Snow one foot deep
hungry birds on my feeder
chirping Thank You

A soul broken into pieces,
And given an ability to write in return.
As "compensation".
To make people relate,
Getting the tiniest bit of happiness
From their work
While dying slowly.

Today I looked at my belly, and said

I hate you.

Tomorrow, just a little less.

it's not the kind of place
one wishes to return to,
its welcoming embrace
is made to suffocate.
i wish i could stray from
the path that leads me to it,
but it took everything,
it even claimed my name.
and now i've grown to hate it,
the sound of being seen;
shame makes a perfect rope
to hang my self-esteem.
the memories come in pairs,
but always black and white;
i know that place's a trap,
yet i still crawl inside.
now there is all this pain
preventing my escape,
it whispers "welcome back,
it's time to suffocate."

I’m scared.
Scared of everything.
Waking up,
Going to sleep.
Falling in love,
Falling out of it.
Traveling the world,
Leaving my bed.

I’m scared.
Scared of everything.
To make new friends,
To miss out on connection.
Trying something new,
Leaving my comfort zone.
Risking it all,
Playing it safe.

I’m scared.
Scared of everything.