Looking for a book, a gift, searching for a relic
Senses heightened, as if i took a psychedelic
I can feel every breath inhaled by each lung
Dissect every melody of every word sung
Can feel the air, the light behind his face
The perfect sentiment, the most pleasant place
Eyes locked, us both, sipping on pabst
Words flooding, time... lapsed
This welcome can not be over stayed
Anxious ramblings over and over and again replayed
Trying to appear more calm than I felt
Playing it cool, while my heart slowly melts
So cliche, so expected, so everything I've heard before
So I fell for my feelings and I fell to the floor
I pull myself down and again become grounded
Replay the words, your voice, and how sweet it sounded

No more dependence
No more being so reliant
Its time to be a woman
Its time to get defiant
No more of this looking for another
To make me feel finally whole
I've got a brilliant mind, functioning body
And a warriors soul.

I'm not going anywhere
And I know its the wrong place to go
I'm ashamed of myself
And rightfully so.

Move forward
breathing
thinking
sinking.
One day my imagination
will manifest with great focus
and concentration.
Yet still with great hesitation
I mosey more and more forward
Always moving in the same direction
So turned on by the world at large
I give not a **** who if any, is in charge
I release a sigh...
Empty pockets, spent my cash
But I bought some wine and I have some hash

A slap of madness in the face
Putting my thoughts in their place
All through that stratosphere
Dark matter that had left me here

I want to make you happy, make you think, make you ***
I want to take all your pain and make you numb
You the ruler of my heart, of my mind
Destroying my thoughts and making them kind
Full of love laughter and a careless abandon
Not another situation would I have wished to be land in
Your eyes your lips
Your hands grasped tightly on my hips
Oh Daniel how can this be true
A mirror reflection of my soul in you
Transcendental more than my body or mind
More than anything I had ever hoped to find
Cant be real must find the flaws
Nothing but fields, where used to be walls
Life and death, flowers and bugs, friendly and sweet
Can feel my breath that much more every time that we meet
Please say its not in my head
That you feel it too, that my heart isn't dead
Quintessential elation
Followed by a drug induced sedation
One that leaves you calm and well
Your face in my heart, as it starts to swell
Overcome with love, yes I'm falling
All this self doubt lay claim to the stalling
Please love me back
Please tolerate all that I lack
All the poison I contain
Take this madness and make me sane

You love the look, the electricity, desire my lightning
But you hate the thunder
I'll admit it can be frightening
When my mind burst asunder
Heart chakra tightening
You are the sun and i am the storm
But we need each other and you keep me warm
I told you I'd have you, running for the hills
The pain i would cause, along with the thrills
I'm an *******, completely undeserving
Unstable eccentric unpredictable swerving
Astounded that you will even have me in your presence
Like water for my soul, drown me in your essence
Your magic instills such a skillful resistance
To all of my depression and its relentless persistence
Quiet my heart, heavy and abrasive pounds
I just want to listen to music with you revel in the strange sounds
You help me walk in a world i forgot i could
Challenge what i do and remind me what i should
My sun in the sky my shaman, who re-introduced myself to me
My light tower in the distance when I'm lost at sea
Ill be yours if you'll be mine
Souls enmesh, utterly divine
Im needy attached possessive and insane
But i swear the love i can give is worth the pain

The only heart you've got
Is the remnants of the many you've devoured.
All the sugary snatches
You regretfully soured.
No regrets at all. Lets not be coy
Your no poet, no musician, just a boy.

A fraud, I mistook you for a mystic and also took your word
How could I not, you sang my name and you sang like a bird
You kiss like a knight
And all your lies at first seemed white.
All mild, harmless, benign, small and inconsequential
But your ******* bohemian circle is still shallow and preferential
Small and inconsequential, that's what I am now
Small, no one can see me
but how?
how does one dissolve into nothing but still feel it all
No I'm not worthy of love, but still I hear her call
In the lonely night, the winds lonesome cackles
Scared and lonely, romantic shackles
I swear I ache and ache and once again ache
For the next time this hopeless heart of mine will break
God knows I ache and then ache some more
Wanting a man to leave me sore
But they just leave me sore.