Oh, my God,
I think I'm actually going to
cry.

I don't know how,
I don't know why
and it makes me want to finally cry
Love is a *****
It's a pain in the ***
Even as it soothes my tortured soul.
Bittersweet is defined by love.
What am I supposed to do
When he says it's not fair?
I'm sorry that I can't grow up,
I've tried
And I'll keep trying for you, love,
but it's just so
****
hard
And it makes me want to cry.

I think that I am possessed
I scroll into the past, and
I see the words that pour from my heart
The's are mine? No, they cannot be mine;
I don't even remember writing that line
I think I am possessed by a poetic spirit
Who yanks strange words from my bones
Because how could it be that I,
So simple, so fragile, so weak and slow,
Can create these literary masterpieces
That I see as I scroll
Nay, they cannot be mine
I am surely possessed by poetry.

Every day
I am falling down
And every night
You come and pick me up
And hold me close
Hold me close so I can see
There's a sky in your eyes
There's a universe in your mind
I wanna be the center
The brightest star in the sky,
Burning forever
But even if I'm not, that's okay
Because I have you here for now.

It's
hard
    to watch
        as
time
     simply

*disappears.

the clouds, wisps
like spiderwebs,
hang delicately above
the sun's tangerine goodbye.

Look up
At smears of wet cotton sitting on
A smooth glass table
Beneath a blue ceiling
That  holds a bright light  
OUT!
Dark, dark, and cold  
Leaks through three cracks in the glass
Drip, drip, drop
Ups and downs that just won't stop.

I cannot speak of my emotions,
my mouth freezes, tears do not fall
My insanity pours out from my pen,
it slips down my fingers and splatters the keyboard
with blood
I cry
I wonder why
I cannot SPEAK the truth of my heart,
all I can do is weild my pen;
write.

These words can fly into the sky
fluttering iridescent wings,
high on the love and despair
of teenage affairs
They fly through the eyes
of fellow young minds
Light up the deadzones inside
with my voice
I write because I cannot speak,
I write to share my mind
with the ones I love
and with the world

take my words
and fly.

I looked up last night,
The first time in a long time
And the simple beauty
Of a million white lights stree across
Blue-black velvet illuminated by the light of Lady Luna
Took my breath away and made me cry at the wonder

If I can see the stars, bright and fine,
Then I know that I am home.

Your
voice, the sweetest sound
that I have ever heard, ah,
the song makes me yearn for you
Physical contact
will leave me
dizzy;
your scent
will steal
my sanity.
It's you, it's you,
Oh, I love, I love, I love you
It is not possible for this fragile body to hold
the blaze inside, this firestorm of
passion sweet and hot
Break me, release the flames
Taste this passion in your dreams
until real life can capture it, too
Ah, I love,
Ah, I love,
Ah, listen, I love you.

Anticipation is bittersweet,
trying to taste the moment
before it touches my tongue;
I am desperate to devour the flames,
but I must be careful
not to swallow too fast for fear that they will burn me.

A swell of golden fire
Burning in my heart
Shimmering through my capillaries,
Burning in my veins
It grows to set my soul on fire;
It burns to make me weep
Tears of sun, blindingly warm and sweet
Like honey on your tongue
Whenever our lips meet.

I simply yearn
for the softness of your lips on mine
(they're still tingling from that kiss six minutes ago)
I simply yearn
for the warmth of you holding me
(I'm still warm from your arms around me seven minutes ago)
I simply yearn
to memorize every part of you
*(I feel that there is still something missing here, eight minutes to go)

Your kisses this morning were soft and sweet,
the taste of goodbye heavy on my tongue.
I could smell the sorrow;
zinnia blooms hiding your eyes.

Find a sprig of baby's breath
to remember our truth:
everlasting love cannot be smothered by distance.

I see the storm

Brewing inside you;

Lightning flashes in your eyes.

You’re angry, love, I see it, I know,

But I am not afraid.

And while your silences frightens me,

The serious tone, I hate,

I am not afraid of the storm.

I will not back away, love,

I’d rather be struck by lightning.

Skylark soaring through soul-gray clouds,

She tries to find her way;

A raven chases after her,

He cannot stay away

She flies through storm and sun,

She opens her beak and sings;

The raven, following,

Closes his eyes to listen

The skylark searches for her true home,

Wonders where her heart belongs;

The raven sees his universe in her,

Yearns for more of her sweet song

At last, a lake looms below,

With an island fit for two;

The skylark lands, the raven follows

Shy in the moonlight

The skylark’s song soothes his chaotic night.

