I never had the chance
to tell you
of the things
you should know
but you got me first
by saying goodbye
then left-

we almost had it
but we never did
I guess, almost
means never

My head is infested
with thoughts
my ears couldn’t
bear to listen

It feeds my soul
with pitch-black ideas
that had me hanging
over thorns of death

It touches my skin
with blade-like words
wounds after wounds,
I bleed to die

H
    E
        L
            P
                M
                     E

I have always been lost for words
whenever my thoughts,
captures memories of you;
the smiles you used to wear,
those eyes that holds the galaxy
and the soul,
so passionate
that I mistake you as an angel-

astounded,
I am to you-

sometimes we write beautiful lines
and speaks of them a million times
sometimes we **** at creating one
and in thoughts we reminisce how's it done

sometimes we make things right
from the messed up ones we had on flight
sometimes we tell stories about our life
but most we just kept out of sight

sometimes we pretend that everything's alright
to contain the pain we had inside
sometimes we forget ourselves
to make others happy

but;

sometimes we drop the leaves we grew
to make way for new ones to glow

Beyond wonders
and some more
galactic events,
I believed you exist
to fall with me--

to an awful beauty
called love

then you started
to think
that you're a mess,
a disappointment

             but oh my dear
             you're a beautiful
             kind of mess

We've started the year with nicknames and endearments- stuffs that makes us look stupid but sweet. Started affection and all other addiction- your voice, your looks, your smell and everything about you. But we- you start to end it with sorry's and reasons and insecurities and-stopped. Ended the year with nothing but memories that carves pain within. We- we just stopped.

i write when i'm excited
i write when i'm sad
i write when i'm burning
with feelings so overwhelming

i write when my head is busy
buzzing figures of speeches
and words that asks collateral
disruptions
and voices that pays no toll
for causing distractions

i write when i feel empty
i write when i'm filled with empathy

i write when everyone speaks too much
my heart aches for reasons,
papers and pens could only reach
to comfort and preach
that i am strong as such
and when i'm down,
i can help myself fetch

i write when i think of nothing
the ruins of my thoughts
lingers like unpaid debts
of feelings, rejected and ignored
that wakes me up at 3am
i couldn't do anything
but lie and think
and to papers and pen
i write them down
page by page, endlessly
until i ran out of blood
my pen is dry without its ink

i write with my life
as the blood of my pen

at 7:30 in the morning
let's eat, she said
and I saw nothing
but her naked skin
and a smile so arousing
then my clothes
began to melt

with a grin
we started kissing
and moaning
our music playing
at 7:30 in the morning

this wasn't the place
we dreamed to live with
nor the words we promised

it has changed differently
not even close
or more than words
ours was vast and beautiful
but this, only holds
pain, the grave we fall
from hopeless wishes
and empty jars of faith

i know this wasn't
but to do something to change it
requires my soul to break

           so better leave it be forgotten
           than have myself to completely fade

Galaxies apart,
I believed
that's what
we are-
but whenever
I see your smiles,
it feels like
both of your hands
are holding mine

what arouses you
she asked-
coffee and poetry,
i replied.
she looked away

with a smile
I whispered
"and YOU"
naked next to me

i am a commissioner of love
i speak for the voices, unheard
i speak for the hearts, broken and untreated
i speak for the thoughts, rejected and frightened
i speak and stand for them;
       for i was like them
       before and until now
       still looking for places
       i could fit my heart and soul in

i speak for them and for me
       for the courage to spell words personally
       creates waves of emotions that drowns throats, unspeakably-
       than writing it with this pen and paper with me

i speak for them
       not because i'm brave enough to chant the spell
       but because i knew,
       someone is counting on me
       to do something we couldn't complete, singly

I turned the lights off
there, I saw my soul
sleeps soundly
then I turned it on
my soul woke up
with troubled thoughts,
figure trembling
like a flame,
dancing against the wind-
about to die...

