You used to tell me you loved me to the moon and back.

I used to disagree, and the truth is, I still love you more than that.

I want to be in your arms again; I want to feel home.

Instead of in my mind; this secluded dome.

You made each and every flowers bloom.

You were gorgeous, and made everyone smile in the room.

You made me feel so good, despite the clouds being gray.

We used to dance for hours in the rain; now I can't even sway.

With you gone, my heart feels like it continuously is breaking.

My whole world is unstable; you grounded me; it is shaking.

It's hard staying alive during the day without getting high.

Because then I feel out of my body, and I can just stare at the sky.

But even then, the clouds remind me of you.

You were green; alive. And now I'm faded; blue.

I say my favorite color is yellow because it is sweet.

It really is green, but I don't feel green. I find it hard to get on my feet.

I am becoming a whisper; my soul fading to black.

Everything I write is for you, I just need you back.

I want to be a worm coming up to breathe.

But worms cannot survive in negative fifty degrees.

So I'll rapidly lose myself; I'll show less and less.

Until I am no longer me, but a melted mess.

I long for a feeling that I belong; that I am home.

I want to be a young boy, amidst the sounds of Rome.

I long to be in a crowded cafe, enjoying the morning wind.

I want to put my feet in ancient sand; my soul feeling thinned.



I feel so tired of being tired, like any moment I'll fall.

I am a young boy, scared of the dark and running down a hall.

I sit in my bed, closing the curtains and sighing alone.

I am dragging myself to the bathroom, wishing my body felt like my own.



I long to be a small child, unable to understand.

I wish everything was colorful again, instead of so bland.

I long to watch the sunsets and breathe in life with purity.

I wish I was being held by warm hands; that feeling of security.



I feel like someone set me on fire; I sit ablaze.

I am a jumbled pile of thoughts, lost in a daze

I stand on two feathers, sinking into a pool of thoughts.

I am no longer interested in the world; I am tied in knots.

Stars laid out before me on this ever haunting eve,
seem to laugh in all their glory, while I can only grieve.
For myself and for others, and all with our disease,
our silence is solace for the ones we'll soon bereave.

I've laid my last brick and the wall's standing proudly,
a monument to the filth which always surrounds me.
It is me.

And I'm feeling kind of good again,
knowing the bricks keep all safe from my sin,
that with time no one will remain,
bringing a day with the ending of pain.

Sometimes I struggle to peak over my wall,
jumping and screaming to no one at all,
wondering if anyone is out there still waiting,
and knowing they aren't is sometimes frustrating.

Of course there is no one left anymore,
and saddened as I am, that's what walls are for.
I did this with purpose and now I can bleed,
with no one to be hurt by my dying deed.