shoulder to shoulder
psst, hey, see the girl
next to you?
you should hold her

bolder and bolder,
like a butch boulder,
they smile and
glance at my lips.

sweet hugs and
warmness touch and
talk of baking,
future plans.

we'll make all the
rainbow cupcakes.

get all the
genderless clothing.

one look
is not a future
written in ink,
but here's hoping.

I want to cut my hair
I don't want to cut my hair

It weighs me down
drags me along the
trenches of gender stereotypes

People look at me,
think,
"That's a girl."
And I'll turn the color
of diluted self-harm blood; pink.
Maybe I'll give
Being androgynous
a whirl.

It gets all knotty
I keep it in a dull, bland ponytail
I don't think it deserves more
Nor I

But if I cut it,
I'll still be in the stereotype

Here,
Another Queer!
Look there,
At their hair!
Probably gay,
By the way!

And what if I look stupid besides?

Tears drowning chestnut eyes
As I sing brokenly along to "sing!" playlist,
Wincing inwardly at my awful voice,
Which is caught between male and female,
No, no, stop, no,

Don't even think about auditioning.

A career stopped in its tracks
before I can even dream.

I believe that she's a goddess
in all her female, feline glory
every worry seems to fade
when I stroke her from neck to tail

Pine-tree eyes gazing from underneath the table,
a rarely used mew like the tinkling of chimes,
intricate silkiness intersewn with sable,
and a glinting little bell collar, shining like new dimes

I hardly ever see her,
but she's there when I need her,
as if bleeding saltwater
causes her to feel friendly.

If I ever have to leave this earth,
I want to find the feline hearth,
with all of its eternal worth.

If something,
someone ends me,
That's where she'll send me.