Simultaneously light and heavy,

I cut all the chains but one;

A gleaming stretch of diamond links

Binds my heart to his.

This is the only chain I will not cut,

For it is not only impossible,

Made of hard iridescent diamond,

But it is also an unseen desire;

I do not wish to cut this last chain,

And I swear that I never will.

Dance on a river of glass shards
stained with blood
The bottoms of your feet
streaked with shiny pink scars
Dance and dance,
you can't help but dance
The pain is too great to stand still.

She walks as though
there are clouds beneath her feet;
Her heart is the same color
as her name.

Let our whispers,
our laughter and our screams,
the sounds of love, of desire and pleasure;
Let the sounds of us stain the sky -
I think we can brighten the stars with our love.

Our eyes absorb the sun-bright light
of a swollen moon, so big
I fear it may swallow us,
hungry hungry moon
It makes no sense,
that a sphere made of cheese
would devour two tiny humans in love,
but that is the nightmare
spinning in my head,
the dance partner of a daydream where
your hands travel
across the world of me,
memories staining your fingertips.

My body may move,
but my soul is forever with you,
my heart next to yours.
I may seem far away, love,
but I promise you
I am always by your side.

No matter how
the world may change you,
no matter the words you say,
my heart is yours
and you swear yours is mine,
as long as that is true, I promise you, love,
I am always by your side.

We'll both grow older
in the time that stands between us,
but be not afraid
of becoming an outgrown toy
I will always need you,
your heart next to mine,
I promise you again and again, love,
I am always by your side.

So kiss me again
and forget those gray fears
They'll only cloud your happiness, love,
Please, remember,
always remember:
I am always by your side.

Well, everything is spinning,
And it’s all because of you,
Darling, you’ve left me dizzy
From the lack of oxygen
You’re stealing all my oxygen
The fire in your veins
Yanks the breath from between my lips
And sets fire to my heart

Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

Well, you’re telling me something’s wrong
There’s a piece in your head
that’s not quite right
You tell me that you’re just not right
But I just want to kiss you,
Hush
I don’t care if you’re a shattered mirror
Reflecting my pain
I see your soul,
and it shines bright next to mine

Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

(Shh!)
All those people saying you’re broken
They tell lies, darlin’,
(Don’t listen, don’t listen)
(Shh!)
And the voice in your head that says
That maybe you’re just better off dead
It’s lying to you, baby
(I can tell you the only truth)
Dance with me in the flames,
Dance with me, don’t play their little games
I’m your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
Don’t listen to the voices, baby, they all tell lies

(Shh!)
I’ll be your dance partner ‘till the universe dies
(Shh!)
I promise you, baby, I won’t tell you any lies

Shh!
Say nothing,
Just sit with me
And watch the white flames burn
around us
They shimmer iridescent colors,
They gleam like a thunderstorm rainbow,
Glitter like fairy dust in an opal stone
Those flames dance for us, love
Hold me tightly, hold me close,
We open our mouths to let the flames rush in
Fire burns through our veins,
Shatters our bones,
Melts our hearts
I look into the deep brown of your eyes
And you look into the luminous green of mine;
Hold me tightly, hold me close,
We kiss and go up in flames.

The ballerina twirls
in her porcelain skirt,
Twirls thin and white
on her pretty box
With shimmering music notes
spinning around her.
A pale hand
stabbing the air above her head,
The other hand holding a stomach
that dips rather than protrudes.
She spins on pale legs,
twig-thin and ready to snap.
How do those tipped toes hold her up
so stable and strong,
How does she find the energy to
keep spinning, keepkeep spinning?
I think if I take a closer look
at those tiny dark eyes open wide,
I will see the shine of hidden tears;
she is not allowed to cry.

Silence falls,
Killing my heart;
You can bring me to life.

Leave a trail of butterflies
on my skin
with your kisses
We'll watch together
as the vibrant wings catch fire
And our lips meet in a storm of flame.

It’s warm
It’s fuzzy
And it’s coming soon to a heart near you:
The warm fuzzy feeling!
This feeling is characterized
By soft happiness,
Frequent daydreams,
Feeling comfortable and loved,
And starry eyes.
The feeling is often found after
A five-minute phone call to say “Goodnight,
I love you.”
And kissing the microphone to hang up.

