Lately
Masculinity has been feeling like an excuse

Men
are expected to fight ****** battles

Men
Are expected to be rough

Men
Are expected to never take no for an answer

Men
Are expected to take what we want even when they say no

Men
Are expected to never take off the mask

Men
Are expected to never show emotion

Men
Are ready to give up

Men
Are ready to die

I wonder what would happen if we could no longer hide behind the masc-ulinity

You are the star
of each and every
one of my nightmares,
in most of them

You hand me a sugar cube
With the brightest smile
So welcoming
so warm

I greedily accepted
Placing it on the tip
Of my tongue

Until reality sets in
I did not get delivered sugar,
But rather

salt

This is what abuse is:
Hoping you will get sugar
Every time

But always ending with salt
For seventeen year.

Do you think I can have
one more kiss?

I'll find closure on your lips,
and then I'll go.

Maybe also one more breakfast,
one more lunch, and one more dinner.

I'll be full and happy

and we can part.

But in between meals,
maybe we can lie in bed one more time.

One more prolonged moment
where time suspends indefinitely

as I rest my head on your chest.

My hope is if we add up the "one mores,"
they will equal a lifetime,

and I'll never have to get to the part
where I let you go.

But that's not real, is it?

There are no more "one mores."

I met you when everything
was new and exciting,

and the possibilities
of the world seemed endless.

And they still are.

For you, for me.

But not for us.

Somewhere between then and now,
here and there,

I guess we didn't just grow apart,

we grew up.

When something breaks, if the pieces
are large enough, you can fix it.

Unfortunately, sometimes things
don't break, they shatter.

But when you let the light in,

shattered glass will glisten

And in those moments,

when the pieces of what we were
catch sun,

I'll remember just how beautiful it was.

Just how beautiful it'll always be.

Because it was us.

And we were magic

That wasn’t meant to be