Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Apr 2016 Mystifying Chaos
K R W
"You don't need water to feel like you're drowning"
the past but mere ashes
of
dead
memories
we
cremated
and
carried
along from
yesterday?
My regret
Is that I didn't ingest the pills for you
My regret
Is that I didn't lend my wrist to be cut
My regret
Is that I didn't suffer the insults instead
My regret
Is that I didn't bear the depression for you

But my greatest regret
Is not being there for you when you needed me.
My heart screams at me
It's reverberating the words
'She's perfect', let her know
But my mind, my mind clouds
The words that come from
My heart.
My mind is telling me,
'If you do, there's no going back',
So I let my mind
Silence the thoughts that my heart
has created.
I let my mind
Silence the ***** that keeps me alive.
I ask myself daily now
'Will I ever be more than a struggle
Between heart vs mind? Will I ever
Be able to choose my heart like
A dog chooses to fetch a stick
Without any actual commands?'
If I were to let my heart choose,
It would say ' Go tell her you
really really think she's beautiful',
so I go and do that but what
I'm really trying to say is
'I don't think any part of me
Can enjoy life as much as it
Has without your company'.
I only endure the pain of missing you
and knowing I can't hug you because
I can't eat these miles twixt you and I
neither can I drink the vast Ocean dry

I bear the ache of yearning to hug you in vain
because the feeling is mutual, you feel my pain
it hurts like a boil but there's not much I can do
I guess it's the price I have to pay for loving you

and unlike the rest we no longer doubt our intension
so I ignore millions often gazing with clear admiration
blooming in their eyes, cause you'll always be my inspiration
and I'm determined to bear, no matter the duration

for you walked in when none was brave enough to dare
you broke down the walls I had built, with honest love and care
Bye
I have always tried to write
So that my demons are kept away
Not everyone puts up a fight
And so the demons see light of day.

I write this last piece for the friends
Who have seen me through insanity
For those that believe that 'things end'
And now my words are living in vanity.

Thank you for the multiple experiences
Showing me that life in essence is beauty,
That there lies things beyond appearances,
And now I guess I've served my time, done my duty.

I bid you all a fine farewelll
Praying for all of you
To live life in swell
And escape matrimony with feeling blue.
Thank you all. Most importantly thank you to Ashley, Eriko (you'll make it to be a successful artist. Talent tends to drive success and you are talented. Don't ever stop painting or writing) lucinda, Blaine (you have been one of the toughest people i know and I want you to see that you are an amazing person. Although the skies might fall and the ground might shake, I know at max you'll bend never break. I hope you get through everything just fine and I am glad that as long as you are happy I'll be fine to go on. Keep your head up high, there's beauty everywhere around you but most importantly it's in you) nameless (all the best with your literal shawty if I remember correctly. Keep going bro, you'll find love and live happily one day. Btw you have a talent for writing maybe one day I'll read a published book) , bailey (sorry about that last collab idea- maybe one day in the distant future. We share the same stars but even some stars dim. Thank you for every advice you've given me. Keep on going, especially the spoken word poems,you have a lovely voice .... I meant poetic voice....but you also do have a lovely literal voice) , carol (keep on going carol. You might be the fastest runner or furthest jumper one day. Don't let anyone take that light within your heart away. I know you'll keep fighting. And ps; I 100% support you if you were to call your coach an *******). Thank you to the murderer, princess (I believe in you dear, tough situations don't always last but tough people do and i know you are tough. Promise to do your best to keep fighting and i hope the kindness in your heart doesn't dissipate. If you message me I will reply, I'll be by your side like I promised)  julie (your students are lucky to have you, thank you so much for your wisdom and motivation for me to keep going) and most importantly thank you all. Oh right, thank you to the kind, warm and caring soul, thank you Hannah. You all have digged me out of the pit I've fallen in and I can't have anyone to thank except for you.

All the best ♡
Next page