A noose is looking mighty fine,
Cause I'm again walking that line,
Between sobriety and thinking about the first drink,
And I know just what my friends and parents would think,
I've soared straight off the high dive again,
Right into the deep end, my oldest friend,
I've been here before, so many many ******* times,
And it's sad that he can bring me to toeing the line,
But I loved him, and even if his wife doesn't believe me,
What we had was real, and I just hope one day she sees,
How horrible a person he is,
And gets up and leaves,

Because no one deserves to be treated like this,
Like they're trash or less than, like a *******,
And I'm not, we're not, we're beautiful works of art,
That they don't see it that way, is not our fault,
And we will rise above the words they try to make us hurt,
Because we are stronger than they thought we were,

And they try to break us down,
Make us out to be the clowns,
When they're the one's we should've been laughing at,
And it's not funny when your wife called me fat,
It's not my problem that you lied,
And at points I wanted to die,
But you don't care about that,
Bet you wouldn't shed a tear, that's a fact,
Do you care they I've downed a bottle of pills?
To try to cope with how you made me feel,
Or that I put a noose around my neck,
And stood on a chair, but I take it all back,

Because no one deserves to be treated like this,
Like they're trash or less than, like a *******,
And I'm not, we're not, we're beautiful works of art,
That they don't see it that way, is not our fault,
And we will rise above the word they try to make us hurt,
Because we are stronger than they thought we were,

And I will not die for you, or waste another breath,
You are not worth my life let alone my death.

I miss you every single day,
I'm sorry you don't feel the same way,
And I won't use this as an excuse,
To reach for some Jose or a noose,
Because this is toxic **** that needs to go,
Right out the door, and lock the window,
Because there's too much hurt and pain,
In the short amount of time you made me insane,

Papi, I liked the way you did things in bed,
And yeah, I got a little addicted to the way you gave head,
But nothing is worth my sobriety or my life,
So that's why this is last text you'll get from me, Goodbye,

Because even though you were my everything,
I feel like I was in the end I was your nothing,
And that makes me feel like complete and utter ****,
So even though I won't drink, maybe I'll take a hit,
Yeah, maybe that's not healthy, maybe it's the opposite,
But at this point I'll do anything not to give in,
To giving in and messaging you again,
Because this, this is the end,

Papi, I liked the way you did things in bed,
And yeah, I got addicted to the way you gave head,
But nothing is worth my sobriety or my life,
So that's why this is last text you'll get from me, Goodbye.

You brought me down, farther than I thought I could go,
I died a slow death every night in my bed all alone,
I would dream of you, and reach for you in my sleep,
Until one day I realized I'd gotten in way too deep,
And I'd never dig myself out all on my own,
So I tried to save myself with drugs and alcohol,
But a person dying of thirst shouldn't drink poison,
And I can no longer worship you like you're my religion,
I won't be one of your little followers, who's blinded by your words,
I will no longer let you make me feel like a worm in the dirt,

You think you're some sort of master manipulator,
Thinking you can run your relationships like a dictator,
But you're really just a scared little boy, who's not all that smart,
And you no longer get to play with the broken pieces of my heart,

You aren't the first person to make me feel like this,
***** and used, I fear you won't be the last,
But I've always been a fighter, cheating death is my past time,
And if I can survive an overdose, I can live and get over a guy,
A child  really, breaking people like they're toys,
Well I refuse to stay in pieces, **** that noise,
And ***** you while we're at it, it's time I get angry,
Stop letting people just continue to play with me,
And not moving on, just answering it by trying to leave,
This time I'm not going, I'm staying, and I'm fixing me,

You think you're some sort of master manipulator,
Thinking you can run your relationships like a dictator,
But you're really just a scared little boy, who's not all that smart,
And you no longer get to play with the broken pieces of my heart.

I've been feeling extra anxious,
So why do you insist on playing with my emotions?
Like I tell you leaving me on read makes me crazy?
So why are you doing it on the daily?
Killing my vibes, when they're good,
Always making me question where I thought we stood,
You think you have the upper hand though,
Having a main girl while I'm over here losing my cool,
What you don't know is that I have videos on my phone,
With other dudes, cause I'm not waiting around for any dude,

Yeah, you think you're ******* with me, having a hold over me,
And maybe you do just a little bit, but what's going on behind the scenes?
When you aren't here, cause you with your chick?
Don't you worry, I got other dude's who got bigger *****,

And you think leaving me on read is the worst you can do,
Nah, it's when your geriatric patient of fiancee DM's me acting too cool,
Acting like she's half your age, instead of twice of it,
Talking out of her mouth, spewing hateful ****,
Because she so dumb, she still don't think we've slept together,
Little does she know when I found out, I was getting an STD test cause of her,
But you live in your little bubble, thinking everything's good,
Acting like you're tough, like you're hood,
Well I don't wanna be from the ghetto, and I won't be brought down by two idiots,
And this is where I realize, me and that dude, nah we don't fit,

Yeah, you think you're ******* with me, having a hold over me,
And maybe you do just a little bit, but what's going on behind the scenes?
When you aren't here, cause you with your chick?
Don't you worry, I got other dude's who got bigger *****.

