I can't stand ticking clocks;
They remind me of every second that
*you're not here

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

MY HEAD IS A TWISTER IT
SWEEPS UP EVERYTHING
I CARE ABOUT AND DEST
      ROYS IT DISPLACING
        EVERYTHING AND
          MAKING A MESS
             WHY ARE MY
                THOUGHTS
                SO DESTRUC
                  TIVE WHY
                    MUST IT
                    ALWAYS
                    HURT TO
                     EXIST I
                      HATE
                       THE
                       TOR
                        NA
                        DO
                         TH
                          AT
                           IS
                           M
                            Y
                            M
                             I
   ­                         N
                            D

i will always be a cup of coffee
a little strong
a bit too sweet
and I can never change
her love
of a watered down alternative
that she prefers
instead of me

Not saying I love you
this morning felt like
forgetting to take my
medicine.

Letting go
isn’t
giving up,
it's
giving
yourself
a chance