You know the saying "misery loves company"? Well I disagree.  Misery isolates. Misery isolates itself in the vague darkness of aganizing memories and broken dreams. Misery is a cold being, comforting to some, and a burden for others. It comes to you when you have found all the peices. It acts like a solvent and dissolves the glue that holds your life together. It breaks apart friendships and dissasembles the "good life" you once thought you had. The feeling of misery is like a cold shiver down your spine, it makes its presence known. The face of misery it that of a nightmsre that wakes you up at night with cold sweats. I know the face of misery, and it knows me.

Have you ever felt the weight pushing down on your chest?/ how your not enough for a world that still chases a ghost/ I’m alive in a lifeless hell/ moving around in a hollow shell/ complacency never cared for me/ I’m alone in a house that dependency built/

Anxiety is always haunting me/ lie awake each night just so I can breath again/ bury me, I never wanted to leave/ the cycle repeats in my heart so endlessly/

Take this away/ the sign of the times invaded my eyes/ just let go/ a leap of faith has never been answered/ someone save me, I’m burning alive/ I was never the same when darkness arrived/ will you let me go?/

Find me hollowed out/ carving my eulogy straight to the bone/ nothing to cling to when I’m on my own/ / bleeding the veins so I can feel again/ I’m numb to the feeling of agony/ it’s all I’ve ever known/ I can’t overcome these waves/ dragging me down below/ my demons have a hold of me/ pain in every breathe, I can’t control these memories/ I can’t see the light inside of me/

When it rains, it ******* pours/ I’ve been here before/ drag me up the shore/ anchored to the ocean floor/ I can’t contain, this tidal wave/ open up the flood gates/ let the levee break/

No time to pray/ god’s been getting in the way/ pushed to the brink/ when there’s nowhere left to sink/ knock down, the barricade/ nowhere to see, no light in the dark/

I’m caught again in the mess I’ve made/ all alone in the eye of the hurricane/ counting waves rolling over me/ can someone save me from this, before I’m swept away by the flood/

Can anybody hear me, I’m not found/ out under the sun for days in this hell/ and what I paid for my sins/ would send most men straight to there end/ when will this end?/ the tide drags me out again and again/

I’ve got a mind like an ocean, an anchor for a heart/ the only peace I’m guaranteed/ is buried underneath/ the rain has caught me now/ will I drown in my sleep?/ there will never be peace, when you’re looking through the clouds/ I’m lost under the surface/

I’m caught again in the mess I’ve made/ all alone in the eye of the hurricane/ counting waves rolling over me/ can someone save me from this, before I’m swept away by the flood/

I’ve got nothing left to say/ when all is lost, and what’s said is said/ The currents killing me/ I’m drowning again/ let the storm come for me/

You know what?
A cigarette sounds good right now,
Felling the suffocating smoke,
Makes my head spin,
The smoke dancing in the sky,
The rancid smell of sweet tobacco,
Is an inviting invitation.

I frantically struggle to reach my pack,
My hands tremble at the though of a release,
The lighter flickers and sparks,
This cycle seems tireless,
A daunting light emerges from sparks.

The world is motionless in envy,
The crackle of burning paper sets me off,
My mind races with a nicotine high,
The problems of reality run away at every puff.

The fire hits the brim of the filter,
An eternity it seemed,
I toss the **** to the ground,
A silence rolls over me,
A realization I believe,
My scars are not wiped clean,
But are drowned out.

Reality is my adversary,
Nefarious to the end,
Nicotine clears my conscious,
But doesn't erase the memories,
Only time can clear them,
But for now,
Ill escape reality for a few minutes.

The screaming never stops,
The piercing pain never ends,
One more day of this and surely i wont make it till tomorrow.
Why can no one hear it?
Is it all in my head?
Am i going insane?
I plead and shout for god to take my pain away,
But god never came.
Finger on the trigger i replay my life,
Now im sure this is now it ends.
The curtain closes and i take my bow,
The shows over,
You can all go home.

I here the whispering of the walls that surround me,
They talk of my memories and tragedies that glimmer in the distance,
The halls fantasize of having a voice to speak freely,
Not having to stay still with a blank expression,
I lay on my bed positioned parallel to the wall, hearing the words of condescending judgment.

I start to drown it out with the subconscious thought of a dead,
frozen winter with snow that covers the ground.
This season i long for to feel the numbing rush of arctic blast,
And the shimmering of white flakes descending from the sky,
Compacting on the ground.

I stand out in the cold motionless in envy of being free,
Blown in the wind to escape the erratic reality of being trapped.
The hollow creaking of the trees haunts my dreams,
Acting as a soul from long ago.

I stand here waiting as winter passes with a swift, but devastating,
Toll on my mind as if i was a snowflake falling in the dead of winter.

I found myself caught in the wind,
The air was cold,
But my skin was colder,
The air dragged me to the edge of the woods,
I was a little skeptical at first,
But a voice in my head said the go,
I gave in and entered.

As a walk i hear the sticks crack under my boots,
The air gets crisp,
And my air starts shimmering,
I see a creek,
The water races over the jagged rocks.