COMING SOON TO A HEART NEAR YOU!

LETMETATTOOMYFINGERSACROSSYOURSKIN
ETERNITYISNOTLONGENOUGH
THISIS­FOREVERTHISISTRUE
MYSOULISYOURS
EVERYTHINGINEEDISYOU
BEMYSUNMYMOO­NMYSTARSMYUNIVERSE
REVEALTHEFIRESOFYOURHEARTTOME
EVENTHEMORNINGWO­NTTEARUSAPART
ALLISEEISYOUYOURMAHOGANYEYESSOWARM
TELLMEAGAINANDAG­AINTHOSETHREEPRECIOUSWORDS
HEALTHEWOUNDSTHATTHEOTHERONESLEFTBEHIN­D
EVERYKISSISASUNRISEBRINGINGWARMTHANDHOPE
YOUAREMYHEARTMYBREATHM­YSOUL
ONLYYOULOVEONLYYOU
UNTILTHEENDWEARETOGETHERUNTILTHEEND
IWON­TLETTHISFEELINGGOTOWASTE
NEVEREVERLETMEGO
.

I feel the tremors in my blood,
the music shaking up my brain
The energy quivering through my veins
I need to hop up
onto my tippy-toes
I need to MOVE
Spin and jump,
twirl and
f
a
l
l.
Catch me if I fall, love?
Catch me if I fall.

I want to bottle up your voice,
Wrap a red ribbon around the clear glass,
And tuck the bottle
Into a little hollow in my heart.

Your fingertips
Trailing butterflies along my neck;
Their wings flutter, bright,
Blinding me as I breathe you in.

Pull the wires out from under my skin
I think I’m starting to rust again
My movements are stiff, my thoughts shedding red
I think I’m starting to rust again
Dunk me in Arctic waters,
Watch me d i s s o l v e
Pull the wires out from under my skin
I think I’d like to be a ghost girl again
I can live without hot blood
Seeking the warmth of my only love
Pull the wires out from under my skin
I might end up almost dead again.

Oh, MythBusters!
I will be sad to see you go;
Your explosive awesomeness
and gut-busting science
has kept me laughing since my twelfth year

Fourteen seasons
of exploding pigs
and Adam screaming "Ouch!"
and theorizing
"Is Jamie a robot?"

Oh, MythBusters!
You will always remain in my heart
as one of my favorite shows
and I hope and pray
that the re-runs keep rolling
'till the end of my days.

What is this you are doing to me?
I swear this is pure insanity;
My heart feels like a fluttering bird,
Catch it in your hands
And soothe it with just a single word.

The first thing I see
Is the butterfly,
With cat’s eyes on her wings.
She dances ballet with the breeze,
Never missing a beat.
I blink.
The air shatters.
A bird with wings lined in fire
Interrupts the dance,
Scoops the butterfly
Into his beak.
The wind is left sobbing alone,
Littering my face with crystalline grief spots.
I blink.
Talons in my chest,
A glaring orange eye in mine
When I open my eyes
Inside his pupil
I see
My future
Outlined in flames.
I dance with them,
I swallow them,
I kiss them and burn
The flames, they cleanse my soul
The bird shows me
I can only be free with the fire
If I give up my weary heart
I close my eyes,
Feel the gentle tugging
I thought it would hurt
To lose my heart
But I feel only joy
At the weightlessness of my chest
When I’m set free
Then the flames, they take me
Outline the hold in my chest in gold
I scream without fear,
I cry without misery,
I bleed without pain,
I die without an ending.

Kiss me breathless, kiss me drunk,
Kiss me ‘till I have have sunk
Under the waves of warm desire;
I’m not afraid to drown during the lovers’ hour.

Well, Mike Shinoda's words are true,
time is a valuable thing
And I wish I could freeze it
for just another month, maybe two

I'm not ready to leave you.

