I have never ached more,
for someone to call me good.
To look at me.
to press kisses to my face,
to rub circles on my skin.
to see me as a flower or the stars.

Your hair is long again
As a black vasel
Running through my hand

Your eyes grew fiercely
Staring into mine with no hesitation
I wouldn't be surprised if they read me

Your smile is softer now
Learned a thing or two about empathy
Became a better you somehow

Does your hands still looking for mine?
Its not like I'm looking for a fight

I just need a answer
And I can't complete focus on you
When my mind is going to "we were"

Just tell me
I promise to pretend I don't mind
If you throw me a lie

Lie to me
So the lie I tell myself
Become a little more believable

- we could have built it all side by side...

The warmth that lingers in the air
One thought swimming around in my mind.

She walks like driftwood floating ashore
Ever so still, ever so ethereal.

All I can think of is you.

You whisper only love and tenderness to me
I wish you wouldn't cry, that is all it really takes.

What do you dream of in nights like these?
The serene expression on your face melting in the middle of the humid evening.

I wish I could give you what you need.

My reflection swirls and shifts through the dark sealed windows
You hold onto me for fear that I will leave
And you are right.

Please let me go.
let me go.
I am not what you need.

The air in my lungs weighs me down
Your tears dance in the street lights.
I can only wipe them back but for how long?

You are all I can think about.

The way your warmth leaves me feeling cold
As the static in the background fills my brain.

Blue light bounces off of my eyes
I cannot make you happy.

You hold onto me with such resolve
Such need, how will I ever leave?
Not even for a quick three AM rinse.
I want to know what you dream of.

I guess its just another one of those midsummer nights.

I crash back into the mattress, your cold hands soothing me
You are all I can think about now
The only thing within my limited vision
It hurts me.

But its probably just the heat getting to me.

-Kore

I asked her, why?

Why she couldn't hold my gaze
Despite the indescribable connection we feel for one another.

And she told me
That we were like two sides of the moon
Always longing, but never meant to even see each other.

And nothing good would come from the fight to understand
The fight to see one another.

The fight to stay alive as two halves of each other.

For we do not complete us
We love so deeply we swallow ourselves whole
Trying so desperately to have more of what we cannot have.

We are two polarities
And we cannot co-exist together
Not like this.

I bid her farewell
Leaving her only in my thoughts and in the sky
That I often see her in.

The moon never seemed so dark as it rushed  to four quarters
Of what it used to be.

-Kore

What am I in for?

You tell me.

I ask and you show me
The things I have forgotten

I ask and you give me
The sins hidden in the back of my closet.

Who were you?

Does it matter?

Its too late to be sentimental
No amount of praying to a God you do not believe in will get you out of here.

It clicked in my head like the metallic trigger
So cool to the touch, in my hands.

I am only but a ***** sinner am I not?

To be hung in front of the masses
Have at me, I will burn for every stare and every smile.

You deserve this do you not understand?

I am fully aware of what I deserve.

We do not bury my kind in the pillars of this church
It is a shame but I have none.

Do you know what you are in for?

There is no point in being sentimental.

So make me a shrine and pray for me
But sinners do not deserve forgiveness.

And I do not want to be saved.

-Kore

When I was a young, my greatest fear is for my loved once to be not proud of me or to be neglected. That's why I worked so hard. I made sure my grades are high, I have good work, I do my responsibilities as a child, a sister, a partner. I always acted like I don't give a **** about what people would say but I honestly do. And they didn't fail to make me feel that I have to be someone "great" for them to proud of me. It was spread out my personality like a ******* jam on a toast.

Quite sad, I know.

And now that I'm a bit older and a lot different to whoever I was before, I thought I will not get affected by such treatments anymore. But for the love of God, it happened to me again. The feeling of being kept. Hidden. Not proud of.

I feel ugly.
I feel ashamed.
I feel like I'm not worth it.

It's like a familiar punch on the face., the worse is, it broke my heart 10 times more.