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Why is it so hard to write poetry when I'm happy?
When I'm content?
When I'm gloriously in love?

Is it a requirement that I be in rage, in sorrow, in pain?
Drunk? High? Comatose?

Can I just not find the right words to describe my feelings?
Or maybe I don't need this outlet when I'm happy. I don't need to cut my emotions from my chest and attach them to words. I want my emotions here with me.
Such small arms you had
And how
Tight that sweater held you .
How
Tight
I held you,
Knowing how temporary
These moments are.

How peaceful your soft
Hair was in my face as we
Read and solved children's books.
Laughing and pointing.
Kissing.

I will never forget.
***** and wine
Leather and lace
Who cares about the time
I just wanna see your face
Arctic Monkeys and Nirvana
Kissing you in the car
Nibbling your ear
Taking me there
When you look at me like that
I burn up like the sun
When you kiss my thighs like that
I think I'm gonna
Come undone
In the tub
I'm bleeding.
My wrist is still open
And it won't stop if I keep submerging it in water.
I think that's what I want.

If I have less blood,
The NyQuil hits harder
If the blood thinners do their job
I won't clot
And I will die asleep.

That's the dream
Isn't it.
A dead body I met, she was someone who everyone did forget,
Whenever she complained, the only thing she did later was regret .
Her eyes had grown tired of being wet, thus decided not to weep,
A day for her was hard to realize, that sun did set, without eye's wept.
Horrified with being happy, that night she couldn't sleep,
Her past was dangerous, was mysterious , exactly like her, every layer deep.
She was helpless, she was hopeless, she was direction-less
She even was lifeless,i saw and turned depress and she in my mind did creep..
There were so many cuts on her body, yet it seemed section- less..
She knew what was right and what was wrong, yet she was action -less .
She had been stuck with some disgrace, was visible on her face,
Her simplicity in a complex world, seemed aimless,
It wasn't painless, but because she didn't want to part of a race,
She wore an anklet, made up of needles and lace,
With the caption "77", as her dead body's grace..
I wanted to console her, but before that she was gone,
**** these winters, I had turned this idiotic hot shower on ..
Save me from myself..
We'll see if 2017 is worth living.
Sixteen at nineteen wasn't.
But I guess hope drove me through it
And Tyler.

Here's to coffee
And the pursuit of happiness.
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