Dance on a skeleton tightrope,
Bones strung across a bottomless hole
One foot in front of the other
With spiderwebs holding your wrists prisoner
Pill bottles around the sink
Tapping on their tiptoes
Lined up to greet you,
To pour sleepdeathdarkness down your throat
A knife spins on its scarlet-stained tip
A weeping chasm divides the solidity of your vein
Railroad tracks on snow, the crows lose their voices
And drop feathers into the frost
Feathers fill your head so you cannot thinkspeakbreathe
A kiss of sunshine tries to wake you,
But you’re too far under
The frigid waves
Palms raised to the walls of the iceberg
Lips parted to sing a song of release me please
Hushandshush no one wants to hear you cry, deary
Stitch a smile into your lips
Hide the tears that dance on your vocal strings
No one wants to see the broken doll
Who dances on cracked limbs
Porcelain dancing on thin ice, watch it
S h
A
Tte
R
Watch her fall
No one really wanted to save her after all
Dance in a nightmare, cry in a dream
The pain will make me burst at the seams
I can see the blood spilling
Onto the tile floor
It stains my eyes, it stains my heart
It digs claws into my soul to tear me apart
The fog tranforms into laughing ghosts
Their faces are the masks of tragedy
Their eyes are everything I fear
These are not words that I want to hear
A boy with eyes the color of chocolate and mahogany
Is desperate to keep me safe
But I am afraid
Even the warmest kiss cannot melt the icicles lining my veins
Here I go, to walk the skeleton tightrope,
My tears fall into the bottomless void
Behind me, the monsters ask me to fall
Ahead my soul begs me to
Put one foot
Ahead of the other
Keep walking the skeleton tightrope, forward
Into the gleaming city of hope.

Spider weave their webs over my eyes
to hide the once-bright green inside
To cloak my brain in agony
To shield me from the sunlight

I lift my coat-hanger limbs
And dance with darkness
I let the demons drink my blood
I let the ghosts take naps in my gold-straw hair

Ah, I am a ghost, too
Ah, well I should be
But, ah, a little secret saved me
A fairy tale turned true

A knight saved the princess
From her dusty dark dungeon
He kissed her and woke up her gravestone heart
And she realized the magic of a smile

But even as they journeyed on,
They danced and kissed their way forward,
The shadows danced with them,
The ghosts stole me away from him

Don’t take me away from him
Don’t take him away from me
Don’t let him turn away from me
Don’t make me dumb enough to turn away from him

I’m just another ghost girl gray,
Eyes cloaked in spider-thread
Limbs outlined in paper and streaked with blood
I dance with my demons,

Even as I believe in love.

Shh,
The ghost is in my eyes again
Shh, it’s okay,
Just let her stay,
I’m okay
Shh, just let her stay,
Just for today.

Remember the feel of your hair,
Soft between my fingers
As we kissed and I melted,
I struggled to keep my head above the waves
Of love that were crashing over me
But, ah, my love,
I want to drown in you.

I catch a glimpse of the past, not mine,
The pills slip down one by one
It frightens me, reminds me of fragile time
Itchy rope, cut the rope, don’t choke
I catch a glimpse of actions, not mine,
Silver tip tinted with crimson, blood drops on tan skin
It frightens me, reminds me of fragile time
Who need a knife when you have nails?
I catch a glimpse of shadows, not mine,
Insanity creeps closer with June
It frightens me, reminds me of fragile time
*Hope starts to slip at the thought of being alone.

Baby, sing me to sleep
But the night is still so young
Baby, please, sing me to sleep
But the stars are bright for us
Baby, just sing me to sleep
Look at how the moon gleams, a silver coin
Baby, I’m begging you, sing me to sleep
Just let me kiss you instead
Baby, I’m sorry, I just need to sleep.

Shooting stars
Toss themselves out of the sky
Just to burn.
Tired of watching everyone below
Scream and cry and bleed
It’s torture to watch these people, all in pain,
Unable to do anything about it, so
Shooting stars toss themselves out of the sky
Because they’d rather burn.

One night.
One night
Of magic, love, laughter.
One night
To drop your weights
And just dance, baby, dance.
One night
To see everyone you’ve known for years
As princesses and princes in their finest satins.
Jewels glisten and the smell of small flowers
Wafts through the air, mingling with the sweat of the dance floor.
Petals flutter from corsages, but no one seems to care,
They just dance, forget every fear
One night,
I had the best night of my life
I laughed and I danced
I kissed my love, and he kissed me
Under the light of a half-grown moon
Stars peeked through the fleeing storm clouds and smiled
And my love and I, we didn’t care who was watching
As we slow danced to a high-speed song;
We were singing our own song,
Just outside the party
And I felt the love
(with just a hint of lust)
Flowing between us,
And in that moment, in his arms,
I was home.