I'm so sorry we didn't work out,
And that I still think about,
You and all the things I miss,
Like our very first kiss,
That very first day,
How you walked two hours just say,
Hello and show me that you cared,
But even so, look how we fared,
All that effort for nothing,
And I would give anything,
To have you in my bed again,
Chest kisses and nothing to gain,
Nothing to lose, and only us in the sheets,
Tangled together, lost in a moment that's gone to ****,
In my memories, now all broken and shattered,
Like the heart that I thought mattered,
To you, I thought you loved me,
But it was all manipulation and deception I couldn't see,

And I'd give anything to hear you say you love me one more time,
I'd give you my last *******, I swear my last ******* dime,
Just please tell me the truth, just please stop telling lies,
Because my soul can't take the pain anymore, this time I might die,
And you, you, would regret every word you didn't say, don't deny it,
You'd wish to take it all back, for just one more moment,
And I want you to say that to me, I want you to bleed on paper,
I want the words, I want the sentiment, I want it all, I want you forever,

And that's what hurts so ******* much, is you gave the future you promised me,
To someone else, and you can't even begin to see,
How much this is killing my insides,
And I don't want to keep having to hide,
What we had, but I deleted all our messages,
In a fit of drunken rage so I can't use those as leverage,
And I ******* hate it,
I'd show it all to your *****,
Every last word you spoke to me,
For her to see,
Because you didn't love me as a friend you *******,
And this love is slowly turning to hatred,
So if I were you, I'd fix this soon,
Or I'll be gone, moved on to someone new,
And I won't give a **** about your apology,
Which you really ******* owe me,

And I'd give anything to hear you say you love me one more time,
I'd give you my last *******, I swear my last ******* dime,
Just please tell me the truth, just please stop telling lies,
Because my soul can't take the pain anymore, this time I might die,
And you, you, would regret every word you didn't say, don't deny it,
You'd wish to take it all back, for just one more moment,
And I want you to say that to me, I want you to bleed on paper,
I want the words, I want the sentiment, I want it all, I want you forever.

Why can't I seem to be done,
When you're clearly not the one,
You've moved on to loving someone else,
And I don't blame you, I can't even love myself,
I keep tearing me down,
In my head keep going 'round,
What did I do that was so wrong,
That you left me for?
And will I ever find someone where I'll be enough,
Where there isn't a price tag on the love,

Because you weren't the one and only,
If you couldn't even be trustworthy,
Real relationships come with transparency,
And now I wanna see, you walk away from me,

Because just ghosting me isn't an ending that sets me free,
Only finally getting the truth from your next is cowardly,
You stole my love and then it was returned,
Broken and shattered with your name on it,
Well I'm clearing out our memories,
Cause all they do is hurt me,
And I take back every word I ever said or wrote to you,
I'll delete them out my phone and heart, for someone new,
Because you're not worth it, you're not my "it",
Thank you for finally making me realize our broken pieces didn't fit,

Because you weren't the one and only,
If you couldn't even be trustworthy,
Real relationships come with transparency,
And now I wanna see, you walk away from me.

How much ******* can I take,
Before i can stop being fake,
Plastic smiles and bandaged hearts,
I can't keep pushing around this heavy cart,
Weight added from my broken soul,
Right in my chest where you left a hole,
I feel so hollow since you left,
I can still remember all the promises you said,
But they were all lies dipped in venom,
And you now dance in the darkness of my mind with my demon,

Please don't contact me when you get out,
I'd rather stay lost than found,
I'm shattered right now trying to pick up pieces,
And if you touched even one shard, I'd fragment beyond reason,

I loved you with every part of my bruised being,
I can't explain this heartbroken feeling,
No more cuddling during the day,
Not talking to you when I feel like I'm going to fray,
No I love yous on your side,
While I take my feelings and hide,
But I wasn't pretending towards the end,
t told you I felt, and you still chose someone else,
And now I feel like I'm not enough, used and left to break,
Alone, in my sadness, and I still love you, though I wish it was hate,

Please don't contact me when you get out,
I'd rather stay lost than found,
I'm shattered right now trying to pick up pieces,
And if you touched even one shard, I'd fragment beyond reason,

And when I overdosed on purpose, and you didn't even write,
While now you've lost your every single right,
To ever contact me again,
To be considered even a friend,
Because to know that I could have died,
And you didn't care enough, to spit out a lie,
About caring about me or what happens,
While I hope your future is anything but happy,
I wish you suffering and pain and honestly to be cursed,
Because to not hear from you, that was the worst,

Please don't contact me when you get out,
I'd rather stay lost than found,
I'm shattered right now trying to pick up pieces,
And if you touched even one shard, I'd fragment beyond reason.