After you I'll run
even though walking is quite fun
After you I'll start over
hoping to find a four leaf clover
I've spent enough time crying so After you
I'll live with only laughter
Maybe you did me a favour  
Because baby you  were just not my flavour

Before you,I glowed like the sun.
Before you, I was more fun.
Before you, I could have run.
Then, you shut it all down.
Before you, I had a smile not a frown.
I swear to claim my throne and make you pay for making me a clown.
Now, you dance and be glad only because I gave you the chance.

She trusted you with her care
She trusted you with out fear
Hoping you would be her friend, her father
But instead you made her your partner
16 and pregnant that's what you did
Too afraid of breaking the silence
Hoping that  the pain would go away
Now she not only a monster but a killer too for taking the life of an innocent one

I see your eyes enlarging with fear, as I step forward with nothing but a tear in my eyes. I really don't want to do this. But,you hurting me is repetitive like a broken record player. As I step closer, I see your face flushed as I ****** the knife back and forth. I raised the knife and stabbed you repeatedly as the blood splashed all over my body. Oh, this feeling, this spectacular feeling! I suddenly feel alive. I feel your energy enter my body as life leaves yours. As your once beautiful opaque body becomes nothing but my work of art, like a carpenter, I carved you as I wanted. Like a potter, I made you into my masterpiece. Have I gone too far? Do I no longer enjoy the feeling of blood running from my talented arm? Oh, this blood is like honey; the taste is vivid and so sweet. My dearest friend, you will forever be embedded in my memory of that wonderful night when we became one with your blood, your precious blood all over me. I feel like a celestial being. This heavenly feeling, I hope it won't fade. I hope it lasts forever. I will cherish our memories, but I will always make new friends so you don't feel lonely, my dear friend.it last forever I will cherish our memories but I will always make new friends so you don't feel lonely my dear friend.

you light my life with your fire
you showed me a world of desire
you took away the light you gave to me
i couldn't see what you were doing because your love darken my eyes
how bitter are you to leave me in the dark
how bitter are you to have break my heart
i do wish that you could relight my life
and take me out the dark

you gave me everything
even when i wanted nothing
you gave me hope
joy
love
even pride
what shocked me ,you took them away
i couldn't bare the pain so i ran away
to a place u couldn't find me, but
there u were
trying to start a war
between what i need to do and want to do
how bitter could you be
you didn't even know better
than putting me on a roller coaster
up and down and around i go
its a pity you didn't even felt guilty

2 years ago I fell in love
2 years ago I was yours
The years flew by and we were separated by nothing but time
My love grew and my heart ache
My heart ache and my love felt the pain
He went to study time and distance became my enemy
He got a female roomy
She's sees him in ways I don't
She understands him while I don't
She's more like a lover n I the friend why do I feel like it's a competition
I feel like I'm losing my baby to another
Maybe She's twice the woman I'll ever be
I ask about his day he gets annoyed
I ask about her he gets annoyed
I ask about us he gets annoyed
Where do I stand maybe it's because I suffocate him with my rules
With my lack of trust
I show compassion it goes unnoticed
She breathe and I suffer
What should I do
Should I trust
Should I ignore my feelings
He made it clear that's there's nothing there I do believe him but still
When she breathe I'm left in pain
Maybe if I trust him and let go of my jealousy it would be fine

But yet all I know is there's a woman who's comforting my baby in ways I can't no not sexually mentally
My love my baby tell me how do I cope how do I go on knowing about this woman who makes you laugh
I trust you I love you
But how do I let go of my jealousy

My life is unfair I don't know where to begin
I love and yet receive none
my parents love me out of guilt
my siblings love me because of what I can do for them
My lover he think that that the ink on these pages are not from my heart if I Could tear a piece of my heart and write my soul out would you then believe my that these pages are filled with stories that mean the world to me if I tear my heart and write
you would see my heart bleeding on these pages you would see my broken truth
You would see my troubled soul so for today alone
I'll tear a sample of my heart to show you my care just for today you'll see my heart bleeding on to these pages just for today you'll see the scared little girl too afraid to talk because of the fear of being beaten
Just for today you'll see the apologetic teen who keeps apologising because of the torment she faced
Just for today you'll see the suicidal girl who thinks her life is meaninglessness
Just for today you'll see the girl who is afraid to love
Just for today I'll show you the still beating yet bruised heart
Do you see it now
my heart bleeding on the these pages do you feel the pain  
Coming from these ****** pages
Have the vacant lines been filled with
The broken pen unable to write
do you see the crooked words my
informal sentences do you see it
I hope you saw my bleeding heart just for today

i'm in a dress
i look my best
its well fitted
but i'm not committed
he's at my side
and i have my pride
if only they see behind our doors
are the scars which he left in my pores
he drags me by my hair
and left me in despair
oh ,it wont happen again
he swears
he then showers me with gifts
hoping that i'll feel bless
i have a secret in my belly
so i made a promise i'll try my best to make it jolly
i got him mad not again i cried in my soul
as he beat me on the floor
blood running down my legs
as i'm remembering my pledge
i ran to kitchen, i took a knife
and there i took  his life
to repay my innocent child

Your eyes are like stars which captures me
your lips are the roses which takes my breathe
your touch is ever beautiful like i'm on cloud 9
But your tongue is like a knife which cuts deep in my soul
you know just what to say and do,
to hold my love
but what kills me are the razors in your mouth
they all see it
your the crazy kid with the knife and im the doll u prey on
if only i could be free from your hands and your sliver tongue

My heart flutters at the sight of you
Just like the day you bring me warmth
But yet like the night your so cold
Should I give you up
Should I let go
Or maybe I'll just look from afar
And suffer in silence

i showed kindness to others yet they reject me
i open my heart yet they rob my joy
oh world why are you so
the people are with out a heart
and have no good deeds
why do you plant your seeds in such a wicked place
you are just not ready for me

They say roses are red and violet are blue
I say that nothing is really true
There different kinds of roses different colors
Even white so tell me if I should sit and sip on some red wine when I feel love when I feel happy or jolly maybe even rid on a pony thinking about this is funny because  I know there are different kind of violet even purple and blue so tell what should I do when I feel blue should I sit at the edge of a wall hoping to be push looking all flush or should I be still and be silence is this a poem oh I forgot when I'm blue I can only think of the red as the pages bleed with my words my heart racing thinking of what I'm facing I guess there two side to ever coin just like your heart I don't know if you bleed at my displeasure or if you wish to see me cover in these pages I guess your word really are like a two edged sword i wish instead of word you'll actually use a sword thinking back I'm wondering if I ever belong in your heart was there ever space for me did I really think it was vacant I guess it's occupied with hatred for me or maybe you have prepared a vacant tomb ready to be occupied

I want to hide it
But it disappeared,
feeling nothing is a bit....
overwhelming,
and just like that,
I realized its turned off,
I'm wondering, would it come back harder,
without a warning?
Would those feelings, those emotions come rushing back in my mind,
like a flood that was waiting to be released?
I hate not knowing any other way to deal,
it comes like second nature to me,
to be able to turn off a part of my mind,
It happened automatically,
I didn't even try.
Guess my body developed
a healing mechanism.
but at the same time,
I have to walk through life not feeling anything,
I don't miss those feelings
I wish I could maybe I shouldn't