The grass is damp with
The morning dew, like her hair
After a shampoo

They say they're your friends
then force you to fund their ends
they're not heaven sent



                      Kelly McManus

as your grace tries to stretch it's wings
in that rusted cage he glues plastic gems on
i am besotted by the elegance of the plumage
falling to a floor i would give anything
to sweep.

the night i proclaimed my love for you
i made an attempt on my life,
the rationale was of the "if i can't have..."
kind, blended with other poisons,
and entirely half-assed.

only now, i understand that
whispering into tin cans and writing
poetry with hand-made quills is far better
than the inky black screaming oblivion
i almost slipped into.

Here I've been singing
Songs for my bleeding soul
Can't you feel my morality leaving?
And now I'm struggling
On heartstrings I'm dangling
And emotionally muddling

There I was, running
My gold armor scuffing
Soon I'll be trusting (forgive)
Soon I will rust
My soul will join the dust
And maybe that's enough

My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

Writing is my safety net,
That I abandon far too often,
In the fear of finding answers
Of the inevitable truth hidden,
Behind the well protected walls,
One would call anxiety

People's pettiness
is a characteristic
the system creates

       Kelly McManus