I turned it off back
and to eternal darkness
I dose myself out

Now death has come before me
Claiming what is owned temporarily
But choices are given to be drawn
Whether to live again in vain
Or choose death that is about to gain
Escape, i thought for a second
What is to be yielded on hand
I love my life
Yet, I'm curious about death
Is it a cure?
I asked again-
And in enough of thoughts,
I jumped to death's den
And to eternal darkness
My life faded
Like a footprint on a sand

It's 3am and I'm still stuck
with day-dreaming
of you in this room
standing naked
before me;

stuck to a question
you asked,
"how would you do me?"
and speechless I was
for such inquiry-

how would I do you
I asked myself
drawing figures of you
tucked on my bed
filled with pleasure
you badly needed;

how would I do you
I asked again
so I moved my hands
to where you're vulnerable
and stretch as far as I can go
reaching your bottom

how would I do you
this question repeats again
so I started kissing
your lips- torridly
down to your *******,
*******,
biting your *******
for excitement overwhelmed me
yet, you showed no pain but pleasure
you showed no rebellion but surrender

how would I do you
and I finally knew;
I moved down
started kissing
and licking
and licking
and lick...
with my tongue,
thirsty of you
and you started screaming
yes, yes, yes, yes
and a smile curled up to my lips
I finally knew

it's 3am,
I fell asleep
stuck to the thought of
How would I do you

Now I do

You dreamed of things
your head played
but neglected them
a thousand times
because of the voices
saying;
you won't be able
to achieve them
and listened

You've somehow
imprisoned yourself
to thoughts that don't matter
to words, only made
to drag you down
to eyes, made to judge
to hearts, only made
to discourage

Your dreams are made
of a million you's;

Go on
Dream BIG
Prove them wrong

i DREAM of city lights
and YOU-
NAKED next to me

i hated
the feeling
of longing;
it makes
me weak
it makes
me vulnerable-
to being
broken
and to the corners
i once hid
will be again
my safe haven
against pain

Water drips from my eyes, flown straight thru my cheeks; shivers- I breathe deeply. Holding every inch of pain I felt in my chest,within, thud-thud-thud-thud, says my heart; a sensation that lingers- battling every strange feeling, living amidst of me. Choking- air came scarce, and so are words left me. Black, darkness reign; and the light you've shone bright- slowly gone, and gone to stealth.

You stole
my heart away
and to
the whispers
of the wind
I can hear
its beats
fading
slowly...

We always looked
at the things
that broke us once
but not
of the things
that kept us whole

let's change our focus
to a future
that is beyond control
yet within
our imagination's call.

I was a captive
Of the words, promises-made
Of the lips, lies incarnate
Of the eyes, opened to discriminate
Of the world, caged within a condemnatory kinsfolk

I was a captive
and my actions were limited

I was a captive
So are the words my tongue exhibits, scripted

I was a captive
So are my thoughts, being dictated

I was a captive
So as my freedom, chained to words
Restrained, shackled, suppressed-

I was a captive
I was weak
I live in fear
I was discriminated
I was rejected
I wasn’t wanted..

I was chased
But couldn’t catch me
I was a captive

I was shot
But they missed
I was a captive

I was poisoned
but survived
for I was immune
I was a captive

I was a captive
I may had
But I am limited edition
I was chaos
Now I’m war-
My thoughts are limitless
Bound to be border-less

I am power
I am strength
I am storm,
Unstoppable, deadly-

I was a captive
But not anymore


Triggered Letters

I can't own you
like he did to you
you have your world
and, I too;

I can't own you
but,
you'll be the world
I would love to live with
regardless the change of seasons
regardless the shape you're into
regardless the chaos you contain
you'll still be the world
I would always run to-

I can't own you
for my love for you
is freedom,
like you dreamed
when we were younger
and after you were broken.

she spread her wings, wide
cheerfully smiled
and her blushes are wild
while I lick my lips
eyes fixed
to a beauty before me-
fresh, wet, and free

troubled,
stuck in-between
love and chaos,
when holding on
too long
means pain
than letting go

To all the
what ifs
I have to
think of--

I've been drowning
to all of you

A queen
and a knight,
I believed what I saw
you were made
with such beauty
that holds
too much chaos

I always dream
of waking up
next to you--

but everyday,
it snows

fighting demons,
taming dragons-
both are deadly
like falling in love.

