blood from the tare, bleed out through salty tears;
that roll down my face; even now.
My body shakes, looking for stability, for the other parts.
But they are gone, nowhere to be seen.
To Noah, this is how I felt
I still miss you.








god, how I miss you.
this time between us hurts.
I wish you'd come back to me.
  Dec 2019 Krissi Micha Dees
Umang
With you


Let me be with you
We can rewrite the stars
With each other side by side

Let me fall with you
We can climb up the mountains
With each other hand in hand

Let me walk with you
We can jump over the pitfalls
With each one step together

Let me dream with you
We can build our own world
With creative imaginations

Let me fly high with you
We can roll over the clouds
With wings of freedom in the sky...
If tomorrow was my last
I'd do nothing.
I wouldn't skydive
I wouldn't travel
I wouldn't do everything
I've ever wanted to do.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd do as always.
I'd get up
I'd read my bible
I'd go to school
and have an average day.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd act as normal.
I'd smile to others
I'd say "hello"
I'd do my best
as I try every day.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd tell no one.
I wouldn't shout it
I wouldn't scream it
I wouldn't sing it
from every single rooftop.

If tomorrow was my last
I'd never know it.
That's why my usual
day to day consists
of all things I love
the very most.

If tomorrow were my very last
what I do today would be enough.
It would make me smile
It would make me laugh
It would make me happy
Because I have learned always
to be content in the ordinary.
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