One minute
I believe I'm okay.

But then I
take a moment

and I think,
and the tears

come again.
So fast

they can't be
stopped.

When I say
that you are my Sun,
I don’t mean that you are
Luminous,
Brilliant,
Gilded,
Beautiful,
Bold,
Warm,
Or even the center of my universe.
I simply mean that
I cannot look at you
Without hurting

Did you ever felt like jumping off a cliff,
Not because you wanted to die,
But because you can?
Because no one is going to stop you?
Because you want to see the aftermath?
Did you?

What I wouldn’t give

To know

For sure

That you love me

You tell me yes,

But everything else about you says no

What i wouldn’t give

To be loved

By someone

i fell in love with the words you said,
so i strung them up above my bed.
but the shadows played tricks upon my eyes,
and your beautiful words turned into lies.

Teardrops spill their ink as my pen keeps the score.  Dropped into prayer, I'm calling for a lifeline.

i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too

Can the entire ocean
all be swallowed by my eyes.
If I make it to the moon,
will I then feel left behind.
Is there an end to the world,
that is decided by time.
Will I see beauty so great,
that I truly must go blind.
At the end of the last road,
will at least all colors rhyme.
I fear the war will not stop,
these enemies in my mind.