I just don’t want to participate today,
I’d rather disappear
So pull me into a storybook
With sad and worn lyrics soothing my lonely ears.
I am numb,
And that’s okay.

*This girl lies under sky-blue covers,
Eyes closed, ears full of her favorite song
Her face is scarred, but not on the skin

For just a moment, dreaming of her love,
Peace touches her lips

But even then, she is still numb,
No longer participating;
She would rather disappear.

I spend this sun-day
hiding from the sun
under a comforter
the color of today’s sky
and zebra stripes.
I do not participate.
This morning,
I participated,
as my parents scurried about the grocery store
without me.
I called my father’s mother
and I called my mother’s mother.
I called my soul mate
and remembered
last night, prom night, perfect night.
Then I wasn’t at home alone anymore
and I didn’t want to participate anymore
and I let myself sink into the emptiness.
I deny any and all emotions and accusitions of life.
I am not of this world, in this world,
known to the world or by the world,
I am dust hiding under the bed.
I read a book that is nothing but truth and pain
and listen to music that is pure dark emotion.
I twist my mind into wicked shapes,
and embrace the emptiness that is slowly taking over my soul.
I don’t want to feel,
I don’t want to heal,
I don’t want to be me or anything.
All I think is no longer real.
I can embrace this sickness,
this dark disease of the mind.
I am sick, what is my cure?
I don’t know or care or want it.
Let me bleed, and let me sleep,
but don’t let me die,
even in this state of mind
I would rather just cry.
This is a place where love does not exist,
so I’m sorry, soul mate,
but right now you are gone.
This is a place where voices do not penetrate,
so I’m sorry, Mom and Dad,
but right now I cannot hear you.
This is a place where I keep my phone on silent,
So I’m sorry, cousin dear,
I cannot read your admiration.
This is a place made of nothing.
This is a place where my tears are my water
and my blood is my wine,
I never believed in religion
and I swear I never will.
I am my own savior
and I am failing at my job.
This is a place where I cannot be saved
except by my self, by myself, by mys elf.
This is a place to drown in a hot water bathtub,
blood dripping down my wrists,
but don’t let me die,
I don’t want to die,
I just want to sleep.
I just want to bleed a little bit,
I don’t want to watch my life run down my fingers
and slide down the drain,
irretrievable.
This is a place where
everyone who loves me should stay away
because they will get hurt
and I don’t want to hurt them
because I love them too,
but in this place
I love no one
and no one loves me,
so leave me all alone.
This is a place that I don’t tell my love about,
I don’t tell my sister about,
I don’t tell Mom and don’t tell Dad,
don’t tell the grandma with the cats
or the grandma at the lake,
don’t even tell the great grandma who is an older version of me.
This is a place
that makes doctors frown
and boyfriends cry,
that makes my sister slap me upside the head
and tell me to stop listening to depressing music.
This is a place where
I cut so I can feel something,
a place where I just want to see
the sparkling crimson against the paper-pale of my skin.
This is the place where I trace my veins
with my eyes
and have unwelcome visions of opening them.
This is the place where
I see my fears lined up
like a suicide’s pill bottles on the bathroom counter,
ready to jump down my throat
and stop my heart.
This is the place where I feel nothing,
I am a blank sheet of looseleaf
about to be torn into shreds
and scattered along the wet grass
for the birds to use in their nests
and the spiders to hide under.
This is the place where I think I might finally cry,
but somehow my face still stays dry,
and I wonder why I never cry,
I only bleed,
never cry,
never die.
This is a place where
I start to wonder if anyone would notice
if I just stayed here forever,
if they would see the emptiness in my eyes
(oh, my love, would you see the emptiness in my eyes?)
This is a place
I almost wish I could stay in,
because here I cannot feel the pain of emotions,
here nothing matters,
here words cannot penetrate,
here I am a tough scar and not an open wound,
here I am nonexistent
no one cares.

This is a place that I know I should leave
but I dont want to leave
I cannot leave now
I’m just too tired to leave now.

So let me sleep,
and in the morning I’ll be okay,
I’ll leave this place,
and no one will know that I ever left them
so I could sit in the empty darkness
with just my demons for company.

Let me dance with the darkness,
and let me sleep my way back to life.

100 followers! What a milestone! Thank you guys so much for reading, faving, reposting, and generally just loving my poems! You guys are awesome!