It's been a long time I haven't been afraid of touch
But you hold me as I tremble and I feel perfectly at home.
And as you hold my hand in the car I feel my heart open a little more than it did yesterday or the day before when I was still unsure of how to go about feeling again.  
I was numb for a long time.
And I still don't know you as well as I'd like to but I still lay awake thinking of how your lips curl into a smile and how I want to kiss that smile.
And I imagine if you were a feeling, you'd feel a lot like waking up on an autumn morning feeling the breeze under your covers, and being content enough to stay there.
So I'll leave my windows open tonight so I can feel you when I wake up.

last night i killed a cat
he attacked me at the home in my head
was reincarnated into a duck
then followed me around
this has to do with you and me
and i think i want you dead

someone, something
please help me

Tired of having
A gun against my neck
Please pull the trigger
I just want to be dead.

My insides are rotting
My veins are clogging
My heart keeps stopping
My brain is screaming

Dissociate to escape
But it's not enough
Doesn't take away
Tough reality

Hitting my head
Wishing to be dead
Dissociate permanently

Black holes use everything and anything they can to fill their emptiness. No matter how much they take, they're still empty.