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Dearly beloved,
You once asked me how deep my love is for you. I never answered.
You see.. I wasn't sure.. whether you would like what I say. I didn't want to overwhelm you with my reply.
I'm a possessive soul.
I can't share what is mine. You may call me selfish.
That's okay.
If being selfish means having you all to myself.. then yes I'm the most selfish person on this planet.
As for my answer, my love for you cannot be measured. It's unfathomable, boundless and unrestricted. There is no depth to my love for you. There is no end to it. Nothing will ever be able to suffice how much I adore you...
I.

I’ve swallowed too many I love you’s
to be afraid of coughing up blood.
They cut you on secret.
Who knew it was drinking gasoline
and sawdust and every little inflammable thing
and then sitting down cross-legged
in the heart of a howitzer; soft.

II.

You are a soft explosion.
You are streaks of a rebel orange
in a sky that is supposed to be blue.
You are steel rods in the curve of my spine,
holding me straight.

III.

I love you’s are like death notes written in ash:
you’ll have to smoke your way to it.
Smoke cigarettes, journals, curtains,
and yourself to get that much ash in your lungs;
trying to blow smoke rings into your finger;
my ceiling knows more about my sadness than you do.

IV.

Saying an I love you once will have you
chanting “don’t leave me” on a rosary;
love will take your bones and leave you
lusting for somebody whose back
is the last thing you’ll see, and whose
skin you’ll think you left your keys in:
and now you’ve locked yourself out
of your own house, in a storm
whose sirens wail in your ears and remind
you, you’re hopeless and homeless.

V.

I love you’s leave no exit wounds,
no shell casings, and when the time comes
you’ll be telling them all how his bullet
ricochets in your ribs,
but emotion never made up for evidence
in the court of settlements for a broken heart.

VI.

Telling someone you love them is like cutting your jugular
and not expecting to bleed out.

VII.

I love you like the pages of a mad girl’s journal.

VIII.

The moon turns from an ally
to the haunting image of science and realisation:
you share the same sky, but no longer the same bed.
And astronomy keeps ******* you over
when you look up at the sky
and no longer understand constellations.

IX.

Love makes it more getting-back-at-you
than getting-back-together-with-you.

X.

Every time you taste blood,
you’ll know you kissed somebody
with teeth like needles
and they cut you everywhere; they
bit you, they bit you, they bit you
and you kept letting them.
22/12/2015
3:11AM
 Dec 2015 Joliver
Dorothy A
Thinking about that guy
How he got all rusted up
How he longed to have a heart
How he got stuck in mid-motion.

I long to write again
But like the tin man
My heart (for writing) seems lacking
Haven't I said it all?

I mean it gets old
It's no longer refreshing
Writing is a gift that seems to have peaked
Something that once flowed very well

I'm frozen up
I need some oiling
To get the process churning
Frustrating, when I want to move

But I feel stuck
She's just a friend
Who I share common interests with
She's just a friend
Who doesn't reply sometimes
She's just a friend
I talk to about movies
She's just a friend
I share my favorite songs to
She's just a friend
Who listens to my sadness
She's just a friend
That I share stories to
She's just a friend
That I think the world of
She's just a friend
To whom I would give my heart to
She's just a friend
Who I'd want to hold hands with
She's just a friend
Who I'd trust with my heart and soul
She's just a friend
That I want to see when I'm sad
She's just a friend
That makes me happy
She's just a friend
That makes me sad
She's just a friend
That confuses my emotions
She's just a friend
I wanna see all the time
She's just a friend
I'd write poems to
She's just a friend
I would cry to
She's just a friend
Who haunts my dreams at night
She's just a friend
Who makes me drink to forget her
She's just a friend
That breaks my heart every time I see her
She's just a friend
That breaks me every time I think of her

*She's just a friend
And I'm just a friend
And that's all we are
And that's all we will ever be
Even if it hurts me
 Dec 2015 Joliver
Sharina Saad
Have you ever given this a thought?
Who will mourn your death?
Your better half?
Your loved ones?
Your friends?
Sad to say...
Life doesn't come to an end when you die
The moment your breathing stops
The clock ticks still
The wind blows as usual
The sun still shines
Life continues
Never stopping
Never ending
At the funeral
Your closed friends cry
Your family breaks down
Temporarily grieving
They wear black
They visit your grave
Your name may linger in their hearts
But as they start to laugh again
You became a memory
The world continues
Life moves on....
 Dec 2015 Joliver
DarkDepriment
Getting your heart broken feels like a nightmare that you actually have to live in.
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