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I can’t feel the sun on my face when you’re not standing outside
I can’t open the door to strangers when I’m expecting you anytime.

Don’t you understand?
I don’t want you by my side; I want you with me all the time.

I can’t feel okay or at peace when you aren’t there to calm my mind
I can’t see or feel what makes me happy when your hand’s not in mine.

Don’t you understand?
I don’t want you by my side; I want you with me all the time.

I can’t function without your voice telling me that you’re still here
I can’t face the world or myself if you’re not my thin veneer.

Don’t you understand?
I don’t want you by my side; I want you with me all the time.

5th May 2016
 May 2016 Maple Mathers
Torin
I allow
  myself
    to fall
      because
        your falling
          and
            if you're crawling
              on the ground
                 I don't want you
                  to crawl alone
I only
love you
I only want
to show you
 May 2016 Maple Mathers
Torin
Endless muddled thoughts
Muddied fantasies
Puddles at my feet
Putty I can't mold
We have such visions of art
And dreams of love
Hopes of light
Darkened hearts

Our souls are only fingers reaching
Into our minds
Our feelings come from a place
Of spirits
They are speaking to us
Even now above confusion
They are speaking to us
And I hope that we can listen

Broken skin bleeding
Wind changing direction
When the leaves fall
Sending truth they fall on me
We have such singular wants
And bitter longings
Loss in pleasure
And joy in pain

If we wonder what it means
Well then that is the first step
Which leads to the top of mountains

I'll do anything I need to
 May 2016 Maple Mathers
Torin
Colors, sounds, art, love                                                             ­     
Give me more noise to drown out the silence                            
Lines on cavas                                                            ­                      
Shape with feeling                                                          ­                
Lines on paper                                                            ­                    
Lost metaphor                                                                      ­           
Found meaning
When all I'm meaning to say                                                        
*I
was waiting
for you
my whole life
and
if you
leave me now
all I'm waiting on
is death
Together we ride. It’s time. Rainstorms, floppy windshield wipers, traffic in chaos, wrong turns, and friendly chatter. Can you feel it? Quickly, into the Smoothie King Center—duck and cover from the gusty wind and cold rain. Feel the excitement. Long lines, money shuffling, ruckus crowds, and pleasant laughter. Hurry, find good seats. Feel the fellowship. Bodies collide and separate, sorting the confusion into order. Each lays tacit claim to their place in the mass. Press in. The concert kicks off with flashing lights, loud rhythmic voices, ecstatic music, and cheers. Togetherness. Young and old artists sing their hearts out, one after another. Rap, country, rock, pop, bluegrass, techno, alternative—in unison we scream, clap, sing, head bang, sway, cry, laugh, and raise our hands. Worship.  Pounding music engages every ethnicity, every musical genre, and every heart under Christ. We are one spirit of complete surrender. *Church.
 May 2016 Maple Mathers
Eva D
They've said it all, hundreds of times
I've convinced myself that innocence is a crime
Compliments down-pouring, flooding my ears
But when I'm alone, I'm staring in mirrors
The boys wanting and willing to chase
But every night I lie alone, tears racing down my face.
 May 2016 Maple Mathers
Eva D
The touch of his hand in places unfamiliar.
Knowing that one day this might just **** her.
How slutty, how ***** it all is. Anything, anywhere just to feel like his.
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