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 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Ana S
Bleeding Out
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Ana S
Here I stand.
My mind is under command.
The men in white took me and locked me in a room.
One that's only for the crazies who face certain doom.
Stay here.
Don't have any fear.
We shall force meds down your throat.
Shove a needle into your vain.
Not allowed to talk to the opposite gender.
If you behaved sometimes you'd get to help the little kids.
Sweet little things.
Some in for homiside, attempted suicide, or worse.
I was in for a sum of the three plus some property destruction.
Guess mutilating yourself when your angry doesn't help.
Can't go back to old ways.
She helps me stay fighting everyday.
Willow...
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Ariel Leann
TRAPPED

T
   R
A
     P
P
      E
D
In an illusion of myself
Caught between the past and my own selfishness
Isolated between four walls that are caving in
Hearing the whispers of the unloved
Left alone with just memories to haunt me
No one could hear my cries for help
Nails digging in my back
Slowly puncturing my delicate skin
Feeling my blood seep afloat and slowly stream
Just the right amount of pain
One face left to clench my stomach
Her piercing green eyes in the rage they stayed
Her lips formed into a knarled, derranged twist
Her words cutting like daggers all over my body
Her hair flowing like a monster's
Isolated
I try to scream but it is caught in my throat
Flashing back to the age of six
The monster ontop of me
Enjoying every little cry for help
A man who was suppposed to be a father
Corrupting an innocent child for his own twisted pleasure
He does not know how much he isolated me in my own little world
He laughs at my attempted cries for help
I will *Never
be the same
Corruption
Purging because of my thoughts
The concept was introduced to me
I Never thought I was beautiful
I never really had the chance to be beautiful
Corrupted by uncontrollable words
I don't understand
Looking into the mirror at the monster that I have become
Twisted
Always hid the razor a place where no one would find it
The one thing that I could always rely on
Something that would stay with me
Just wanted someone to love me
Someone to care
Feel the razor slice across my skin
Tears mixing with the blood
Wishing I were never born
Or accomplished my attemped suicide last year
TRAPPED* in the thoughts inside my own head
Isolated in the unheard tears I have been crying
Corrupted by the surrounding people
Twisted in my own thoughts and actions
Sorry, I just needed to let it all out.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Robert Guerrero
Its the world I go to
When all my love is rejected
When everything fails
When my best friends fail to guide me
Out of this dark place Im in
So I just grab a bottle
Drink till the pain is gone
Jumping straight into a drunken wastland

I called each of them six times
Trying to get this off my chest
But each and everyone of them rejected my call
So here I am
Bottle in hand
Trying to find the path
To a drunken wasteland
That I missed for so long

I attempted suicide nine times today
Failed each time
So Ill just drown my pain and sorrows
Till the world itself becomes nonexistant
This drunken wasteland is a peaceful place
Really there are no worries and no more pain
Just people who have ruined lives as well
People who truely understand what Im going through

I just wish when I leave this place
That I could breath
Stick my head in the clouds
And find peace for once
Dont I deserve some kind of heaven
In this **** hell
When everything is the same
I just run and hide in a drunken wasteland
A poem I wote a long time ago
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Ellyn k Thaiden
Wrapped tightly into yourself
Head heavy and heart imploding
Trying to **** you in and make you
Believe you are the **** up they whisper about

Not sure where to place your hands
Holding your stomach or head?
Which one? Because both are aching
For comfort and attention

But both refused to be touched
By none other than yourself
Small breaths of air aren't efficient enough
Spots form in your peripheral vision

Memories play through your head
The good ones come like bolts of lightning, thin and rare
The bad in pounding rains
The worst memories slip in like poison

The thought of suicide might cross your mind
I know it does in mine
Maybe you've even attempted
Once, twice, five, eleven times

The number climbs just like the clock ticks

Ticking away, eating at precious minutes
Forcing you through another day
Filled with thoughts of razors and pills
High ledges and bullets lined up in chambers

Awaiting the day you decide to pull the trigger

But the mood ebbs away as the sun rises
Though the thoughts of suicide never leave you
They calm themselves, the storm passes
And you're left alone again

Aren't you tired of being alone?
Because I know I am
I am sick of the perpetual depression that settles
In the back of my brain

I am disgusted by how often the
Razor caresses my soft skin
And the lack of sleep and
What I day dream

Because it's often fantasies of being
Stuck six feet under
While no one stands around my grave
Because no one cares

I'm sick
I'm tired
I'm lonely
And I am more than done
It was quite the gloomy day for young Lucy. A very, very vile day indeed. Every day follows this same suit. This, however, does not normally affect her, as she has been hardened by her daily burdens at school; until today. We'll get to that part soon, but first let me tell you a little more about Lucy's life.

