May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand

Sometimes I wish you had something to say
Just anything
Anything
Give me nonsense
Give me sorrow
Give me jokes
Give me words that have no meaning
Just give me
Something

We sit in silence
That dreaded and loathsome silence
Even though it was you who called
It’s not the first time I have wondered
Why
You even called at all
If this very act was built for talking
Why you can do nothing
But wait
Lips closed
In silence.
Wait for me to fill the voids you leave
To smooth the lapses in our speech
To hide the weakness together we seem to make
A lack of conversation
A lack of something to say

I was glad you called
I expect the silence but fail to get used to it
Fail not to be wounded by it
All I wanted was to talk to you today
Fall into the arms that hold me safe
Steady
And let all my worries fade away
With every beat of your heart
But that old complaint
The same one that keeps surfacing
Despite the excuses I make
Rise again

"Tell me something good"
I beg,
A desperate plea for help.
As her blackened jaws close around me
Her cold teeth sinking deep
As she tears chunks of me away
And you pause
Deafeningly.

"Give me something, anything"
"Give me something to save me from her!"
My heart cries to you, Ma Coeur for deliverance.
But
All I can hear is her sickening sound
As you scramble
Over the wall rising between us
To say
‘I don’t have anything to say’.

I know it’s unfair
To have laid so much hope upon you
To believe you could save me from this.
My hope has wounded me more than your silence ever did.
And it’s not a problem to you
Your lifeblood doesn’t run with letters
There’s always words with me, in strange shapes sometimes only I want to know and other times
Pouring from me in cascades.

The times I flood and empty
Sustains us
But the creeks are running dry
My veins shrivel up
And I wonder why it never just
Flows
Easy and effortless
Between us
And the saddest fear haunts my mind
That this weakness will break us with time.
This lack of words will eat our love alive
Perhaps sooner if she keeps consuming me
Mouthfuls at a time.

I know it’s
Just who you are.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
But in the pain of my dashed last hopes
I dismiss you,
‘You knew you’d find no comfort here. He can never offer you those words you need. He’s not built like that’
But knowing offers me no respite
From the crushing weight
Of my disappointment descending
With the final close
Of her jaws.
I am alone
I am lost in the darkness
Again

Ma Coeur Ma Coeur
Where are you

Voiceless
I cry for help
Thinly veiled in our strained phone call
And how I wish I knew
how to make you
hear me.

Ma Coeur Ma Coeur
Where are you

"Return to dust"
She commands me
Her voice grating against my senses
Her jaws twisting sickeningly
Distorting and changing me.
I weep and tremble
And call for you
As if by some miracle
You’d suddenly be able to hear me
As if, if you heard me
You’d be able to save me.

My Heart Ma Coeur
Help me.

Reduced to weeping
Knowing you’ll never have
what I need to
Survive her.
But
Heavy and lost
I still call for you
Stupidly
Pathetically
Over and over and over
Even
As my voice cuts off
When she swallows me
Completely.

A heart with depressed thoughts
As I look into my pathway
Is like grasses covering up my mind
In the illusion of my life.
I set a time to ask few questions;
Like, why is the moon so cold ?
Why is the sun not blue ?
But my mind is too hiding in understanding the contract of "death and freedom"
If, no hell or heaven
My way is so fine with sand and black paint over my heart
As I take a long step into the other world
I wish my soul will not come back into this world
Because the illusion of my mind is so unpredictable as I wish to die in a pool of my blood.

Asleep
But conscious within my dream state
I travel through the spectral doorway
Into a world where only a being
Of your divine substance can exist

As I enter your heavenly domain,
I don my wings and gently ascend
Into the brilliantly colored sky
High above the velvety swirling mists
That carpets the depths of your reality

Seeking the soft glow
Of the life force that emanates
From deep within the nucleus of your soul

Like a beacon
Your loving light guides me
Straight to your awaiting arms
And gently you absorb me
Into your primordial existence
And I am given new life
Within your beautiful dreams