I want to crack you open like
The pages of a book
I always wanted to read but
Could never get my hands on
Write my own words in the margins
Not with a pen but
With my fingertips
Take notes on my favorite passages
Not on paper but
On your lips
Memorize my favorite lines like
A prayer I never knew I needed
And then reread each chapter
Page by page so that
I'm sure to not miss a
Single word or phrase

We are all planets
wanderers in an
endless waltz
across the canvases
of the cosmos
trying to find the
nearest star to
provide warmth
and light
to support the life
within and
we sometimes get
sunburned and
we sometimes get
frozen
but
the endless vacuum
seems a lot less desperate
when we are in synchronous
orbit with
one another

As I lay here I realize
this deafening silence
sounds just like you
And I laugh alone in the dark
because this is me saying
something melodramatic
to have an excuse to mention you
In the same way I have adopted
ending a sentence with your name
instead of using a period
Because you are the most
poignant ending I will ever know

green eyes
soft smile

you got me feeling
all kinds of things

they spoke about ****** assault

i cried silently
i cried in my room

i cried loudly
i cried in public

i cried

this isn't okay
admit it or not
**this isn't okay.

Hours lost...
But I feel like I've gained

I felt nothing...
No recollection of the world.
No worries.
No thoughts.
No questions.
No demons.

Felt like I was dead but...
I got a morbid sense of peace,
and reassurance.
I felt bliss.

Unshackled, untethered and unbound
in those hours,
I felt one with the disconnection
from my life.

Strange and worrisome...
But I long to be caught in those
lost hours again.