The storm rolled through.
The lightning lit up the night sky.
Thunder crashed against my
Too-sensitive ears,
Making my too-skittish frame
Flinch closer to the corner of the wall.

The rain poured.

The world fell apart.

The clouds fell from the heavens.

Fire sprouted from the ground,
Consuming all in its path.

And I loved you.
And I loved you.
And I loved you.
And I loved you.

The shadows scuttled across the floorboards.
The deepest depths splattered their inky muck across my wounded flesh.
I was held to the ground,
Venom poured into my open veins,
My blood steaming and my pride screaming.

And you loved me.
And you loved me.
And you loved me.
And you loved me.

The sun came out,
The trees grew back.
The grass was greener than before.
The sky, all the bluer.
Your words, all the true-er.

My scars healed over.
I painted over them,
Though the venom courses through me, even still.

You hold me close when it heats my blood,
When my skin grows cold and pale.

You whisper as I beg for peace,
Your hand running through my hair,
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

And I know it is true
After all.

I was not born to suffer.
I was not born to run.

I have suffered.
I have ran.

I was not born screaming.
My teeth were not bared.
There was no blood on my body.

This fight in my heart,
This rebel yell,
I was not born with them.
I taught myself this.

These bloodied hands and fists,
These rubbed-raw-by-gravel feet,
I was not born with them.
I learned this.

This gold heart,
These tender words.
I was born with them.

I will leave screaming,
I will leave with my teeth bared.
I will leave bloodied.

I was not born to suffer.
I was not born to run.

I have suffered.

I will run no longer.

Don't you recognize me?

Don't you see it?

It's me, the monster you made.

It's me, don't you see?

You created this.

I have no rage left for anyone else.
I have no venom for anyone else.

All this toxicity,
All this poison,
It's all yours.

Every spider crawling up your spine,
Every chill choking at your throat,
Every burning tear leaking out
Of your yellow, bloodshot eyes.

It is I,
It is me,
The monster you made.

I have a
Cheshire Cat Grin.
Just as mad
Just as eerie.

I have a Cheshire Cat Smile,
I'll coo to you in the wisps of your rage,
"Oh, but didn't you know?"
But you never knew
You never knew,
Did you?

I have a
Cheshire Cat Grin,
Because I am just as mad,
Just as eerie,
Just as innocent,
And just as deadly,
Within the words, the stories I spin,
The webs I weave.

I have a
Cheshire Cat Smile,
And, Darling Dear,
I'm Mad as a Hatter.

Did you hear?
Did you hear?
The crash and the clatter?

Did you see?
Were you there?
When all that red splattered?

I am the
Voice of the Trees at Night,
I am the
Whisper in Your Bones when Panic Takes Flight.

I am the
Cheshire Cat
And honey, look at my smile.
I am the
C
  H
     E
        S
           H
               I
                 R
                    E
(They're burning in the fire!)
                      C
                   A
                T
(What was that?)

Feel the shiver down your spine,
As the air of this toothy feline
Makes you wonder
Where does madness draw the line?

Do you want the answer?
Will you chance her?

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Breathe,"
They call to me.

"Stay calm."
They whisper softly.

I can hear their tears
As they say,
"Remember to pray."*

And we should be angry.
We shouldn't be offering our sympathy
To the one that stole,
To the one that offered up his soul
For the taste of iron and gunpowder
For the taste of blood,
For the sake of leaving innocents
Six feet under tear-stained mud.

It isn't our weapons.
No, with the right morals and the right lessons,
It wouldn't be a problem.

It wasn't mental illness.
Trust me, please,
I know.
This is more than my business.

I know about trauma, I know about pain.
I know how it feels to have a curse become your name.

But we all have a choice,
We all make that decision,
For whether it will be our light or our dark that we choose to imprison.

He chose to use his pain,
To blend with his hatred.
He became his own darkness,
And that can never be forgiven.

You are the words on the tip of my tongue,
The ink on the ends of my fingers.

You are the
Beat--
Beat---
Beat-
Of my heart.

You are the fire in my throat,
And the steadfast in my stare.

You are the the ice on my wrists
And the soul that I miss.

You are the whole reason,
You are my only season.

You are the burn in my eyes.
You are the truth to all the lies.

You are the space in my brittle heart that never cracked,
You are the wings on my back,
You are the ground beneath my feet.
You are just everything,
Everything to me.

It's funny, I think.
I guess it doesn't matter
If my soul is whole
Or torn and tattered.

There's a part of me
That finds peace in the night.
But that part of me
Doesn't always sound alright.

I like to wake up early,
When the world is still dark.
I sit and I wait,
To see if I recognize any part.

I am often reminded
Of hearts I've held in my palms.
I remember them fondly,
Each and every one of their songs.

Some nights,
The past drenches me in a cold sweat.
Some nights,
You remind me not to forget.

Some nights,
I can't tell my truth from their lies.
Some nights,
I find my home staring in your eyes.

I feel myself falling
Into pools of blue
Twirling threads of gold
That always lead me back to you.

Living in your heart
Is walking through a forest
On a cool, mid-Spring morning.
The waking birds and budding flowers rapidly become our chorus.

The ground beneath me
Sinks and soon gives way,
I plummet through the night sky
And find myself waiting on every word you say.

You brush my hair behind my ear,
Kiss the top of my head.
I realize you still think I'm asleep,
As you hold me close to you in our bed.

I smile to myself.
Old wounds begin to seal shut,
Scar tissue holding strong.
My soul, though worn, no longer cut.

Falling into the warmth
Of the heart I know so well
Reminds me of the life we share
That I always tend to dwell.