I saw the smoke from the mountains,
Early in the morning sun,
Billowing deep from the trees,
Where the great mountain beast once was.

I saw the smoke from Paul Bunion’s cabin,
Rolling up into the sky,
So when I climb up there tomorrow,
I’ll bring him a great big pie.

Up to the trees I go,
Further north where fresh water flows.
Travel preparations with my heart aching,
Home is where I’m free,
Left alone just to be.
Not in this gloomy place,
Not within this heat wave.
Like a pioneer,
I pack my bags,
Leaving behind the places I know,
In search of the places,
Where I’ll grow.

What is JWST?   An innocent Q.
But deserving of prose.  I knew just what to do.

It's  ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶  jwst our first space flower,
Unfurling its hexagons.
Golden petals that thirst for the most ancient photons.

Jwst the thing that can see so much further than we
would have ever dared dream in the last century.

So you'd think it'd be hard to see our backyard,
After red galaxies melding with CMB.
But it's shadowy seat is what gives us the treat,
Of our hard to reach planets in infrared heat.

James Webb Space Telescope
Keeps surpassing all hopes.
30 years to develop.  At least twice we went broke!

A 10 year orbital cosmology store.
Survived through max Q,  and keeps giving us more.
30 years in the womb.  Twas a legacy born.

i deleted him
finally
after a whole year of agony
i deleted our texts
i deleted our pictures
i deleted his contact

i wish i could delete the memory of him
i wish i could delete the moments with him
i wish i could forget how safe i felt with him
i haven’t felt safe in a long time

when i swiped left
to delete our texts
something broke inside of me
and he was the one person i wanted to see in that moment

going through our pictures
hurt something different

and deleting his contact
i think i might’ve screamed
cuz it hit me
he’s really not coming back

apparently he misses me
i wish he would’ve told me before it was too late
but i’m proud of him for keeping no contact
i know it was hard for him too

i’m not angry at him anymore
just hurt
life is magically terrible
love is wonderfully painful

he’s not coming back
but i think im finally ok with that

you were 9 when you heard about depression for the first time
you told yourself “that will never be me
i’m gonna be happy
i’m gonna be free”

then at 10 you started to wonder
why am i so sad?
it made your mom worry
so did your dad

And at 11 you cut for the first time making you wonder
why
why
why it made you feel better
you just wanted to quit but you still did everything you could to hide it

then at 12 you let your mind dwell on the thoughts saying  just end it
it’s all you wanted to do
yet still you didn’t

but at 13 you tried pills for the first time
started with a high and then enough to die

and at 14 you met him
the one you thought saved you
but still you tried and you tried
you tried to fight , to die, sometimes both at the same time

then at 15 you went to therapy saying
“i don’t think this can save me”
but still he encouraged you
he was proud of you

now you’re 16 and he’s not here anymore
the pain left with him, but who’s keeping score?
it took a few years but you’re finally free
just like that 9 year old said you would be

i have these voices in my head

with me when i’m awake or in bed
when i’m smiling and happy
they come and break my peace
telling me weird things
that make me lose my ease

they tell me i won’t get better
they tell me i don’t matter
they tell me one day ill be dead
so why not get it over with instead

the voices are evil and cold
but they comfort me when i’m all alone
they tell me to do things to myself
and be sure that no one knows

oh the voices in my head
they walk me to my death

How do you come to hate,
The ones you loved?
You don't.
They tend to turn on you,
Either that,
Or they weren't real at all.
I forsake any shard of regret I had,
From leaving you,
I regret any feeling I had,
From loving you.
If anyone lost here,
It was you.
Because you'll fall back into emptiness,
Trying to replace it with people,
But I, I will not.
I'll continue to cradle my own light,
Which you came so close to taking.
I'm done sacrificing pieces of me,
In order to receive nothing.