inhale,
exhale,
watch my problems float away..
no more stressing,
no more problems in the way.
i fly nightly,
i am grounded by the day.
i don’t medicate,
i meditate.

when i saw your body for the first time,
i realized how war torn you are
how many battles you lost
on your wrists
your thighs
how many fires occurred
on your sides
oh, your lovely sides
and how many times i told you
i love you, because i do
because no matter how many times
you have lost the battle
you will always win the war.

I am at war.
I am at war with myself.
Sometimes the good wins sometimes the bad and it shows itself on my face, on my arms and my legs.
This is a battle where no matter the outcome.
I loose.
This war inside of me. It hurts. Like I'm being ripped in half. I hate that I feel like this but at the same time I crave it.
I belong in misery. I don't deserve happiness or normalness. I deserve this war.
Because in the end.
I am This war.