How can emptiness be so heavy?

One day, 6 years ago
suddenly it was there
I didn't see it coming
it crawled under my skin
into my head
settled in my thoughts

One day, 6 years ago
I started to feel
how no one should feel
ugly
unworthy
unlovable
suddenly I felt uncomfortable
in my forever home

One day, 6 years ago
my skin
my own body became my prison
my head
my own thoughts felt like hell

One day, 6 years ago
I stopped
eating
sleeping
I became someone
I never imagined to be

One day, 5 years ago
I somehow started to recover
I learned to be good on my own
that I don't need anybody
I recovered on my own

One day, 4 years ago
I realized
those thoughts and habits never left
but it didn't matter
I somehow managed to live with them

One day, 3 years ago
those thoughts became worse
I hid them
no one was allowed to see all this
all this **** that's going on in my head

One day, 2 years ago
I lost every loved one
I felt like I'm losing myself
still with a smile on my face

One day, 1 year ago
I realized how bad i became again
I realized I never truly recovered
my mind was hell itself

One day, today
I haven't become better
but that is not my worst
I want to become better
I truly want to become better.

It's because of you somebody's day is made
Your one smile could mean more than the Worlds' 7 billion
You're loved and cared for,
Even if you don't see it
Wipe those tears away
I'll always be here

Why do You Hate Me

Why do You Hate Me
I am your Neighbor
I so much could be a Friend
To love another is kind

I want Peace to Rule
You want so much hate
Hate gets more hate
Love gets you Peace

When you make others fear you
You just make it worse
I want better for all
So Hate must fall

Remove that which hurts us all
Let Humans rule Humans
Be kind and love this world
Blow the wind of Change

Undo the shackles of hate
Spread your wings of freedom
Change our fate
Before it is To Late

i haven't eaten lunch in a few days
and i already don't eat breakfast
now i'm starting to eat less at dinner too
why is it that
when you see the numbers on the scale go down
it becomes addicting?

Somedays we work,
Some nights we cry,
Sometimes I lay on the floor and stare into nothing,

For all the somethings in life,
One thing is true,
It's always okay to be you.