I tried to forget about her
I tried to forget the pain
I tried so hard
but it's not the same
She will always be on my mind
even when I cannot focus on my mind
She will be the one that haunts my dreams and my drunken
thoughts of love and home
Sh was always the one person who if I even thought of her could stop
me from ripping myself to pieces or stop me from putting myself
6 feet under
But now who's here to stop me
The guy who only wants me for ***
A friend who never talks to me anymore
The family who didn't want me in the first place
Nobody
I guess nothing is the same since then
Nothing

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

There's a fantasy and
she follows me,
it may be a reality but
that's just a technicality,
I see her as my fantasy
it's easier like that.

The new Jerusalem
City men,
gentle not so gentlemen
and full of them.

Jump ahead,
watch the cracks appear
see where we're being led.

The wilderness
we are lost to tractless waste
and I can taste the irony
slipping off my tongue from
deep inside of me.

The new Jerusalem,
millions of variations on
the themes of modern men
but no one sees them and then
they disappear.

In your eyes
a million stars,
I am lost
in your space.

Don't plagiarise my lies,
get back to your roots and
lie to your own truths.
Mine are set to deceive you, to receive
you with arms open wide
don't plagiarise my lies
they're my own truths.