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Xaela San Feb 2020
I'm willing to walk a hundred more steps
Just to be with you even for a short moment
Just to spend a little moment alone with him.
Xaela San Feb 2020
It's hard to disconnect oneself
from the attachment of familiarity
one has built through the years.
Everything in college is overwhelmingly new. I found it difficult to adjust to another environment. New people. New place
.....

I miss my friends. The memories. The laughters... I miss their company...
If only I can always be with them
But this is life. Life must go on. We have our own paths. Dreams and goals in life.
  Feb 2020 Xaela San
TurttleQuack
OCD
This disease struck me
Like a brick on pavement
Hard

Everything was
Perfect
Then that brick came along
And with the slightest movement
Destroyed everything

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
The voices say

Why can’t I let them go?
They keep repeating:

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
Why won’t they stop

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
I don’t understand

“Count it
Perfect it
Measure it
Clean it”
Someone just HELP me understand

This disease is about
Perfection
But it's the biggest
Imperfection about me
Xaela San Feb 2020
I found it easier to lie
To just smile
Pretending to be fine

Than to explain
What I truly feel
To people who won't listen
When they speak I listen, but if it's my turn they won't.
  Feb 2020 Xaela San
Donall Dempsey
I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.
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