The words are there
The thoughts are there
Poems are created, through inspiration unspoken of

Sentences are thought
Poems are thought
But no inking, no typing, no writing

They are there
They are here
In mind and soul, written in blood and memory

Tomorrow is another day
Another day to write and create
To think and remember, to poem for never to be spoken of

I have homework to do
But I keep thinking about you
The way we where
It keeps me from thinking clearly

I have classes to follow
But I keep staying at home
Because I keep thinking about you
The way you moved on

I have a study to finish
But I can't focus on the tasks to do
My brain won't let me
Because all it can do, is think about you

I have point to gain, so I'll pass the year
I want to, I really want to
But you, my past are holding me back
I don't know how to, how to move on

Dreaming away, like clouds moving along the sky
Listening to music, to be carried away
Along the sky, like clouds moving by

In a state of happiness, floating around
Drifting away in a higher state of mind
To be carried away, instead of staying on the ground

It gives a certain feeling, a state of happiness
Look at the sky, being able to let it pass by
I wish that it lasted, for it to be endless

Feeling this way, is like floating through paradise
getting away, from the earthly pain
To be taken by the clouds and glide along the blue-skies

At a distance far away
Your house is build on a solid ground
You walk your steps through the city

At a distance far away
Your bed is placed in a tidy room
Your books a stacked on the shelf

At a distance far away
You live your live
You read your book about the higher person

At a distance far away
You step in the teleporting machine
To start your travel to a place far away

No I am not
But I live
So I will be in time

When I look up to the sky
I see these little lights dancing
Like cows going outside for the first time of the year

When I look out the window
I see the leafs move in the wind
Like little flames dancing in the fireplace

When I look at your face
I see a little smile
Like a little pup having the time of his life

When I look in your eyes
I see little sparkles lighting up
Like a flower opening up in the early morning sun

It hurts to know
It hurts to see

That you have replaced me
That you have past me

I am happy for you, that you moved on
I am happy for you, that you have found someone new

I told my brother
I told my sister in law

That I am not well
That I am suicidal at times

It was a relieve to tell
It was painful to see

Silence fell when I told
His eyes turned into water when I told

A river of tears was streaming down
But it didn't weight him down

To tell me, to let me know, he is there for me
He loves me, he will be here with me

I am grateful that he is here
He wants me to be here

Time is all I needed I said
Time is the hardest thing to let pass by

I told myself I can do this
I told them I can do this

So I will do this, I will see it through
So I can do this, just because I said so

Breaking seems to be my new nature
Yesterday I saw a picture of her and a friend
It made me broken again
Broken like a earthquake cracks the ground

She went to a concert with a friend
A concert that we where supposed to go to
It hurts to see her move on while I am staying behind

It feels like I am stuck
Hanging in the past
Frozen in the moment she left me

I feel broken
I feel miserable
Don't know what to do
Where to go
How to get past it

I don't want to feel this way
I want to move on
But every time again
I feel this pain
This emptiness inside me
It keeps pulling me back
Into the void of pain and memory

Sitting in the back of the bus
Gently being pussed left to right by the turns of the road
Feeling the sounds of the engine roaring to keep the bus at speed, pulling it forward along the way
Listening to music through my headphone
To slowly fade away
Taking a trip with my mind through space
Tottaly zoning out, letting everything behind
Letting life for what it is, and feel free for a moment
I could do this everyday
It feels so nice, it's almost like a drug
A nice feeling to be taken everyday before going to bed
Just to keep mind and body at peace

It's dark outside
Lanterns are lit
Light is glooming
Shadows are flickering

Night has just started
People went inside
To sit by the fireplace
Reading books, wachting movies

Rain is wettening the cobblestone streets
The could breeze is blowing through the trees
Time is sheared with loved ones
Quiet and comfy by the fire

Time is ticking
Ligh walking
Darkness crawling
Ideas spinning
Yet nothing is done

Words are spoken
Thoughts spread
Food sheared
Roofs made
Yet nothing is done

Cults are raised
People hypnothised
Brains fried
Teambuilding learned
Plans made
Yet nothing is done

Spirits are killed
Ambitions beheaded
Souls crushed
Believes imposed
Freedoms taken
Everything is meaningless

Words popping up in my head
With no clear reason at all.
Putting them together
Sentences are made.
Thoughts flowing out
Ideas are written.
Words are created
plans are tolled.

