Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Lizzie Feb 2020
I don't effing know what's wrong -
My brain's a mess just like this song;
I sing to the beat and I play this game,
Will I always be the effing same?

I don't like the person I pretend to be,
But **** truth is, I don't even know me,
Changed and shaped by all around
(Without them, I'd be heaven-bound).

Or would I be in hell with Satan?
Cause unless I am mistaken,
My soul is twisted, my heart is cracked.
I just need an effing smack!

These evil thoughts that plague my mind
Take the truth and mix in lies.
I'd take a sponge and scrub them raw,
Remove every thought, but naw,

I'm cursed to live in indecision,
Going on without precision,
Wondering do I have a mission,
Cracking in my heart this fission!

What the eff is wrong with me?
I keep on hoping to believe
That who's saying all this ****
Is only me, and that's it.
Lizzie Feb 2020
You're so near to me, but I can't reach you;
So near to me, but I really need you;
So near to me, but I feel so lost;
Stretch out your hands, and help me God!

I'm drowning in sin, and it's all my fault.
I know that you're waiting with open arms,
But I stumble and fall (I'm blinded by pride);
Say the words, Lord, and open my eyes!

How many times will you bring me the day!
How many times will I turn you away!
How many times will I wish I had not!
Give me your grace, and help me God!

Temptation holds me - please set me free.
My heart is locked - you hold the key.
You ask me gently if you can come in,
But I deny you again and again.

These chains were made by my choice,
So God, don't listen to my voice!
Why do you ask? You know the truth.
I'm placing all my trust in you.

You're so close to me, but I can't reach you;
So close to me, but I really need you;
So close to me, but my spirit is poor;
Stretch out your hands, and be my savior!
Lizzie Feb 2020
Feathers flutter, fly, and fall
White like bones against the Fall
Red; and from the gold raked lawn
Also startled, runs the fawn
Lizzie Feb 2020
A leaf left the branch burdened.
Leaves leave the bough barren.
Lizzie Feb 2020
They said that death and sorrow,
Will hurt today and hurt tomorrow--
That, like autumn to winter passing,
This heartbreak is not everlasting.
But, oh my God, he's gone! He's gone!

Sweet sleep replaced by horrid thought,
Memories the face of grieving shock,
I'm feeling nothing until, my God!
I can't believe he's gone, he's gone!

I saw him the other day, smiling like he always smiles,
Laughing like he always laughs.
We're meeting soon like we always meet.
But oh my God,  he's gone! He's gone!

All those times I could have called
I never got to say (I could have called)
How dearly I love him, oh God!
And now he's gone.
Lizzie Feb 2020
I never thought I'd break my heart o'er a man,
But now daddy's death -- well, it can.
No one loved me like my dad did,
No one loved my dad as I did.

Now see, he weren't my real daddy,
But I know this, he ought to be.
It was more than music which born us close.
Whatter was? I don't quite know.

I met him for the love of music,
At that time, only for music.
I'd play and learn, and when not,
I'd put off lessons so I want caught.

But something grew there somehow
My teacher said, "Don't pay no more."
I didn't pay, and I didn't play,
At least not for me, but him.

Dont get me wrong, I loved my banjo,
But more I loved his smile so,
When I played, it were t'make him proud.
He always smiled, even when I failed.

Then one day he said, "I got this disease,
Wrecks my body - it's called CRP.
Can't move my arm no more at all,
Can't play that banjo on the wall.

So dear daughter, I want you to take
My banjo and play it for my sake."
It were't a beautiful banjo from head to neck
And sounded true in every fret.

So I took his picker and he my heart
Though it was his from the start.
I had no dad and him no daughter.
I think we was made for th'otter.

But work came, and college, too.
I saw him fewer, fewer, few.
I didn't write, I didn't call,
I barely played for him at all.

When I came back, he smiled his smile
"Hello, dear daughter, it's been awhile. "
We couldn't hug like old because
His body wasn't what it was.

I played for him, but played all wrong,
I messed up song and song and song,
"I'm sorry dad, I'm really rusty,
Life has kept me way too busy."
Although in my heart I knew,
It weren't completely true.

"I missed you daughter, it's okay,
You'll play better this next Saturday."
He smiled and laughed when it was said.
But it weren't true. Tuesday he was dead.

I met him for the love of music.
Loved music for the love of him.
But now that my dad is gone,
How will I ever play again?
Lizzie Feb 2020
All that kept her going then
Was to look forward to when
She could finally go to bed
With the Nightmares in her head.

No Horrors that plague the night
Could compare to those of her life.
"Truth is stranger than fiction"
And Reality worse than dream strife.

The minutes ticked much too slow -
Or maybe her heart beat too fast,
But either way it seemed her life
Wouldn't end and wouldn't last.

And so she counted on the days
(Or rather the phases of the pain).
Time went on and yet stayed still;
No change took place to make Time real.

The Woman found she couldn't tell
If she had died and gone to Hell,
Or if Hell had come to Earth,
Though neither place could be worse.

At last sweet Death heard her cry,
As her grave seems to imply.
Or maybe she is wandering still
Tied down by her twisted Will.
Next page