I hate small talk.
I'm not interested in the weather or this great tv show you just watched.
I don't want to know "what's up" when we could talk about so much more.

I want to know about your true self, about your biggest insecurities. About the things you're proud of, but never mention because you don't want to brag.


I want to know why you don't like the colour of your eyes or the form of your hands. Why you think your eyes are boring and why you think your hands are ugly.
But I also want to know what those eyes saw, what horror and what beauty they experienced. I want to know when and why they were filled with tears. Happy tears as well as sad tears.
I'm interested in all those amazing things those hands built - but I'm also interested in those, which they destroyed.

I want to know what the happiest memory of your childhood is. I want to know whether you liked to play in the sand or if you preferred to sit on the swing, feet high above the ground in the air.
I want to know what you miss about your childhood. Is it the carefree mind you once had or is it the happiness you felt because of the smallest things?

I want to know which traumas you fight with till this day. And how you cope with them. Did a dog once bit you and are you therefore still scared of them? Or does the loud echo of a thunder still make you uncomfortable?

I want to know which songs you listen to. What the lyrics behind your favourite songs mean to you. Do they make you think 'bout cold but cozy winter days? Or do they remind you of warm summer days spent in the sun, maybe even on a beach?
I want to know what path your thoughts are travelling when you're laying in bed at 3am while listening to a special song. Does it make you cry because it reminds you of someone? Or do you smile for the same reason?

I want to know all the dreams you have. How you got them and how you want to make them happen. I want to know whether you’d like to climb the mount Everest or if you want to go skydiving. But maybe your biggest dream is to get married to the person you love, your soulmate. Do you even believe in soulmates?

I want to know in what absurd things you believe in. Do you think aliens exist and maybe they're already between us? Do you believe that when you break a mirror, you've got 7 years bad luck or that the shatters bring good luck?

I want to know whether you believe that we humans will destroy and exterminate ourselves or if you believe that an asteroid will destroy us just the way another one destroyed the dinosaurs.

I want to know if you believe that we can change and influence our future or if you believe in fate and that god has everything planned out for us - or if you don't believe in god at all. And tell me; do you believe in karma?

I’m interested in all the things and humans who inspire you. Does music and poetry inspire you? Or do you feel inspired by someone’s development?  
I want to know what influence your family had and still has on you. Do you let them influence your opinions or don’t you let yourself be dissuaded? Did they raise you to be a kind human being or to shut down your feelings? And I want to know; what about your friends? How do they affect you?


You see, I hate small talk.
I want to talk about galaxies and aliens, destructions and creations.
I want to remember childhood memories, smells and nostalgias - but also childhood traumas.
I want to talk about karma, fate and god.
About insecurities and fears, about music and its influence.
I want to talk about all the dreams that you want to live up to, and everything that makes them burst.
I want to talk about everything you search for in a soulmate and how you feel, when you think of someone you're in love with.
I want to revive all the happy feelings you've ever felt, but also all the pain that sometimes drowned out the happiness.
I want to talk about all the things that made us feel more alive than we could've ever imagined - and about everything that broke us.

I want to talk about everything that makes us these imperfect, beautiful human beings that we are.

Were you
wearing
a mask
all along?

Tell me,
what does your
true face
look like?

Oh I wonder,
which one is your
real personality?


The one where
you showed me
how kind
and
what a good friend
you are

Or

The one where
you showed me
the complete
opposite?

Don’t you know
how much it hurts
when I protected you
all the time?

when I
said you are
way nicer
than you act?

But then
realizing
you are exactly
how everyone said.


Cruel
mean
unfriendly
and definitely
not a good friend.

Don’t you know
how much
that hurts?

Right now, I wouldn’t say
That I
Was myself with you.
That I
Trusted you.
That I
Felt like you were my best friend.
That I
Think you were a good friend.

Oh I wonder

Am I a bad person
for
not answering your calls?

Why don’t you
understand
I need time?