i hear heartbeats
sings songs
of love
and sadness

tunes
you and i
are familiar with

where we dance
and cry
in our sleep at night
thinking tomorrow
is another day
to feel glee or die

I've joined poetry websites
and all of 'em excites-
the poet i am inside
screaming for words
I can no longer hide;

then hello poetry was introduced
to this poet, so induced
to create crazy lines
that collects higher fines;
tolls i couldn't define

day after day, i wrote
line after line, i broke
and bleed
the words
in my blood
i hid

and to my co poet and poetess
i admit and confess
that your masterpieces
lit up the flame
i have within
my soul to bring
upon your den
of broken lines
made to mend
someone who has been broken
and found this place
haven, a poet's and poetess's space

let me take this flower
you've kept for long
and touch its buds
see the beauty it hides;
you said, awful but wonderful
you said ugly, but one of a kind
you said no- but when I began
all you ever shouted was YES and GO

let me own this flower, you've kept
and I promise to have it watered
night and day

his words
are his swords,
cutting deeply
to whoever meets it..
leaving marks
decryptable by
one who yields the same..

How much I love you

Destiny, so would some say
that we met, in a planned way
we didn't expected to happen
yet, here we are
charmed at each other's smiles
our souls hum at each other's voices
blissed at each other's warmth;

I still remember how we met
and never thought
I'd have you as my partner instead
you are sweet, and every taste
I never thought
I could fall in love with
and each day that passes,
I got addicted-
with your voice, my favorite music
with your smile, my loveliest portrait
with your eyes, my infinite universe
with your heart, my strength and courage

Darling, I'm in debt
though you may not see it
you are every bit
of the happiness
I am living with
and I'm the luckiest man
to ever witness
such greatness-

When I'm with you
when I'm with you
it feels like my eyes
are surrounded with a million stars
so darling, don't be ashamed with your own scars
yes, you may not be perfect
but your imperfections has made me feel
cloud nine on my cerulean sky;
and love, it is not enough
to just marvel at your beauty,
I must tell the world as well
that there is an incomparable beauty
and she's with me

How much I love you,
you might've asked
Darling, in these phrases
I hope you'll see
that I would cross seas
just to feel your embrace
that I could fly you to Jupiter
or anywhere you dear
Oh! How I long for you
my arms aches for yours
my lips dreamt of yours

Darling, all these time
you made me poetic
that even my soul
loves the rhythmic
my kind of upbeat music
my eyes giggles
at each moment
I stare at your pictures

and you should know
that I'm beyond proudest
with all of your fulfillment
in every dream
you'd want to take
please do not fret
for I am with you
when you needed help

How much I love you,
I hope you're seeing it now
that in my eyes
are paintings of you
and I pray, soon too
that I'll wake up next to you
that your lips
are only breath away
with mine
having both our hands, entwined
and my skin,
rubbing against your
gentle ones

How much I love you,
I hope I expressed it well
for Darling,
you're the only love
I would dream
to grow old with

there had been days
i wish for rain to pour
so hard that i could drown
my thoughts, indoor

there had been days
i wish for the sun to shine
so bright it could scorch
my troubled soul

there had been days
i wish i had none
and stared blankly
to the reasons i couldn't shake
of being away from you
my heart withers;
thirsty to the touches
you do

come closer
and witness
the painting
my irises
are holding;
you'll find
yourself
standing
and smiling-

I wish
to run
my fingers
between yours,
hold them
like you're
forever mine

Some dreams,
should remain just dreams
she once told me
and the fire
within me, fluttered;
I remember
how she said
that I'm her dream
I remember how heat
caress my cheeks
that cold night
suddenly, I felt tears
wet my eyes
and my throat felt sore
to the thought
I fear-
some dreams
should remain just dreams

how do you
keep your
sanity tact?

I don't.
I let it out
like a
volcanic eruption,
in furtive ways;
like killing someone
a million times
within your mind

Let's be muted together-
let touch, hugs, and kisses
the only languages
We knew for centuries
and a thousand years more.
Given immortality
could be granted
if you let your;
Heart, mind, soul and body-
Collide with mine.