These feelings need to die
Because they aren't doing me any good.
They've already grown roots-
Holding onto the deepest part of my mind.
& it *****.
It really really *****.
Cause it's all I think about.
It's all I see when I turn around.
& I know, oh, I know,
How dangerous these thoughts can be.
So I'll grab a knife to
Cut out these silly little feelings.
I'll take a hammer
And nail my heart up.
I'll layer bricks high
Just to keep you out of sight.
& though it might hurt just a tad,
It's probably better this way.

There aren’t a lot of things in this world that make me truly happy; in fact upon further reflection, there's nothing at all that completely does other than you, things merely distract me from the inescapable fact that I've been perpetually lonely my entire life up to this point. Only the thought of you distracts me long enough to make time without you bearable, to make me hold on just a little longer to see you again so you can fill the void in my soul that has been eating at my stomach since you left. I love you like this. And when you aren’t around me images of you age backwards in my memory and comfort me to the point of almost wholeness and at the same time a vast emptiness. Knowing that thoughts of you aren’t the same as your lips on my forehead and that they don’t fix the loneness I tend to align myself with without you here. When you’re gone I stick my hands in my pockets more. I thumb the hole in the bottom of that fabric feeling for the last penny to my name and realizing that it slipped down through that whole, through my pant leg, onto strange and unknown ground. That is something like how I feel without you. Like how I can remember touching you at some point and wanting to hold onto you for dear life but the second I let go, you fell through a hole that I couldn’t follow you through. So now I am penniless. That is the most heart sinking feeling. Being so lonely that my heart swells with heavy emptiness; it falls through my body down to my feet and I am forced to stomp on it with every step I take. Each stride squeezing out more and more blood so that by the time I have walked miles to see you again I pass out in your arms.  I tell you, “Lovely to see you again, I missed you so much.” Then I am happy and whole again.

I was in the perfect position
everything was in place
then my pulse started to race
and i made a terrible decision
while in a liquid induced trance
that cost me my one and only chance

I did something foolish
she's as beautiful as a fresh bloomed flower
so i told her i wanted more
i gave her my doomed power

so now she wants me no more
the mystery that surrounded me has vanished
any rising feelings for me banished
her past is her fear and her heart is soar

the worst part....
these words that escaped the cage of my heart
through the trap door underneath my tongue
the same ones the threw water upon the embers
of a fire that could have outlasted time its self
came from a night
i don't even remember

In my storm
you were the gentle whisper
that calms the mad waves..*
A stray of light
from summer sun
that gives warmth in the cold
This battle I fought alone is no more,
with your touch that fills up what’s missing
Emptiness is no more with just a breath that I take from you
You willingly offered,
Forgetting everything that should matter
For a moment, though I know this is not love
But for the first time, I felt right
Even if it is wrong
I don’t know what you see in me
I don’t know if I deserve this
But somehow I know
These memories with you
I will cherish and keep
The soothing words of want and admirations

I don’t want to know when this ends
I just want to live for a moment