04162018
To get over you I will get under a boy
A dark haired boy like you
He won't hurt me
Not like you
I won't let him inside of my soul
Just my body
My. *******. Body.

04172018
Dreams I can't control
I wake up needing you
Nightmares I can control
I lay awake wanting you
You hate me
Or pretend you do while you're under her tongue
Speaking of tongues
The dark haired boy like you loves my body
But in a way that makes me feel *****
*****. Trash. I am.

04182018
I let you go
Or so I thought
I tried to free myself from the hold you have on my heart and my mind
Only to end up tying the noose tighter
I'm familiar with the scars you leave upon my body
I look up
Waxing crescent
You were always cutting your finger nails
You
Are
Everywhere
I
Don't
Want
You
To
Be
The dark haired boy like you becomes more and more like you as he fills me up with more than what I wanted from him
The clouds block my view of the fingernail in the sky
I waited
And I waited
Endured the wind
The cold
The air that smelled of your memory
But the moon never did come back
We were the moon
It. Never. Came. Back.

Enter my mind fellow wanderer
Crawl the mounds of endless banter
Defeat the vines of persuasive voices
Overcome the brick walls of not amounting to more
But there will always be something more to long for
We are never full
Enough is never enough
This is the combat between my walls
I am
Join me fellow wanderer
We are
Merely existing
In a non-existent form

Some days I can't
Control
The way
Tears fall
Trace my lips
You are not the cause
With each kiss you have me wrapped around your finger
It's tightness that I want
Hold me - keep me
With you
Stuck like putty
I am your mold
You could shape me
But you choose not to