If I could reach inside myself
And remove all scars of the past
If I could erase every mistake
I wonder how long I would last
Before I begin to fade, dying away,
Withering into dust, no longer alive
Would it be better than who I am now?
If life is pain, am I meant to survive?

I'm not in the Olympics, or the WWE
Yet I fight my demons with each breath, daily
Sometimes I lose, I'm knocked out, I'm outdone
Sometimes I win, I can pretend life is fun
I wonder if I can ever tap out and leave,
If there's so much more that I can hope to achieve
Is it courage I'm seeking, or how to let go?
If there's an end to this, I guess I'll finally know.

Anxious all the time that this world isn't for me
Fearing failure with every opportunity
Racing heart, trying to breathe, to think, searching for air,
Agony, so many emotions, too aware
Intrusive thoughts, nothing makes sense, loud, amplified
Dying before death arrives, I'm a coward inside.

I have a set of bespoke masks
For each and every person I know
Depending on what is asked
They'll see what I'm willing to show
If, one day, I lose my disguise
The world wouldn't handle it well
So I keep it safe, within my reach
Tailored to visions I need to sell.
Why do we put up these charades?
Forlorn souls, trying to find our place
If we can't be ourselves, we pretend
To be who we're not, just to save face.
It doesn't, it doesn't have to be this way
If I could change the world, I'd decree
That the veils come off, so people learn
To be true, themselves, finally free.

I don't know you, but you're a part of me
With every beat, every lyric, every note, every key
And now that you're gone, I feel so lost, so empty
As though I'll spend life searching for you
Until we meet, perhaps in the afterlife
To ask you, why did you leave like this?
Why leave the earth to shine bright in the sky,
To be a revered, inspiring, light, lasting only a moment?
Help guide us home, lead us to a better place
Give us a sign, anything, to know that you're well
Remind us you're there, and you'll never be forgotten
I've never seen you live, how I wish I did
Perhaps I should have tried harder
Perhaps I should have listened more
Had I known you'd be gone now...
I would've done things differently.

The whole world's playing a game of poker
And I'm dealt a strange, confusing hand
I don't want to be mediocre,
I make rash moves, which were never planned
Inevitable, I fail each test,
To start over, again and again
So I'll keep my cards close to my chest
Hoping that this time, it won't be in vain.

I can't look at the sky anymore
It reminds me that I've failed to explore
What it means to reach so far up high
No matter how much, how hard I try
I'll never design the wings of a plane
Or find its material stress and strain
I'll never make a rocket land or rise
Mapping out exactly how it flies.
I'm told I overthink, that it's "just dreams"
"They're just delayed, it's not what it seems"
I've tried to believe, but it hurts inside
I guess they're not late, they've been denied.
No one knows what's really going on
But I'll apply and work till my strength is gone.
Will there be an answer? I don't know
I wish time would speed up, it's just so slow.