Crowds cheering
People screaming
Voices raised
Words Shouted

Many thoughts
Lots of people
Large crowds
Streets filled

Everyone is unique
Everyone is different
No one is the same
No one thinks alike

How to please all
How to make peace
What is there to accomplish
What is it that we can achieve

While everyone has different needs
While no one wants the same thing
When we act like one, but are many peaces
When all of us can't agree on the same goal

A scar here, a scare there
It is chaos in my mind
You are glued to my thoughts so it seems
Listening to metal keeps me sane
Reflects my mind
Just that organized chaos
I don't know what to do
How to get rid of you
Of the thoughts that keeps coming back
The way you left me
It hurts like hell
It broke me, it left me in pieces
You are glued to my mind
I don't know how to fix it
It makes me go crazy
I know one way to get rid of it all
I requires from me my last breath of air
So I can just be free for once
Maybe this is the solution
Unless some one else knows one
So I can be free and roam around once more
Free of pain free of delusions
Free of thoughts of wonders
Free of the past to get to the future
Free of me, to start anew

Once upon a time
There was this little kid
He was playing along the tide
Building a sandcastle with walls

At that moment the water was far away
So his castle would be safe
Guarded by feet of sand in Parama bay
A place down by the shore of Mexico

The kid lived a happy life
He could play for hours by the beach
The world was small as he was only five
He had summer vacation

Every day felt like a happy day
Playing on the beach listening to music
But then all of a sudden the sky turned grey
Water started rising high

The little boy had no idea
So he played on build his castle
A scream came from the house, it was his sister Sofie
She had dropped a *** of tea almost on her feet

James heard his sister and ran in the house
But tripped over his little castle
He didn't notice the large wave of water behind him
His sister screamed more, something about running faster

So James ran and ran as fast as he could
But he was to late, the water had already reached his feet
And he fell again, bumped his head on a piece of wood
The next thing he saw, was his sister holding him

She was holding him in her arms while running to the car
The car was far away, so it took a little while
Sofie drove and drove as fast as she could
Because the water was still rising

The tide was rising fast, real fast
At some point the whole house was underwater
And all inside was lost, no one believed this forecast
But it turned out to be real, and all was lost

I am feeling better
The thoughts are less
Most of the pain has flow out with the river
The river of blood and tears

I am doing better
Therapy is on the move
My mouth is speaking
It helps to process

I have plans for the future
A new house is what I will be looking for
A house for me alone
Just quiet and comfy

I have flashbacks sometimes
Thoughts, memories popping up
From things that remember me of her
But that is okay, as she is a memory

I am doing better
It is going great
The future is near
And I want to meet the future

Nothing is what it ever seems
Nor is it otherwise
Nothing is what it ever sounds
Nor is it otherwise
Nothing is what it ever tastes
Not is it otherwise
Nothing is what it ever smells
Nor is it otherwise

You are important to me
No this is not an empty saying
Because I mean it
And you should know that

I want to thank you
For being there for me
For listening to me
For thinking with me

I wish you all the best
I want you to be happy
Live a happy life
Live it like you want it

And if you ever feel the need
Just talk to me
Speak up your mind
Say what is wrong
Talk about your thoughts
Maybe I can help
If not, we at least had a nice talk
So please don't go
And keep talking
Do it for me? 0:)

Drinking helps me to write
To let the words flow from my mind

Or is it a mere illusion
Is it all the alcohol that makes me think it

There is only one way to find out
I need to read these poems tomorrow again

And feel ashemed of my writing
My writing that isn't even reall nor good

So to you, my future me
Remember you are great
You can't fail, because you are awesome
You can always write what ever you want
You shouldn't feel ashamed of your thoughts
You are great, and you should know that
You I love, I love you

Sweet kisses from me ***

Writing helped me
It helped me to stay sane
It helped me to stay alive
It helped me to stay straight

Writing helped me
To process it all
To keep me from killing myself
To free my mind of the torture

Writing helped me
To meet new people
To make contact with the outer world
To talk about my problems

Writing helped me
To find my self
To get to know my self
To reinvent myself

Thank you, writing
For helping me
For keeping me
For letting me
For being there for me

Does this mean I am lonely
Laying in my bed
Listening to metal ish music
With a slightly tipsied head
Writing poems about my thoughts
Does this mean I am lonely
Because I am drinking alone
My brain racing around
Full of thoughts
Does this mean I am lonely

I hope you will understand
My pain, my fear, my thinking
I have encountered some trouble along the way

I hope you will understand
When I say I am afraid you will leave too
I had a girlfriend, whom I loved to death

I hope you will understand
That I have been broken before
And now I am frightened it will happen again

I hope you will understand
That I love you with all I have
And I hope you won't leave me too

I hope you will understand
That I don't want you to leave me as well
Not as I have been left before

You must know
That I am giving all I can
That I want you in my life
So please don't leave me too
I want you, I need you
You are all I have, all I need
And I love you

Two months has passed by
And I am still alive, still standing
The walls may have crumbled down
And the towers may have been torn down
The flags on the battlements burned away
And the glass in the windows broken
I am still standing, still alive

Another two months will pass by
Because the war is not over yet
The walls must be repaired
And the towers rebuild
The flags remade to give the battlements some color
And the windows reconstructed with glass
I must build, rebuild my castle

In two months
My castle has been torn apart
Walls neglected in the battle
Towers knocked over
Flags burned to keep the warmth
While the cold wind was blowing through the open windows
As the building was under siege from within

The next two months will be a battle
A battle to get back the castle, my castle
The intruders must be thrown out
Chased away into the darkness
So the torches will be lit again
And the music played again

