In the beginning, they say there was light
That changed through the days to become the night
Blessing the world with what it means to see
To know miracles, wonder and ecstasy.
No one knows if the darkness fled to hide
Ashamed of everything it held inside
Cowering in an unearthly prison
A lifelong sentence as light had risen
Convinced that this is safe, that this is fine
Convinced that dark never had the right to shine.
They say it quietly withered into dust
Following instructions, trying to adjust,
Discovering freedom like never before,
To know what it is to be alive, to explore
Finding expression in pain through art
Finding reflection in matters of the heart.
Learning to survive, running from the light
Claiming the throne as ruler of the night.

I know what it's like to have a monster in my head
That wants to be productive, but can't get out of bed.
I know what it's like to suffocate without masks
To be paralysed with panic over simple tasks.
I know what it's like to have doubt buried deep inside,
That questions each tear that falls before it has dried
I know what it's like to wish to silence my brain
To wonder if overthinking would make me insane
I know what it's like to detest every part of me,
To hide it from people so they don't think I'm crazy.
I know what it's like to scream with pain, aching to die
With a heart that lives on, whispering, "One more try".

I'm trying to find perfect words to say
I'm trying to find perfect words to write
Anything in my power to get you to stay
Anything to have you near, in my sight
I treasure the words you return to me
I wrap them, lovingly, and keep them close
Messages of all kinds in memory
Still fresh, like the beauty of a wilted rose.
I could never tell you how much I feel
This, my only secret, tender and true
You're a poem immortal, so brilliant, unreal
And I'll be right here, watching, in awe of you.

I'm a strange mixture of yin and yang
With light struggling to be seen, to be heard
Pleading, in anguish, to the darkness
"Don't put me out, let me say a word!
Let's make a deal with terms for us both
I want to live, let me heal, to be free
I'll respect your space, I'll leave you alone
Don't let us become what we used to be".

What if the Titanic
Couldn't cope with expectations
And instead of dodging the iceberg,
Saw an opportunity to be free?

I once replaced every part of me
With robust designs that shined from within
Strong, efficient, I could run forever,
I had everything I needed, built-in.

I had nothing to be changed or improved,
I was a perpetual motion machine
With no ties to an inferior past
Cast away from memory, as though unseen.

Yet sometimes, in the shadow of the day,
When I feel a distant ache long denied,
Forgotten wounds of what used to be,
I wonder who I really am, inside.

I remember, countless times I asked God
"Fix me, get this madness out of my head
Help me think right, push me to be strong"
What I heard back was silence instead
So now I pray for all in this world
For peace, light, a clear path for every life
For hope in unimaginable darkness
That every soul finds what I can't, in strife.