She is often the object of ridicule by the other girls at her boarding school, St. Chucky's School for Girls. But this does not compare to when she is at the mercy of Helen. Helen, the most popular girl at SCSG, everybody adores her, but not just that, they want to be her. It is not necessarily their fault, as they are oblivious to Helen's charm. Lucy even finds herself coveting Helen's life, occasionally. But nobody (with the exception of Lucy) can see through Helen's façade: That of a wolf in sheep's skin. Words such as "base," and "ruthless," fall short when trying to define her. Every time Helen begins a rumor about Lucy, it doubles as another nail in Lucy's coffin. We'll file this metaphor under "obvious foreshadowing."

Though try as she might, she constantly feels inept at handling her life when in the hands of Helen. She has attempted – time after time – to appeal her case to the adamant directors, but they – sadly – are hypnotized under Helen's such guile pretense. A compromise is utterly pointless at best. So Lucy primarily tries to evade Helen's clutches.

This brings us to the present, where we find Lucy crying in the comfort of solitude inside the restroom. She aimlessly wanders the labyrinths of her mind seeking the answers to why she feels so alone in this world. She ponders what she has finally decided. If she'd have had just one friend, maybe the imminent future wouldn't look so desolate. But this is not a happy story, and unhappy stories are usually followed by a very unhappy ending. Trying to anchor herself to anything she could possibly have left. …She fails. Oh well.

Losing her grasp on reality, and with a swift kick, the stool from beneath her feet gives way, allowing the rope's grasp around her neck to tighten. Her body thrashes about, fighting, but to no avail. Time flashes before her eyes as she blinks her last. Poor Lucy, she was too naïve to realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

But don't worry, they'll eventually find her body. And maybe Lucy will get what she wanted: for everybody to feel sorry for her. Maybe all the girls will realize the damage they've caused. And maybe, just maybe Helen won't get reprieved this time for what she's done… Fat chance. Such a pity.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Iris
Untitled
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Iris
Some nights I don't even care
that you don't care and that's how i know we're both
burnt out, like cigarettes, sticking to the walls of the other's lungs;
maybe i'm just fooling myself because deep down i know
that really, we were just
matches that wouldn't light from the start...
They say suicide is attempted every 40 seconds but i doubt
you'd bother to get to know me well enough to
break into me through the balcony and not my bedroom window within the seconds left- 39,
38,
37,
36...
i'm confident that you had me falling under 20..
You didn't even bother to catch my eyes through
the bars today, you didn't even bother to find out
that my very own existence might be able to be summed up in the way I've thought of the rain hitting the
pavement as tiny dancing butterflies ever since i was five..
four, three...
Why would you speak as if you were pulling me close when really all you've been doing, is pulling me apart?
Why would you remind me to stop holding my breath
when I've been catching my breath on you?
I don't want you in my lungs
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Jade M Matelski
This is a list of the times I allowed myself to collapse.
These are the reasons I tried to drown myself in a bathtub filled with thick crimson and cheap liquor.
This is my final suicide note.

1. Today in science class my teacher brought out the human skeleton and I wished it was me.
2. I've never drank whiskey, but when my blood turns to Bourbon, I need to open the bottle.
3. I cannot count the times I've created spines on the mirror. I need to kiss the white lines.
4. The cats are meowing, they're hungry. I am so focused on not feeding myself that I have forgotten to feed them.
5. I'm a lot like cigarettes. I light easily. Burn out quickly. Focused on destroying you-always destroying myself.
6. I've got poison in my veins-I unzip myself daily. When I kissed you- I infected you. We have poison in our veins. Addicted to destroying ourselves. The Devil will watch and be envious.
7. I am 17. I have attempted suicide too many times to count. Every time in a different way.
          a. cliche; slit my wrist open and let flowers spill.
          b. drowned myself in a handful of pills and a bottle of *****.
          c. hung myself with my bedsheet.
          d. decayed my stomach lining with bleach
          e. starved the ugly out of me-let my bony knuckles callus.  
This time I am going to fling myself from a building, call my friends, and hope they'll catch me.

Because I never truly wanted to die.
I want to be saved from myself. I want someone to zip me back up. I want to look at the sun and not think about burning. I want to be able to sit in a bathtub with clear water. I want to eat a candy bar, and not taste it twice. I want someone to look at me and see flowers-not blades.
I wish I had green thread to sew my veins back together. I wish I had a syringe, i'd **** the poison from my blood. I wish I knew what love felt like, maybe I could perfect the practice.

This is not a poem.
This is not written with the intent to explain myself because I don't know myself well enough to explain.
This is a suicide note.
This is my last suicide note.
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