I long for my skin to purple and blue;

I want every inch of flesh to be cold.

Sometimes blood covers my arms, like a tattoo.

I'm unsure what I'm feeling these days,

It's anything but normal,

because I feel as light as feather.

I wish everything would just stop;

every single thought that invades my lonely mind left.

Right now it seems like my body just dropped.

But how do I pick myself from the ground,

when the silence is so ******* loud;

is what I'm hearing real, or is my brain just making its own sounds?

I find it hard to find satisfaction,

so I've been doing these things,

Just to cause a reaction.

Lately I haven't been able to tell if I'm awake,

but I find the less I show of myself,

the harder it is for me to break.

I lay on the cold floor trying to find sleep,

yet I stay up all night,

I tried to learn to swim, and now I'm far too deep.