Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
my mind is on repeat my mind lingers on the though of you every second of the day. from the curve of your lips that arise when you silently hurt me to the day you crushed everything i loved, my mind is on repeat.

my mind is on repeat. a move-like trance appearing on every corner of my brain. the memories remind me with its colourful details and unhappy endings that we were once lively. we were the definition of wild, untamed laughter in the early sunrise hours until the night swallowed us whole. i tried to pull down the stars and the moon like they were carnival balloons just to impress you. i miss the way i impressed you.
when i'm alone in my bed i search the corners and pillows for a comforting word of two you may have led behind when you decided to leave.

my mind is on repeat. i think about the day my heartbeat with align back up with yours. between bottle after bottle that i drown myself in i look for a concept of you; the charming smile, the dependent tear, the shifted gaze. i look to remember and remember so i don't forget, but by the time i'll see you i will not smile at our memories anymore. instead, they will float away like happy little clouds, and for the first time i will get a solid nights sleep without dreaming that you somehow still care. somehow, i learn in these dreams that i still care.

my mind is on repeat. i hope someday i will be better. i am drenched in golden sunlight and happiness until i think of you. your presence is a clenched fist around my already gaping neck and you resist to aim for the ****. your words shot like daggers and my shaky hands were no math. your resonating irritation makes it hard to breathe in the stillness of the night and for a second i could feel my heart skip a beat.

my mind is on repeat. i don't beg for answers, i don't allow my mind to fade away on those thoughts. i look forward and take big, long strides- i hold dear what was taught to me. i feel a tear well up in my eye, as my foot takes that liberating first step.

-it will always be repeating

conceptcollection
wrote this in the midst of life feeling like it was getting to crazy. do you ever feel like that? i think that as a society we're so consumed by everything around us and we tend to waste our time with things that hardly matter. i think this noise starts to build up and i find it so irritating, especially when i'm trying to be creative! nonetheless, heres what sprang from that idea :)
I am a fragment
of a broken home,
parents that were
never meant for
one another
but tried their best
to love as if
they were.
They tried to
hold it together
for us kids
but life could never
be what we wanted
it to be.

I am a fragment
of my demons,
the voice
in my head
that tells me
over and over again,
"you're not enough."
There are some days
where that voice
feels greater
than my own
and I almost want to
give in.

I am a fragment
of failed relationships.
You told me I was
"too much."
It felt like daggers
in my chest
and suddenly
I couldn't breathe.
Since then,
I have always felt
I've needed to hold
myself back
and not drown in love.

I am a fragment
of the hell I've
been through.
It wasn't easy
to get to where
I am today.
My journey was
a little ragged,
not a straight shot...
but I'm still
standing tall and
going through
this thing we call
life.

I'm a fragment
of the songs
I've played
over and over again.
Some to block out
the pain,
the tears.
Others to reach
a state of nostalgia,
in an attempt
to go back to moments
I wished to relive.

I am a fragment
of those I surround
myself with.
The constant encouragement,
the kind words,
the shoulders to lean on,
the ability to understand
why I'm like this.
Where would I be
without it?

I am a fragment
of the books I've read.
The lines I underlined
to come back to again,
the characters I saw
a piece of myself in,
the events I read about
that hit home
a little too hard.

I am a fragment
of my flaws,
my mistakes,
my imperfections.
They've eaten me alive
for most of my life
but I am beginning
to come to terms
with them.
I am seeing
the beauty I once
refused to see
within them.

I am a fragment
of my emotions.
They were always
valid and real
despite those who
tried to convince me
otherwise.
The smiles and laughs
were just as significant
as the screams and tears.
I tell myself,
"you were never crazy...
you were just figuring
yourself out."

I am a fragment
of love.
Those that I loved,
those that never
loved me.
The times that
love evoked
happiness,
the times that
love caused me
pain.
It's all the same
when you think
about it.
It was all for,
love.

I am a fragment
of the woman
I was and
the woman I am.
I didn't always
love myself like this
but god, I'm glad I
now do...
because this is something
that can never be
taken away from me.
"I am a fragment composed of other fragments."-Rebecca Lindenberg
 Feb 2017 Matthew A Cain
Sjr1000
No time to dwell
(on what's been undone)
or that
which has become undone

We'll hold onto
each of our moments
when love's song was sung

(When) we stepped on time's ladder
climbed each rung
Each one told a story
of births and deaths
failures and success

The higher we ascended
The shakier the ladder
Encouraging each other
when our legs start to tremble,
when our balance is threatened,
My hand in yours
then
your hand in mine
Should you fall behind
I wait for you
When I falter
You wait for me

When we stumble
We hold on to each other
With a word
A look
A warm embrace

Time's ladder
over time
deteriorates
with aging and pain

I know we'll hold on to the end
though no promises can be made
I'm not perfect
Neither are you

But

I know I won't be climbing to these heights again
or stepping up on to
another time's ladder.
A nod to the Boss, "If I Should Fall Behind  "
Yeah,
It's been a while but figured I need to write you some
27 now and hope you're proud of who I've become
I've fallen a lot but felt your grace pick me up
My guardian angel with me pushing any kinda luck
I've been asked a few times who I wanna be as I get older
Said you just in case I never told ya
Grandpa told me what you did when I was a kid in need of guidance
Protecting my eyes from my father's influence and violence
I heard that and couldn't help but I shed a tear
Not a min goes by that I don't wish you were here
My drive is strong but everyday I know you
help me steer
My moment is big with the critics talking but you're the only voice that I hear
You taught me to always **** em off with kindness
When you show who you truly are when no ones watching - that's when you're at ya finest...
Taught me to handle it when I get set backs
Been through the worst times to get the best back
At times I feel I ain't work hard enough to get where I wanna go
And feel i can't move forward cause I ain't let the past go
Still holdin in some anger from things that don't think about me
I'm blinded by my emotions in which truly I can't see
I'm trying to become everything and more that you'd be proud of
I'm trying give back more and show more love
It's hard when naturally this doesn't go through you
People won't understand all this unless they knew you
I promise to get better and be the example
And showcase who I am instead of giving out samples
You're the reason I get up everyday and gain motivation
Because you can't get what you want if you remain complacent
Need your help to guide my broken heart to pure places
Give me the strength to become a lil more patient
So I say a prayer for you, cross my heart and continue to strive
And hope that you remain with me on my journey and never leave my side.
You was right but I had to see for myself
I guess it took time for me to earn for myself
I hope this is somewhat a thank you for all ya help
I hope the angels take care of you until I see you myself.

Rest in peace Opa
Miss you
Just write to you to catch up - sorry it's been so long.
I fell asleep on a sunny patch of grass
With dirt on my head, and gnats in every breath
And when I awoke again, the sky was freshly black
Speckled and freckled with faint bits of stars
The moon was beginning to smile behind a veil of grey
And I thought to myself in that moment,
"Everything is fine. Everything's okay."
Next page