I don’t want to
Open my mouth
Because I’m still afraid
The truth might come out
And if it does
If it really breaks free
You’ll see what I am
You’ll see the true me
The one I hide
With jokes and lies
I’m a terrible person
All jokes aside
You don’t seem to know it
You don’t seem to see
Even a glimpse of that person
That I know to be me
I’m such a good actress
I hide it so well
Cover it with a laugh
And you’ll never tell
You see depth in my eyes
You see love and emotion
But what would you see
If I ever did open
I can’t bear to find out
I can’t bear to show
The me you don’t see
The me that I know
If I let it out
If I let it be
I know for a fact
That you would hate me.

I'm slipping
Off the edge of a cliff
At the end of the world
Into a deep dark abyss

tw self harm



My wrists burn
Like steam that must be released

I can do it
I can let it out
I can stop it
I can stop it all!!!




But no.

I’m not supposed to do that

I’ll have to tell my counselor

I’ll have to hide more scars


So... I guess I just have to sit here
Wait until I can feel the pills working
And let the steam build under my skin
Burning, yearning to be set free
Oh what a lovely sight...
To watch
The garnet droplets
As they pool on my pale skin
And with every stroke of the blade
I want to drive it deeper

I accept, I'm in denial,
head over heels, madly in love
with living each day in the dark
The bite of truth is so much harder
then the occasional sudden bark
It's easier this way
It hurts less, makes the truth
seem so much less important;
until it's not
Denial felt safe
but never truly real,
and now the bite
I can finally feel;
the ripping of flesh
bit by bit with subtle nips
of truth
Dark was good, but grey ...
this frightens me
I have too many questions
that I'm too scared
to find answers to,
too many clues
that leaves me asking,
What do I do?
So yes, I'm living in no
Let fate question the answers ...


~ Priya 🕉️ Feb 19, 2020