I face each day
Like I face my reflection.
Teeth baring and stagnant.

Stale and unamused.

I ask

"What do you have for me today?
What adversity must I face?
Am I to walk a thousand miles?
Or think a thousand thoughts?
Will you be easy on me today?
Please?"

He says

"Don't water the plants.
They want to die.
They don't want to bloom."

Take their lives.
**** them off

I'm talking to myself out loud.
I hear my voice
But I don't hear any words.
I hear the disgruntled mumbles
I'm attempting to speak.

In due time,
things will be fine.
In due time,
You'll make sense of it all.
Where do I start?

I ask

"Do these things matter?
Am I supposed to feel?
Where's my guilt?"

He says

"Don't water the plants.
They want to die.
They don't want to bloom"

That's all I get?

He says

"That's all you'll ever get"

As if he was in my head.
As if he heard my thought.

No matter how much I asked,
That's all I ever got.

The flowers.
They don't want to be alive.
They don't want to bloom.

Did the flowers give up too?
Was it their only choice?
The only one they felt they had?

I ask

No I don't. I ask nothing anymore.

So everyday,
I face my tasks like I face my reflection.

Lifeless and dull.
Withering and disintegrating.
Like the flowers i've neglected.
On purpose.
Because I killed them.
I killed them.

I killed my self.
I killed everything I ever was.

Mysterious covenants
withdrawn from society
and told not to speak of.
Hidden vouchers of happiness
and a life of wealth
buried among the most
ancient temples in the world.
Never to be spoken of
due to fear of realization
that this world is a mound of
disappointment and ridicule.
No one body be free
and no one soul live comfortably.
Wether in wealth, in mental health
or in streak of stealth.
In realizing all set up for failure
we try and we fall..
We give everything we contain
to fail and to die.

Your bones cast a shadow in the depths of your skeleton.
You once took a subtle beating to the skull
and played it off as your hands were wrapped in concrete.
Discovering your own marks and feelings within your body
- unheard truths spoken to the part of your heart
you have not yet discovered.
There your eyes lay to rest on a beautiful being
other than a fantastical collage of the beautiful things in life. Disengaging gruesome faiths to a god you'll never believe in.
Having nothing to grasp leaves your mind wandering
through the dangerous parts of a secret passage in all ends.
Never remembering why you're encouraged to fail
but knowing your fate lies in the hands of an unworthy witch
with a bad head on their shoulders.
With your dues written in stone
trudge along to the sound of your own dismay and sulk
while realizing your worth and your need.

*None of what we are will ever be worth anything that we should be

everything about you
makes me want
to caress every crevice of your skin,
learn every winkle and imperfection
in your distraught face.
your eyes speak wonders to those
of the untold caverns you dig
in your inner most sanctuaries.
Although your sanctuaries bring
the only hurt your body will ever feel
you treasure them like they're detrimental
to your being.
how horrifyingly beautiful it is
to see your current state of mind.
How it seems the devils touch ran
through your veins.
You've turned so horribly evil
and it's riveting.
I love all of your ****** up tendencies
and it amazes me how beautiful
you actually are.
Through every scar of your skin
and every droughty word that
flows from your mouth.
Infected with poison, and every touch
to your lips.
Needing more of the morphine your blood draws.
you drank my feelings like it's the only
thing you know how to do.
you're so dangerous and I love it.
I adore the dangerous nature of your actions.
your presence is enough of a mystery
to keep me attracted
to the lights in your dim eyes.
Beautifully simplistic.

The constant feeling of drowning
suffocation.
No regeneration, and no hope.
Waving goodbye to dreams and prospering amenities.
Nothing can hurt you anymore,
you've felt it all before.
Nothing in this ******* world gives you chills
upsets you, or scares you
the way it did the first time
your problems bluntly ripped off your skin,
exposed your skeleton and poisoned
your organs,
exposing the hurt you
expressed in the little journal that fit in your pillowcase.
You no longer have fear that tomorrow you wont wake-
it's become more of a dream than anything.
Wishing that you wake up with your loved one
by your side
but wondering who would care
so much as to comfort you... scarcity?
Addicted to the brain washing pills,
or the hurt one inflicts on you.
You feel good about your poor decisions,
and with no direction, take the path to hell.
but that's normal, that's all you know.
and its not your fault,
though fully aware of your mistakes.
Twisted destinies among the greatest of people,
who knows where we'll end up.

Portrayal of a pageantry adheres
Rejuvenation scares the skin off the bones of our own
Watch it burn, save none, save none at all.

Retract, relive.
Your eyes seek no help in man.
Give, love.
You hold no prophecy.

Everyday sinking down to man
Seeking a new way to justify your intentions
We are not here for a good purpose.

**** it off.
Feel the fire through your veins,
make it hurt. love it
Forgive yourself,
you are hell.

No other way to say what we do
Frozen. Fractured.
No help has been sent,
you are on your own.


You asked for your own fate.
This is what you will become.

I swear that I feel,
I swear that I hurt.
I swear that I can feel your blood roll through my heart.
I swear that gruesome thoughts raid my inner most fantasies,
my dark, dark thoughts haunt your fame.
I apologize, sincerely.
I have hurt you one too many times.
I have given you no reason to stay,
and still you run back.
How scary, how vile it is
to see how I've intentionally destroyed us all.
My fault, and no remorse be felt.
The fault in myself is one that can never be forgiven.

Stripped, and barefoot.
Intentional faults.
Intentional hurt.
The things I dream haunt me.
---
You will never prosper
Try to run, but I will see.
The impossible nature
of all the things I long for.
---
Distanced love,
I will wait for nothing.
Irrational thoughts I will never stop.
All the dangerous thoughts I will think.
---
But you will still dance on my skull.
You will still flow through my blood.
You will remind me of possibilities,
the ones I will never see.
You will scare me into my own skin.
You will be the one to burn me.
But you will be the one to care.
---
You will give all I need
you will be my entirety.
And through the drought
you will be my storm.
You will be the one to love me
when it becomes impossible to love myself.