The water grows iridescent,
Colorful as i walk,
The trees sway with the wind,
Leaves crumble the the scurry of animals,
The scene was one out of a painting,
I couldn't believe my eyes,

I hear the singing of the birds,
A melodic song in my head,
The sunlight breaks through the branches,
Light resting on my face.

My time was over,
I leaves this wonder land,
But a question comes to mind,
Why isn't the rest of the world like this?

You took everything from me,
Left me to waste away,
Left me to fall apart

You might have taken my heart,
My love,
My soul,
And even my pride,
But you will never take away my hope.

When i feel empty,
All alone,
And when the world has forsaken me,
Hope will be my beacon in the dark,
A light to help me carry on.

When you rip my heart out and steal it away,
Hope will be my artificial source of love,
When my emptiness turns to rage,
Hope take my rage and turns it into happiness.

So go ahead,
Steal my heart,
Take away my possessions,
And sell my soul,
Hope will be stronger than anything you throw at me.

Its a fore to reckon with,
Hope helps even the weakest of souls,
My sorrows have all been washed away,
Your memory slips from my mind,
Hope is my guide in the night, and you are the shadows that are in my way.

I thought i was alone,
Wandering the earth in despair,
Forgetting my past,
Memories i cant suppress,
The lowest I have ever been.

I would pop pills to escape reality,
Numbing me to feel nothing,
Thinking it would hear my blood spilled scars,
The scars of my past.

My heart was black,
Miserable in a way,
My blackened heart pleaded for help,
But no one was listening,
Not even me.

I wasn't fooling anyone,
I was only fooling myself,
My pain was obvious,
It played a tune of melancholy hopelessness.

The cuts run deep,
Deeper than the ocean,
More iridescent than the sky,
Each one has a story,
No story like the other.

My eyes have grown tired,
Blurry with every blink,
They stare blankly,
Soulless in every way.

A blinding light brightens my life,
And then there she stood,
An angel in disguise,
My angel.

When i even catch a glimpse of her,
Her eyes chip away at the dark,
The dark that surrounds my heart,
Her eyes are even more beautiful than the seasons,
Her eyes pierce my heart and latch on.

My eyes that were blacker than midnight,
Glow like the stars,
My scars vanish into thin air,
My past is blocked my her never ending beauty.

I only wish she could be mine,
She can free me from my internal prison,
She can find the key that is lost.

My life starts now,
I know than i can carry on,
I'm gonna take the world on,
Showing everyone that i can recover,
Things will get better,
I will live my life like there is no tomorrow,
i will never slip away.

Theres nothing to say
A disease spreads around your heart
Was it the weight of the world?
Or were you broken from the start?
Dont leave me empty handed
Just let me set you free
Lost and abandoned
Ill carry you with me

You only have one chance
Please dont waste it
You only have one life
Dead God please dont take it

Take these wings and fly
I see you falling away
I couldn’t leave you today
I couldn’t leave you to die
we can make it to the sunrise
I feel your heart beating tonight
You need to hold on(hold on)
So please just breathe
Just breathe

From the coldest decay
I see you can feel it in your bones
When you fade away
Theres nothing left, theres nothing at all
Ill savor the silence
Can you hear me calling your name?

So please come back to me
I cant feel you any more
Please come back to me
Dont turn your back and walk away

Dont live your life hanging on to yesterday  

Take these wings and fly
I see you falling away
I couldn’t leave you today
I couldn’t leave you to die
we can make it to the sunrise
I feel your heart beating tonight
I need you to hold on(hold on)
So please just breathe


You only have one chance
Please dont waste it
You only have one life
Dead God please dont take it

Another day goes by,
Still I’m a ghost in your eyes,
I long for the feeling when you see the real me,
Down on my luck,
I still wish i was more than a passing glimpse
Center stage is where i wish i lived,
Instead of the hell i hold in my heart.

A dream is an occurrence of images,
Sensations ones mind in-visions in the night,
To me a dream is all you are,
I fell nothing more than a mirage,
An illusion to the rest of the world.

I wonder the earth looking high and low,
Searching for the woman i need,
Break me from the shackles i bear,
Living inside my internal prison,
I ask for gods forgiveness,
But god doesn’t know I’m there.

I try to give the world all i have,
But the world hands me a tightened rope,
I raise my fists to scream and shout,
My please have fallen on deaf ears.
I feel that i am speaking in tongues,
Where are you my guardian angel?
My savior in blue and gold.
Have you heard my calls?
Breathless i fall to my knees,
Begging that someone will answer me.
Can you hear me?
Are you listening?

For what it’s worth,
I hope your happy without me.
But what does it matter what i say,
I was nothing to you anyway.
But isn’t that the American Dream?
Getting your heart broken by a girl who you know will never love you.
Devoting your entire life to find your way into her heart and hoping,
By some miracle she will let you stay.
Opening your heart and hoping that maybe some day some how she will love you the same way a mother loves her child or the way Wall Street loves the stock market.

All i want is to be wanted in a cold world,
But all the blankets are taken.
Im cold to the touch as i fall from grace.
Will someone save me?
Numb and alone I abandoned ship as i sink to the bottom of the bottle.
As I’m drowned by my demons and i stare down the barrel of life,
You are there to pull be above the surface.
Never before have i seen so much beauty and radiance come from one heavenly body.

