I’m an imposter
I’m a phony
I’m faker than Barbie

I claim to be a perfectly fine teenager; I’m an imposter.
I say there is nothing wrong; I’m a phony.
I smile all the time; I’m faker than Barbie.

I'm just one big
l i e

I will be good for a while
I won’t cut as often
I won’t want to **** myself every day
I will actually see the other side of the tunnel

But then
Something ticks inside me
I’m reminded that I’m not normal
I remember that I’m a depressed ******

And my arm becomes full of cuts
My head becomes clouded with suicidal thoughts
And one day
When I tick
It will be enough
To push me over the edge

I’m happy
(I’m depressed)

I love myself
(I hate myself)

I can’t wait to live my life
(I can’t wait to die)

I am lucky to have my friends
(why do they even like me?)

I have a family who loves me
(and I continue to disappoint them)

I am an excellent student
(I can’t focus in school)

I want to travel the world
(will I even live to do that?)

I’m fine
(I’m not fine)

I’m perfectly okay
(please help me)