Sunny: Poems

Feb 2018 · 234

Secrets

Sunny Feb 2018

Secrets

I think I compare secrets with lies.
You keep both of them deep inside.
Locked away, for all eternity
Those secrets, those lies, perversity

I’m tired of your words
When you say I’m stupid or wrong, it hurts
I thought I could be loved
But instead, I’m left stunned.

I felt you were keeping something from me
And then, I thought of something—a key.
So I found your phone, and started searching
And I found something concerning

Pictures, of you with him
Touching, kissing, leaving me grim
I thought you said he left you alone
But he returned for more, I should’ve known

When you were distant, I swore it was a phase
But instead you were hiding something behind my gaze
And now, it has been uprooted
My opinions of you—left polluted

My trust in you, shattered
My thoughts, scattered
A feeling’s boiling inside my mind
I think it’s time I’ve stopped being blind

This is the part when I shut you out
This is the part when you shut your mouth
Because no matter what you do or say
Nothing will keep my feelings from being gray

#betrayal #cheating

Feb 2018 · 247

Dog

Sunny Feb 2018

Dog

They’re furry
They’re fluffy
I often find myself rubbing their tummies
I think they’re better than bunnies
Cats scratch my couches
And Birds just end up in my pouches
That’s why I’m going to the pound
And I’ll ignore the ones fooling around
The one I want, the dog I’ll get
That will be one I won’t forget

#dog #cat #bird #pets

Feb 2018 · 162

Love

Sunny Feb 2018

Love

Love is looking at someone, and falling for them at once
Love is trying to confess your feelings up front
Love is acting, without knowing what to do
Love is true
Love is doing things for someone, with nothing to gain
Love is pain
Love is regret
Love is comforting someone when they’re upset
Love is full of tears
Love is full of fears
And anger
Sadness
Desperation
Compassion

Love is…

Heartbreak

#emotions

Feb 2018 · 171

Blanket

Sunny Feb 2018

Blanket

Every blanket is different.
Some blankets are warm.
Some blankets are super cozy.
These are ones you can wrap yourself up in, sleep forever.

Others aren’t warm.
Or soft.
Even when you have them on, you’re still freezing in the dark.
Those are the ones I throw away.

#friendship #toxicity

Feb 2018 · 290

Curiosity

Sunny Feb 2018

Curiosity

As I sit here, writing this, I’m wondering how you’ll react
If you say something mean, prepare to be smacked
Or maybe you’ll say something nice
After all, you’d probably give me good advice
Curiosity is like that urge
That can suddenly emerge
It can kind of feel overwhelming at times
Almost like it’s consuming you alive
Come on, come on, I want to explore!
So I ****** open that front door
My footsteps, loud against the wooden floor
A great mystery is never a bore
Adventure awaits!
So I climb upstairs with great haste
What lies before me is another door
And for some reason, I feel all sore

Behind that door, I see your face
Looking back at me, locked in place
What will you do? What will you say?
Will you just try and push me away?
My eyes widen, my heart beats fast
I want to run, run away from my past

I don’t want to alarm you
I can’t stand seeing you hurt
This constant, nagging pain
Is like an everlasting rain
A giant raincloud, swept over my head
I want to stay in my bed instead
But I know that’s just an excuse
To keep myself from facing the truth

Suddenly, your face lights up
That smile again, it’s so abrupt
And I rush to you, tackling you to the floor
Hugging you with all my heart, bringing all these feelings ashore
I thought I went into this on my own
And your appearance has my mind blown
My heart flutters in my chest
I think a feeling within has coalesced
So, as we walk outside, I tease you with a li’l shove
I think this feeling, it has to be love.

#curiousness #curiosity #romantic #depression #doubt

Feb 2018 · 203

Heartbeat

Sunny Feb 2018

Heartbeat

My heart pounds whenever I see you
I can’t help it…it just keeps going.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
On. And on. And on.
When we stand next to each other, it pounds faster.
We’re standing so close…our shoulders are almost touching.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
My hands interlock yours, they’re rough. Cold.
Yet I hold on anyway.
I can feel your hot breath on my face.
It’s raspy, almost. But it’s soothing.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
We’re even closer than before, it seems.
And I can’t stop looking into your eyes.
They’re…so focused. Like a prowling animal’s eyes.
And when our lips touch, they engage in a dance.
No…not a dance. A battle. Our tongues twisting.
Fighting for control. Dominance.
And this feeling emerges in my chest. It feels so warm.
I feel…complete.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

#beloved #romantic

Feb 2018 · 123

Reason

Sunny Feb 2018

Reason

I suppose there’s a reason for everything.
Like how we eat for nourishment
And drink to refresh our bodies
Or sleep to regain energy.
Those are all common things, right?
But…
I think about other things.
Like how I cry sometimes over nothing
Or how I get sad for no reason at all
Or how my friend has unloving, narcissistic parents.
Would you care to explain that to me?
Because I doubt it’s something like “survival of the fittest,” which applies to nature.
Do we want this? Do we want to be unhappy, moping around about our lives every day?
Or is it something else? Something beyond our control?

Sometimes, I wonder why I’m even here.
There’s a reason for that too, right?

#existential

Feb 2018 · 181

Portrait

Sunny Feb 2018

Portrait

An image.
I look at it from time to time.
It was birthed from nothingness.
I remember those old photos. The ones that developed after some time.
You shook them and they—
It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
A perfect representation of triumph and ambition and strength.
All rolled into one still frame.
It’s unmoving, yet it conveys so much.
It’s powerful, even now, invoking emotions within me I haven’t felt before.
Pride. Determination.
Love.
And then, I realize I’m crying.
Because…I see those things when I look at you.
Are you that portrait? That display of strength?
It doesn’t matter. I…still remember when you wrapped your arms around me.
You become something else in that moment.
A display of…passion. Guardianship. Amorous.
That moment. I can’t shake it.
It’s encapsulated in my mind.

#portrait

Feb 2018 · 144

Unrequited

Sunny Feb 2018

Unrequited

Hey, dummy.
I have this feeling in my tummy.
It feels weird, like a constant pang.
A rhythmic sound in my head, sounding like a bang.
A constant echoing.
That just keeps bellowing.

I’ve always liked you, you know.
Or maybe you don’t, considering you never show
When I want to go to all these places
I swear there’s a crack between the spaces
In my mind
Every request I shot your way, you declined.
It hurts, it hurts so bad
How did I end up feeling this sad?
Day after day, week after week
I can’t help but feel more bleak

I want to confess, I really do.
But I don’t know if you’ll feel the same way too.
Every day, when we hang out
You just want to do your own thing; it feels me with doubt

Whatever, you dummy!
Who cares if I’m feeling more and more crummy?
It doesn’t matter, right? My feelings don’t mean anything.
But then again, I can’t help but feel you’re my everything.
I want to tell you how I feel.
But…are my feelings even real?
I can’t think! I can’t decide!
Why am I still crying inside?

I can’t let you see.
What’s really inside me.
All this pain, it belongs in here
Along with all of these moments I hold dear.
I cherish my time with you.
Sometimes, I’m wondering if my feelings are true.
I’m tired of feeling this way
But I just can’t let you walk away.
If I tell you the truth, what will become of us?
Will you just leave me to turn to dust?

Ugh! I can’t make up my mind!
Am I dense or am I just blind?
The truth is here, right in front of me!
Then why can’t I just let my feelings be?
What am I afraid of?
Am I afraid of rejection or love?
I don’t know, the clouds in my head are swirling.
This pain in my heart…it just keeps burning.
I have to do something to make this stop.
I might as well just let the truth drop.

#romantic

— The End —