I came back to where you ripped me into pieces
My heart was pounding twice harder when you're near

But it was not fear that I'll remember every strand of pain
It was delight that I could finally come back and feel nothing

(sometimes)


my favorite
wine glass
broke today,
shattered.

faded purple glass,
heavy in my hand
a crackled texture.

i was
careless.

i put it too
close
to the
edge.

i remember
buying it.
choosing it.
only buying
one,
because i
am just one.

i'm mad at
myself
for becoming
attached
to a
piece of
glass.

because all
my favorite
things
break,
crack,
fall away.

and now there is
glass in
my foot
to remind me

of all
the things
i place
too close
to the edge.

and then the rain fell

I relapsed
and went deeper then I should've
the blood spilling all over the concrete floor
the blade finding its way to the vein

I failed
and said more then I should've
the words spewing all down his bare chest
the secrets escaping my ever so careful tongue

I lied
and went farther then I should've
the clothes falling to the overseeing floor
the hands grasping for something he could never give

I cried
and screamed louder then I should've
the sobs echoing the empty hallways of a broken home
the tears falling from a heart heavy with shame and pain

I left
and closed the door harder then I should've
the handle thrown out of an angry hand
the frame shaking with the rage of a girl who

went father then she should've

You wanted a butterfly
But only peeped in
On a mere caterpillar
Unsure on the process
  Of using wings
And when she did
You gazed upon her lovingly
Your butterfly lips ******* on her skin like mandarin oranges
Next spring you'll go away
To find another butterfly
In her cocoon is where she will **stay

Please master can I touch your cheeck
please master can I kneel at  your feet
please master can I loosen your blue pants
please master can I gaze at your golden haired belly
please master can I have your thighs bare to my eyes
please master can I take off my clothes below your chair
please master can I can I kiss your ankles and soul
please master can I touch lips to your hard muscle hairless thigh
please master can I lay my ear pressed to your stomach
please master can I wrap my arms around your white ***
please master can I lick your groin gurled with blond soft fur
please master can I touch my tongue to your rosy *******
please master may I pass my face to your *****,
please master order me down on the floor,
please master tell me to lick your thick shaft
please master put your rough hands on my bald hairy skull
please master press my mouth to your *****-heart
please master press my face into your belly, pull me slowly strong thumbed
till your dumb hardness fills my throat to the base
till I swallow and taste your delicate flesh-hot ***** barrel veined Please
Mater push my shoulders away and stare in my eyes, & make me bend over
        the table
please master grab my thighs and lift my *** to your waist
please master your hand's rough stroke on my neck your palm down to my
        backside
please master push me, my feet on chairs, till my hole feels the breath of
        your spit and your thumb stroke
please master make my say Please Master **** me now Please
Master grease my ***** and hairmouth with sweet vaselines
please master stroke your shaft with white creams
please master touch your **** head to my wrinkled self-hole
please master push it in gently, your elbows enwrapped round my breast
your arms passing down to my belly, my ***** you touch w/ your fingers
please master shove it in me a little, a little, a little,
please master sink your droor thing down my behind
& please master make me wiggle my rear to eat up the ***** trunk
till my asshalfs cuddle your thighs, my back bent over,
till I'm alone sticking out, your sword stuck throbbing in me
please master pull out and slowly roll onto the bottom
please master lunge it again, and withdraw the tip
please please master **** me again with your self, please **** me Please
Master drive down till it hurts me the softness the
Softness please master make love to my ***, give body to center, & **** me
        for good like a girl,
tenderly clasp me please master I take me to thee,
& drive in my belly your selfsame sweet heat-rood
you fingered in solitude Denver or Brooklyn or ****** in a maiden in Paris
        carlots
please master drive me thy vehicle, body of love drops, sweat ****
body of tenderness, Give me your dogh **** faster
please master make me go moan on the table
Go moan O please master do **** me like that
in your rhythm thrill-plunge & pull-back-bounce & push down
till I loosen my ******* a dog on the table yelping with terror delight to be
        loved
Please master call me a dog, an *** beast, a wet *******,
& **** me more violent, my eyes hid with your palms round my skull
& plunge down in a brutal hard lash thru soft drip-fish
& throb thru five seconds to spurt out your ***** heat
over & over, bamming it in while I cry out your name I do love you
please Master.

                                        May 1968

I committed
You saw
You fell apart
You couldn't find a note
I committed
You learned at last
Of my emptiness
Leaving nothing in this world
I never wanted to exist anyway
I committed tonight
You had to fight the urge
To follow my path yourself
I am selfish
They say they say
I say they are oblivious
Have you ever lived life
Day by day
Feeling like you never belonged
In our world
Or anywhere and nowhere
Nowhere and no one
I committed tonight
I don't want to be
Your cold dead ghost