i. you will miss him in drizzles and monsoons, in swells and tsunamis. you will listen to his favorite song for hours; it will hit you every unexpected moment. it will hurt, stab, ache, and you will suppress constant screams with strained lips.

ii. you will collect everything he gave to you and wonder if it is dimensionally real. you will sleep in his shirts, retaste saltwater kisses, and reread conversations as if there's something you missed the previous thirty times. absence does not make the heart grow fonder; it rips it apart and you cannot stitch the ragged halves with no thread.

iii. you will feel his touch presently in everything you do. it will be soft and cruelly comforting. it will constantly and inescapably linger. it will haunt you in early rainy mornings and dark lonely evenings.

iv. you will read endless musings on love and philosophy. you will entirely understand foucault's prison. you will live in steinbeck's tide pools and stars, and relate to simon bolivar trapped in his labyrinth. you will wonder why everything is like this, ugly and broken (and also if you are becoming delusional).

v. you will drink tea that scalds your tongue and stand outside on freezing nights, numb and overfeeling at the same time. you will ask the silent moon a thousand questions. you will see him and blink, head swimming, heart pounding in surges. the stars will wink and the wind will mock you.

vi. you will have blissful afternoons you forget and sorrowful nights you remember. it will still consume you in bouts, devour you in spells. nighttime will become both your enemy and remedy: it will wickedly remind you, yet help you heal.

vii. you will try and fail to make sense of him (and the universe in general). you will grapple with reality and yourself. perhaps you will never know why he stopped loving you: you will keep wondering how some things can just be left broken.

iix. slowly, slowly, you will sprout on your own; you will be tender and nearly whole. most importantly, you will realize his love brought you an entirely different kind of happiness.

ix. you will stop worrying and trying to piece together an empty puzzle. even the deepest scars find their way of fading. your mom was right: stop picking at the scab and your wound will heal.

x. you will learn to love yourself in ways he never could have loved you.

I dont want to be the bold words
Yelling to be noticed

Nor the italics
Wanting to be different

Not even the commas and periods
That set the pace and flow

I want to be the silence
The beauty unheard

Present in all works, that's what i want to be
Nothing more than the spaces in between

You say you understand but you don't
you think you know us but you don't
we feel trapped all the time
and alone
we're the ones that con you
not for evil but for companionship.

Have you ever hated something so much
you fantasize about going crazy
just to escape this horrible reality.
We're the ones that don't qualify as normal
we're the ones that see the world differently
and finaly we're the ones that finds society
STUPID

i see you in her
the way she just loves to argue
drives me insane, she does
but all i can feel for her is love
i see you in her
that mischievous smile
the little spark in her eyes
reflecting the light in her soul
i see you in her
the jump in her step
the snort in her laugh
the odd little things she finds funny
i see you in her
the determination
the strength
she refuses to let anyone push her down
and always stands tall again

she may have my speckled eyes
my curls and my toes
but in the end its your spirit in her
and she also has your nose
its miraculous to see
how she's like you and me
and at the same time
a personality all in herself
she's a wonder, she is
just like you
i've lived loving one of you
**and now i've got two!

Lit cigarette sits in the ashtray
Bottle caps scattered all around
Silence the only sound
She takes a drag as he takes a sip
Next to each other but a million miles apart
Out in the world it's a shell made of rainbows and butterflies
Hand holding and loving stares
Behind these four walls it all falls apart
She wonders where she's gone
What used to feel so right now feels so wrong
He looks in her eyes to find the light that's gone away
There's nothing he won't do to bring her back
But it's out of his hands
He'll be patient, he'll wait
In his heart he knows she'll be back one day
She traces get steps but seems to have lost her way
He can see she cares
Even through the blank stares
He can see her under there

I know you're biting on your tongue
so hard you might bleed
Holding your breath,congesting your lungs
But the words are biting you with greed
Your face is flashing red and pink
You have a lot boiling, trying to decide

I don't know what to think
But I'm no longer at ease
Even if I don't know what it is
Your eyes are trying to speak
but I can't decrypt their silence
you're pale and looking sick
has something come between us
and by asking I'm making it worse?
Why are you suddenly cold
Is it something you were told

Speak, why have the smiles died
and your face says you've cried?
why is your hair looking wild
Has someone hurt you love child?
You know when you hurt I hurt
You know you have my heart
I'm breaking the more in the uncertainty
I'm losing the grip on sanity
Are you afraid I won't understand
you know I understand, I try
speak dove, don't just cry
Your tears are a thing I can't stand