The war is not over
The war is not lost
Not as long as I am still standing
Not as long as the castle still has it's foundation
So let the intrudes know, they must leave
So let the intrudes know, I am coming back
Let them know I will prevail
Let them know I will conquer

Three times in my life
Have I been suicidal
Three times in my life
Did I hate it
Did I want to leave

Three times in my life
And this is the one that's going to cost me
This one is going to cost me my life
This one is killing me

Three times in my life
Have I fallen deep
Two times, have I found hope
A light at the end of the tunnel
But all I found was a spare light
A lit sign that said exit

Three times has life offered me a way out
Three times I couldn't
Three times I should have done it
Three times I tried to stay alive
A million times I wish I had done it
A million times I wish I was gone

Is this life
Is this how it goes
Is this how the rest of life will be
Being depressed
Being suicidal
Being heart broken
If so, I'd better quit
If so, I'd better go
If so, I'd better leave you all

Why is it that when I see you
I go back through memory lane
I feel broken
I start to hate myself even more
I hate it when I see you

Why can't I accept it
That you didn't want to be with me anymore
That you chose an other path
That you needed your life to be yours

Why can't I move on
Why do I keep hurting my self
Why is this so hard
I hate it
I hate it all

Poem, my friend
You are there every time again
You never left me
You never hated me
You, I like

Poem, my friend
I met you three weeks after
I kept meeting you
I never want to lose you

Poem, my friend
Stay with me
Stay against me
Stay for me

Poem, my friend
All I want is you
All I have is you
All I need is you

Poem, my friend
I like you
I adore you
I love you

Poem, my friend
I will not leave you
I will not mess with you
I will not hurt you

Poem, my friend
I am glad to have met you
I am happy to have you
I am happy to keep you

The mind is traveling on it's own
West to South, North to East
It's traveling miles from one side to the other

Thoughts are spinning around
Like a rocket getting out of control
Up and down, right to left

Ideas are popping up
Just the same as a mole pops up to look above ground
Bending backwards over, almost inside out

That little blackhole full of things
It won't rest, it won't sleep
Not when it is in need
In need of space
To think, to be free
To be floating around the earth
Like a hot air balloon

The system is broke
Our way of living is rigged
Why do we need to learn in school
Why do we need to buy our food
Why do we need to approval of someone else

Let us learn one on one, like medevil times
Let us gather our own food like prehistoric people
Let us live on our own
Without social media, with out government
Let us live a simple and happy live

The world is controlling
The world is destroying
The world is dieing
The world is broke
The world is rigged
Just keep it simple
Keep it honest
And we all can live a happy live

Chloe Chloe Chloe
Listen to me
This is not you
Wake up, wake up
Before you fade into darkness

Maxine Maxine Maxine
Why are you no where to be seen
You are not here nor there
Get out of that closet
Before you will forget who you are

James James James
Stop that chase
It's not good, not for you
Stop before you lose your faith

Chloe Maxine James
Come to me
So we can be free
Free from the world's grasp
Come and join me
Come and follow
On the path of freedom

You said those words
"I love you"
But did you every really say them
Or was it more of a "it's what people in love say" thing

You broke my heart
At first I was fine
I was broken for sure

You were the reason
When I realised what really happened
I was gone, gone to the darkness of live

Your absence made me go crazy
I found the light switch
I felt fine, really I did
It was like I fixed my heart

You had me, and lost me
But it never really was a light switch
It was just a mere flashlight
A light that will run out of juice
And I never really fixed my heart
It was just wrapped in ducktape

You are still hurting me
That tape never covered my whole heart
It left open spots
Spots that leak my love, my live, my sanity
From time to time I feel this pain
This emptiness
This absence of sanity

I saw you
Although it was only a glimpse
You were on the same bus as me

I remember the last time I saw you
I picked up my stuff from your house
It ended that day with me standing next to the train tracks

That glimpse of you was enough for me
My heart stopped, it became to heavy
My blood froze in my veins
My body was nailed to the seat

Once the bus stopped
I fled away
I was walking, running
To catch the train

Now again I want to die more then ever
I feel so ****** up
I need to catch that train
I need that train to...

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of you
Every day again
Every hour again

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the past
What we did
What we wanted

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the here and now
How much I hate it
How much I resent it

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without a thought of the future
What it would have looked like
What we would have done

There hasn't been a day gone by
Without my mind being ****** up
Every day again, I torture my self
Every ******* day again, I wish I could travel back in time

The movie in the picture palace
It was a lot of drama
It was like a drama queen
It was about queen

The movie in the motion palace
It made me hate my self
It made me feel so sad
It made me feel broken

The movie in the movie house
It was pain full to see
It was beautiful to hear
It was confronting my live

The movie in the picture house
It made me think
It made me cry silent
It made me feel left alone

The movie in the motion house
It was heart breaking to see
It was reminding me
It was hard to see

The movie in the cinema
It reminded me of what I had
It reminded me of what I could have
It reminded me what love really is like

When will it be Friday
So no one will ask why I drink beer

When will it be Friday
So I don't have to think about school

Please let it be Friday
Because I want to be free