Her eyes pierced my heart and soul while her smile captivated my broken heart.
The light that practically surrounded her pulls me from me from my darkness.
I always thought happy endings where a luxury to the strong, and the weak stood to suffer, all my dreams came to life.
When i thought all was lost,
You took my finger off the trigger,
You saved my life.

The road that lays ahead shows me nothing but hollow minds and burning hearts.
Rip me open and Ill show you I’m to far gone to care.
Peel back my eyelids so I can show you the pain scared into my soul.
I try and tell myself that this pain will eventually pass,
but even now I can’t believe the lie.
Maybe I was born this way,
or maybe I was cursed to carry this around.
What lies within is kept under lock and key,
And I’m to afraid to show the world the real me,
the angry me,
the lonely me,
the burning me,
the fading me.

Maybe we were never meant to be
I never saw the warning signs
Maybe I was never good enough
Dark clouds washed away the sun

And if you call my name, Can you hear
The echos coming from the halls
I’m not your criminal, bound by the
Chains you tied around my wrists

And you let me down
Stabbed my back, just to watch me bleed
Left me all alone
You cut me out, just to watch me fall
I saw the devil in her eyes
It’s eating me alive

And she screams at me
Throwing empty words like hand grenades
And I’m losing sleep
Singing songs of broken serenades

I always seem to lose myself in you
Even when you don’t want me to
Ashes to ashes, we’re turning to dust
An eye for an eye, we slowly start to rust

And you let me down
Stabbed my back, just to watch me bleed
Left me all alone
You cut me out, just to watch me fall
I saw the devil in her eyes
It’s eating me alive


My mind feels like a battlefield
Every breath is a war
My hearts on the frontlines
I can’t take it anymore

Take my hand, just to stand again
Broke myself, just to feel the pain
Finding words, nothing real yet
Shadows walk in line with you and I
Hoping we can show them the light again
Can we find ourselves and fight another way?
Or are we made to decay?

Before I am sealed by the light,
Take my hand,
And sing your prayers with me.
Before you at this moment,
Stands a tired and broken man.
And just like glass,
My heart breaks the same.
Like the winds of winter,
I am the coldest,
When I’m at my lowest.
Return me to the earth,
As I ascend to heaven,
Free and unshackled.

On the first day
In fires wake
We Clutch our bleeding hearts
We hold our breath
Just to watch the life fade from our tired eyes
We sold our souls for hearts of gold
But all we found were silver lies
We braved the darkest harbors,
And drug ourselves through shallow waters,
With anchors tied around our waists
All in all we keep pressing on
To find a place to call our home

Hollow Heart

I’m lost and alone inside my mind
(Locked away)
But I’m just to weak to find the way out
Someone save me from myself
(Darkness closing in)
But I’m just to numb to fight right now
I lost the pieces holding me
And I start to fade away

Now I’m lost in the haze
I’m caught in the blaze
how can I stop the fire filling up my eyes
All these scars will remain
And I’m the one to blame
I can’t fight the fear flowing through my veins
Bury me down with all my sins
God take this hollow heart away

I don’t wanna stay awake and be afraid
Just to fall asleep and face my dreams,
Not again,
It feels like everyday I waste away
Feels like every smiles killing me,
So suffocating,
I wanna find my saving grace
To teach me how to reach for help
But the guilt is just so ******* blinding
And I can’t hold on
I can’t hold on

Now I’m lost in the haze
I’m caught in the blaze
how can I stop the fire filling up my eyes
All these scars will remain
And I’m the one to blame
I can’t fight the fear flowing through my veins
Bury me down with all my sins
God take this hollow heart away

I’ll sing you a drunken lullaby
With whiskey on my breath
But the hardest part through it all
Is holding on to what we have
And to what we leave behind
Though the pain leaves scars
I still feel you here when I count the stars

On the second day
We are lost,
As the tides move higher up the shores.
I’m crushed by the crashing waves,
And broken from the sand and sun.
These numbing thoughts send me down below,
Through the eyes of the undertow.
When my mind is set on fire,
My eyes create valleys of water.
Until the day I breathe my last,
I’m afraid,
I’ll always sail through the maw of the hurricane.

When the skies return to grey,
Will our hearts want to stay?
When we’ve given up our hope,
Will we find it at the end of a rope?
When our lungs suddenly collapse,
Will our feelings start to relapse?
When we slowly grow more insane,
Will the poison rush into our veins?
When the dark turns to dawn,
Will our pain soon be gone?

lost
Trapped in the shadows,
Banished to the darkest thoughts and memories.
is there a god to save me?
Been pushed back to far for you to pull me back to were i was,
im sick of being here alone,
cant find my way back home,
every move i make has got me stuck in the darkest place,
i feel as im being held at the end of my rope
i wanna believe that there is still hope,
every day i ask my self if this is real,
i wonder how long it will take for me to heal,
im feeling so cold,
Maybe I was born to walk this earth alone,
wondering im the darkness to find the light,
the light to guide me home.